I dedicate this series to Her Highness Marianne. Dealing with teen boys concerns her, as it does others, so this series will look at prepping boys and girls for the teens.
Raising kids can be simplified with clearer terms and concepts. I place on the table the following high-impact themes as openers:
M RESPECT—How parents respect and treat each other is more vital than how they treat their children. (This presumes conscientious parents and the absence of abuse and maltreatment.)
M AUTHORITY—When parents disrespect adults and discredit authority figures, kids learn and will act the same way toward the parents.
M ROLES—By not specializing in distinctly different roles, parents generate unneeded confusion, mistakes, resentments, and power struggles that confound parental development. It compounds to weaken child development.
M VALUES—Children inherit, adopt, and otherwise absorb their values from three sources: parents, heroes, and peers. But it happens respectively in three phases of development.
M DISINTEREST—Mental growth causes disinterest with techniques and ‘motivators’ that parents use. One impact: Love and nurturing lose their energizing influence after the weans. This mandates that parents develop themselves.
Next post facto: Mom’s Song.
“By not specializing in distinctly different roles, parents generate unneeded confusion, mistakes, resentments, and power struggles that confound parental development.”
This is very true. Also known as “playing the parents against each other.”
I grew up in a household where my dad and grandma were a united front. I suppose that’s why I have such good, strong boundaries now and, to quote their words as my own, “I say what I mean and mean what I say.”
Some of my friends weren’t so lucky. They spent many years floundering, having to re-parent themselves to become the adults they are today.