As husbands need lessons on HOW to love wives, females need to be taught HOW to respect men. Not talking about respect due because of male dominance, but respect due from women in spite of male dominance. The former is routine, the latter endorses and reinforces a man’s self-respect.
♫ The military leadership model in article 523 shows the importance of masculine self-respect in governing manly behavior.
♫ Scream all you want, but this is true. Innocent touching of male by female friend or associate—pat on back, etc.—passes strong messages of trust, which reinforces his self-respect. She has the skill, if she develops it, to also confirm the touch as innocent and not a call for his imagination to get excited.
♫ His hard-headedness reflects back from life’s mirror as self-respect. He governs his life to wipe out distortions or polish up smears that appear from time to time.
♫ Her soft-heartedness shines into life’s prism and emerges in various colors of love. She governs her life to keep the colors clear and bright.
♫ Seeds are planted in childhood. Females learn by watching mom relate to dad. Unfortunately, because of so many fractured homes, daughters learn more about showing disrespect than respect.
♫ More seeds: Mom insists that children show respect for father, more than he earns or deserves. As with the military model, it’s rank and not holder that deserves the respect.
♫ Outside their love interests, women see far less need for mutual respect. Inside their love interests, self-respect is not nearly as meaningful. They can even love people they disrespect.
Being personal instead of task oriented, love lacks the organizational specificity that men appreciate and can enjoy. So, men default to the male dominance model: Husband as head of house.
If wife focuses on reinforcing his self-respect with the same fervor she seeks his greater attentions, affections, and appreciations, she can prevent or ease conflicts.