♀ Even though two-thirds of all divorces are started by women, men are blamed as if only they screw up marriages. Women proclaim innocence by citing their inexperience, which justifies blaming men.
♀ Women abandon their natural feminine nature for the political feminist cause. They gain an unnatural kind of experience that puts men down. So, they lose their ability to successfully manage relationships with men.
♀ Cheap, free, easy, or casual sex make her worthy of him. It makes him the buyer and makes her the seller. The exact reverse of what makes her a keeper before marriage, but what, paradoxically, makes her a keeper after nuptials.
♀ When women talk about former mates, often to ease their guilt, they reveal their own shortcomings.
♀ There’s a hex to talking about her ex. Sympathetic and empathetic listeners hear her side, lift her blame. This confirms and reinforces her rightness and eases her motivation to change for the next guy.
♀ Women don’t often get what they want when they want it, which is usually a lasting relationship with Mr. Right right now. Overly eager and full of wrong data about men, they accept one without being able or taking the time to weigh his potential for Mr. Wrong.
What Women Never Hear 
“Cheap, free, easy, or casual sex make her worthy of him. It makes him the buyer and makes her the seller.”
You have spoken of the buyer/seller dynamic in other posts. In my experience, it seems women are now the sellers- even if they practice chaste courtship. The “is she good enough for me” mentality is so engrained in men that they still have this attitude even before sex (it’s hard to tame this if the man in question has had a string of women before you who gave into intercourse rather easily)! I hear men all the time say that they won’t decide on a woman until AFTER they’ve had sex with her- if he still wants her around then apparently that says something.
Your Highness,
As a woman you intuitively misinterpret “is she good enough for me.” It’s an alibi for female ears. For male ears it comes out this way: “She will take everything I own, if I do marry her!”
As to the male chatter you describe in your last sentence. It’s the IN thing to say to buds. Men don’t doubt but that women will put out under light pressure. So, only a stupid man, as they think, would mate up without sex first.
• Sex first is also IN with females. Guys want to keep their compensation with minimal investment of Self, and so they adopt whatever attitude keeps women losing the battle of the sexes.
• After a man has had sex, he CAN make a decision. Before that, his conquering nature prods to keep trying without committing to anything.
• Never trust what people say motivates them. It doesn’t mean they lie, deceive, or otherwise show dishonesty. It simply means you should not trust their hidden agenda precisely because everyone has an always-active one.
• You can’t expect men to be eager to marry when the unmarried state is not risky, but the marital state is high risk for his wealth, status, stature, and role among men.
Don’t read conspiracy into what preceded. Instead, consider the effects of social pressures on individuals, values, society, culture, and expanded pressures caused by the upcoming sexually active generation, which always has to outdo the one immediately before.
Guy
I think some men are upset about feminism because now women don’t HAVE to marry men, and women don’t HAVE to stay in bad marriages. This means that men now have to become sellers too, and apparently, some of you don’t like that too much!
I think some men are upset about feminism because now women don’t HAVE to marry men, and women don’t HAVE to stay in bad marriages. This means that men now have to become sellers too, and apparently, some of you don’t like that too much!
Your Highness,
Quite the contrary. Men appreciate the seller role. Women buy so easily and cheaply into what men want first and foremost that men have to offer very little of Self. He has control to marry or not, commit or not, depart or not. If not with her, then with the next one so eager to have boyfriend or man.
As to the Marrying Man, disappointing females teach him to have patience.
Guy
Thanks guy. You can’t always believe everything a guy tells you about his expectations or otherwise because you don’t know the agenda behind it. (May dad always told me “Don’t believe a thing until you’ve got that ring.” There are many people out to deceive for the benefit of their own agenda. I hate to think like that because then you have to work hard not to see the other person as the enemy. When in doubt you always have to fall back on your knowledge of the differences between the male and female psyches. This is what’s lost in today’s world. People have no clue about basic male/female differences and psyches.
Your Highness,
You have a strong ability for nailing down the issues.
Guy
Easybreezy,
“Don’t believe a thing until you’ve got that ring.”
I like that! ;>
Regarding human motivation, it doesn’t HAVE TO be malicious…most humans have beliefs about WHY they would/or IF they would do x, y, z things, but when assessed later, their beliefs tend not to match their realities. I have a friend whose life’s research is decision-making behaviors in human beings…he says that human decisions are rarely based simply on “the facts,” “rational thoughts,” “lofty values,” or conscious motivations…many decisions are automatic and hardwired.
Easybreezy,
I found this and thought of you (re: the classic movies). The blogger posts some nice thoughts about looking beautiful and classy for yourself (as well as the man in your life). It’s the “Glamour Do? Or Don’t?” post on Dec 19th.
They team nicely with some sentiments posted by you, Guy, as well. Especially the one about the woman waiting for her husband’s return from work and her neighbor’s attitudes about it.
Adding color to a man’s black & white world…
http://www.sfgirlbybay.com/
Guy,
When you say…
“When women talk about former mates, often to ease their guilt, they reveal their own shortcomings”, what do you mean? I would feel guilty if I didn’t tell my man about my past. But, in the same respect, I don’t just want to tell him, I rather it be brought up. Or should I not tell him? I don’t want to keep secrets but I also don’t want to reveal shortcomings. Thanks for all your postings they’re all so good!
~Meg
Princess Meg,
Women open up to ease guilt. The manner used to describe an ex’s shortcomings disclose their own.
The character, habits, and behaviors of ex or exes are no business to new man. The details as opposed to existence are best kept private. Seeking forgiveness through prayer best assuages guilt, bad memories, and mistakes.
If he makes it his business, he’s probing for her weaknesses. She shouldn’t tolerate it. Having non-discussable subjects confirm her self-respect, which adds to his respect of her.
This subject has more to do with discretion than secrets, internal problem solving more than full disclosure. She accepted ex. Either she made bad choice or failed to keep him. Would she likely benefit discussing it with new man?
Guy