The lead article in this series introduced the subject of sex after breakup and how to reconcile successfully, should she ever desire it.
Chastity with an ex makes her the driver and him the passenger. It reenergizes his natural drive to conquer and squeezes it beneath her commitment to serve herself with abstinence.
Under such pressures, his renewed respect can redound to new love. But whether it does or not and regardless of final outcome, she wins and he loses.
If she might want him back, or just wants to test to see if he’s worthy, she works on herself in such a way that he works on himself:
© She commits and accepts him only for a platonic friendship and courtship. This silhouettes her chastity and honors her self-respect, both of which men respect.
© She finds moral reasons to remain chaste and reinforces such reasons continually to herself.
© She stamps out any lingering bitterness in herself and finds ways to kill any bitterness he may have.
© She forgives his past offenses, and it includes forgetting them.
© She knows that to explain herself shifts the advantage back to him. She doesn’t complain and doesn’t explain about withholding sex. It’s just the way she is NOW. One exception: next.
© When pushed, she acknowledges that she’s saving herself for first or next husband, whoever it may be. No hurry. Ex may qualify, but who knows at this time. That’s all ex should know, because that’s all she should be committed to.
© If ex wants to qualify as husband, let him try. Fewer words by her convince more easily, because rejection speaks so loudly.
© Her chasteness becomes believable and valuable when he concludes that other men also run into her new commitment to abstinence.
© Unless incompatibilities intrude such as bitterness, saving herself for another man eats at him. This induces change in men worth their salt.
Never foolproof, but chastity works better than anything else to change the male mind.
