Human nature can and often does overrule love, fairness, compassion, equality, politics, religion, logic, reason, common sense, and ‘what oughta be’. One option encourages it. Another option discourages it.
Competition within a couple’s decision making generates incompatibile emotions. It worsens like an untreated infection and stirs his dominant nature. Competition stimulates thoughts about her as dispensable.
Cooperation breeds compatibility and demonstrates to him that he’s indispensable. As men become more indispensable, they grow in steadfastness and devotion to whatever they are doing. Cooperation works more like exercise than apathy.
She determines whether competition or cooperation prevails in their home. By competing less and cooperating more, she capitalizes on their opposing natures. This improves her chances of moving him toward indispensability and keeperhood.
It sounds lop-sided. One option works against her. The other favors him. It may be why God designed her and Nature endowed her with so much expertise for managing her relationships.
1 Comment
04/25/2009 at 4:35 am
Guy
Yet another awesome post that rings true into my life – my fiance said a couple months ago that he could feel himself changing and becoming more traditional (and happier because of it) becuase in his previous relationships there had been that faux equality (hook up shack up competition break up etc) but that he realises that this does not work. He brought all this up on his own!! I was amazed it – it was like straight out of your blog
I must say though in the beginning of dating him I was not convinced things would work out like this as he tested my boundaries (e.g. pushed for early sex). I said no to that alot (very nicely) and even refused to even be his girlfriend (e.g. stop seeing other men) until he proposed.
It so true that women have so much power in their femininity but its so hard when society (I am in the UK) doesn’t support it.