Women lose their power to offset their mate’s dominant nature when they rely on feelings instead of thinking through with intent to solve problems.
Women easily sense disharmonies, problems, or conflicts in their relationships with a man. Men are far less sensitive to such potentially disruptive forces. Not only less sensitive but also the main culprit, or so women see it.
The ball is always in her court for a variety of reasons, and she has options. Without her initiative and leadership to resolve issues before they compound, her relationship will likely flounder and may fail. It’s in her court because:
· She’s the relationship expert. Her female nature arms her to counter his dominance when necessary. She has only to play her cards right.
· He won her by proving himself worthy—or should have. She married him for better or worse, That is, ‘as is’! If he now disappoints her, it’s her fault. Or, so she should assume and more easily forgive and forget.
· Regardless of his guilt, it’s counterproductive to try quieting his dominant nature. When a man is blamed by his woman, he shifts into competitive mode and treats her as he would another guy—except he can be more forceful with much less fear of reprisal. In competitive mode with his woman, his battle helmet hardens, and he enters discussions with no intention of losing.
· Leadership operates on principles—primarily responsibility and authority. First principle: Without responsibility, one has no authority to act. If she blames him and expects him to change whatever is wrong, then she accepts no responsibility and has no authority to go further.
· Blame initially offends him, so she should wait for him to get clued in. She thus yields the power to initiate. When problems become apparent to him, his problem-solving dominance rises to take over. She merely has to guide his efforts to solve her problem.
When she abrogates her role as relationship expert, she loses strength for easing his dominance.
[More on the shattering of female dominance appears at posts 283, 252, 237, 222, 209, 194, 173, 159, and 151.]
