A couple breaks up without bitterness or maybe with it. They retain interest in each other, or they don’t. Marriage or remarriage enters her mind as wish, desire, or possibility or perhaps not. The critical question: Will they under any condition have sex together after breakup?
Restored sexual privileges work against permanent reconciliation. Unless they both change, they will return to more of whatever they had before breakup. The ex with benefits has little reason and no incentive to upgrade from whatever he—or she—was before.
It’s a one-way street to new relationship, and she has to direct traffic. She has to willfully impose new expectations and standards about sex.
© She can change fairly easy, but he won’t, except as he confronts new mystery surrounding barriers to sex previously ‘owned’.
© Chastity, imposed solely because of break up, causes mystery. It’s another aspect of feminine mystique that makes men want to join up with a woman’s interests.
© Dedication to chastity earns greater respect and self-respect for her. Respect being the foundation of a man’s love and dependent on her self-respect, higher standards regarding sex increases her stature in his eyes two different ways.
© Chastity incentivizes men, especially exes. He can’t believe she can resist him after what they had together. He knew her hot buttons before, but what happened? How come he’s suddenly not good enough?
© She’s different, unreadable, and willful, which earns newfound respect as long as she doesn’t explain, complain, or let her thoughts be known about the whys and wherefores of it all. One exception: next.
© Chasteness is valuable, and she owes it to her husband. Whoever the next one is, he’s worth it. That’s all ex should know. So what if she didn’t feel that way earlier in life. She now lives a new life with license to be different.
© Chastity reenergizes his conquering spirit. This makes him choose. Conquer her again, or go elsewhere? The greater challenge lies with her, a known entity now filled with unconquerable unknowns. It’s unmanly not to rise to the competitive challenge she throws at him. Can he leave such a puzzle unsolved and unconquered?
© His conquering spirit reenergizes his drive to prove himself worthy, so he chases her. As he gives more and more of himself, he slowly restores the conviction that he can’t live without her. (The movie Fireproof exhibits this natural phenomenon that love comes from giving, but most men must be taught, and it should start in toddlerhood.)
Chastity is not foolproof, but the odds favor reconciliation much more than granting benefits to any ex.
The next post in this series describes outmaneuvering his sexual imperative.
5 Comments
03/31/2009 at 9:41 am
I must tell you, I have been following this website for months now and the knowledge I have gained is PRICELESS. Thank you so much for being honest with women…I can tell from previous comments that you have already helped many young women besides me
I deal with men so much differently now and for all my hard work men treat me so much better in return. 
This is far better than any self-help book I have ever read. I am hoping more girls read ideas like these and some sort of cultural revolution will take place (one that this time really will benefit women!).
Princess Manda,
I love it when pretty women tell me such things.
Guy
03/31/2009 at 4:18 pm
Hear hear Manda!
Guy, this is definitely a one of a kind blog
I wish they would suggest offering it as a subject in high schools and colleges etc. Perhaps there would be far less pain, angst and regret when it comes to women making the wrong choices.
Your Highness Melina,
Thanks. I love it when pretty women tell me such things.
Guy
03/31/2009 at 8:12 pm
“outmaneuvering his sexual imperative.” haha- can’t wait to hear this. It’s spring and high season for outmaneuvering…
Princess Easybreezy,
It’s scheduled for posting this Friday.
Guy
04/01/2009 at 5:25 am
Sir Guy, forget Steve Harvey, YOU are the one who should on Oprah, in fact I might just call Oprah up myself and tell her(she’s a close friend of mine he,he)But I do have a question that has come up with friends, and that is why do men who love their wives start to have affairs when they become more successful?
Your Highness Theresa,
Here’s one major reason: Because of the strong masculine competitive spirit, imagination translates success in one thing as potential for greater success. So why not greater success in sex? The thought gives birth to curiosity, which energizes imagination about conquest or conquests.
It’s when character proves its strength or weakness, and why women should pay more attention to it.
Guy
PS. No way would I ever go on Oprah or any other TV show. But your thoughts are nice and appreciated. You’re my hero, not Oprah or others of that ilk. They got females into their present malpractice as females and mishandling of males.
G.
05/08/2009 at 10:32 am
I have a date with my ex on Wed…I will read this series 3x before we got outjust to make sure I don’t slip up ; )