Few see this cause and effect: Modern men are not respected as they expect. Modern women are not treated as they want to be. The connection is direct. Like it or not, we all send messages about others as reflected against our own values, standards, and expectations.
☼ If we don’t respect a person, we pay less attention to how they feel, act, and treat us. Our beliefs about Self do not adjust to their judgments about us. We may even do the opposite, as children often do when they don’t respect parents.
☼ Now, shift to people that we respect. They believe something about us and treat us accordingly. Whether positive or negative, because we respect them, we come to believe it too, which then translates into us acting more as they expect.
☼ Proportionality works too. More respect for the person generates easier acceptances by us. Repetition tends to more easily change or reinforce our beliefs about ourselves—again, whether good or bad, positive or negative, liked or disliked.
☼ If we feel better or bigger about ourselves as result of input from others, our respect for them grows. If we feel less so, our respect wanes or disappears. In essence, their expectations for us are fed back to them as our expectations for them. Non-judgmental? Ha!
Unfortunately, feminists and political correctioneers have turned off the respect switch between genders. Propagandized females extend it to the micro level of individuals. Consequently, modern females live up to the expectations of feminist radicals and their ilk more than their man.
When women learn to accentuate the positive about respecting the male gender and especially their man, they will be treated more like they want to be treated. For example, women can’t expect men to act like gentlemen, if women don’t act like ladies FIRST.
I have noticed not just a decline in respect between the sexes, but a lack of interest, particularly in places where they mix the most: schools, colleges, the workplace. In the 1940′s and 40′s, the marriageable ages had a kind of spark between them, noticeable by the way their countenance and their clothing. Today you can walk around any campus and not detect that kind of interest. In fact, they are more blase’ toward one another. Instead of being at their best and vying for the best, there seems to be a who-cares attitude toward each other. It could be due, in part, to the lack of gender distinction in dress and manners, but it could also be the result of a lifetime of viewing one another with suspicion and disrespect. Obviously at that the mating age, they don’t seem to be looking for a mate. Feminism was designed to give women careers instead of families, and the view of many young women toward young men is that they may hinder them from that goal if they get interested in them. There is one country, (Austria?) where the inventer of the b.c.pill has publicly written that they need to get married and multiply so they won’t have to import their population from another country. Lack of respect between men and women will not multiply a population. There could be something going on behind the respect issue.
Princess Lydia,
You say, “There could be something going on behind the respect issue.” You’re so right. The following make modern society far different than the 1940s and 50s you so accurately describe:
• Females individually and gender-wise have lower self-esteem, weaker self-image, and confused self-interest.
• Females have adopted political theory and dogma that contradicts their female nature.
• Cheap and easy sex shifts sex from reward to bribe for men helping fulfill female hopes and dreams.
Guy
“…For example, women can’t expect men to act like gentlemen, if women don’t act like ladies FIRST…”
Guy, if this entire blog could be summed up into one sentance it would be the one above. I would venture to say that there very few people who think that respect, in and of itself is disposable. Even the most hardcore feminist would tell you that respect is a core value for her.
There are so many varying ideas about how it should be played out.
Some say:
“You have to give respect to get it.”
“You have to EARN respect.”
“Everyone deserves respect no matter what.”
“I only respect those who respect me.”
Here is the definition of respect, which we all could review, because I have observed that many
peopel think it is something that is emotion-based rather than principle-based. With regard to this discussion, I would recommend looking at definition number two. I think us women get it all mixed up when we get too caught up on definition numbers five or six.
re·spect·ed, re·spect·ing, re·spects
1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.
2. To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.
3. To relate or refer to; concern.
n.
4. A feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem. See Synonyms at regard.
5. The state of being regarded with honor or esteem.
6. Willingness to show consideration or appreciation.
7. respects Polite expressions of consideration or deference: pay one’s respects.
Your Prettiness,
Thanks, Miss Dawn. I struck gold again listening to you:
Unconditional respect like unconditional love is principle-based and dependent upon the giver. Conditional respect like conditional love is emotion-based and dependent upon the receiver.
I’m awestruck again at how clear the simple can be and vice versa. Thanks again, Miss Dawn.
Guy
Lydia I totally agree with you. The sexes don’t have any enthusiam for each other anymore…at least not where I live (big city in the US). Let me tell you, when I go abroad, men are so much more interested in the women (perhaps I have the exotic factor), and I am treated so much better….and the foreign men at the same time are so much easier to hold off…and they respect you for it and you can keep their attention much more easily. I hope things don’t go sour in other places as well.
Easybreezy: Friends in India tell me that feminism is hurting the culture there, and that it is harder to find a mate in a land where it was once the least of their worries. Sad, isn’t it? Some countries have abandoned traditional women’s clothing that was beautiful and enhancing, for so-called western wear, that isn’t attractive, doesn’t suit the climate and doesn’t make women feel good about themselves. There has to be something going on behind the scenes in the clothing situation, as well. How can the men be attracted to a future wife if her clothing is so drab. I wrote an article on this on my blog called “The deconstruction of Women’s clothing”, as well as another post telling women they don’t have to look that bad.
You’re welcome Guy.
I believe it’s the clothing—once women get out of certain colors like black for everyday in the spring and certain lines in clothes, respect for sexes may come back–i like lots of pastel for women myself. I’m seeing the sexes NOT engaging like they used to–maybe cause theyre ‘hooking up’–you dont see the guy with his arm over her shoulder in college, etc. My favorite styles were the ‘dior’ look of the 1950s, but modified, unless you want to wear a corset.