Women complain that men need to be told how to relate better with women. Women ignore or forget this difference in the genders: You don’t tell men—collectively or individually—how to relate without producing unintended consequences. Feminism’s Dark Side describes it for men generally. Exes produce the evidence about individuals.
- She shows signs that she appreciates him, but only when things go her way.
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She makes her nesting more important than his ego. For example, her drive for fashion outweighs to a fault his desire for functionality.
- She spends contrary to his frugality.
- She calls his ego troublesome, while she blithely claims women have no ego.
- She denigrates his ego, when it’s the outward expression and protector of his significance.
- She makes herself feel good at his expense. For example, she accommodates the kids while ignoring his priorities or even presence.
- She rides herd on him to prevent little mistakes or impose her will or preference for how things are to be done.
- She tells him how to handle and solve his problems at his place of employment. (Men keep silent about their work to prevent her interference and to prevent her judgments about what he tells her—which can never be the whole story.)
- When associating with his male friends, she tries to act like one of the guys to win their appreciation for either her or him.
- She tells him HOW and WHEN to do things instead of citing WHAT needs to be done and let him work out the details.
It’s not the big things that hold a man, such as sex, feeding, love, likeability, respect, devotion. The accumulation of little malpractices causes his interests in her to seep away through cracks she causes with disrespectful and ungrateful incidents.
[More about female malpractice appears in post 150. Scrolling down is best, but you can search on the number with a dot and space after it.]
1 Comment
04/12/2008 at 5:18 pm
Great post. It makes a lot of sense.