Before the sexual revolution, married women shaped society by dominating the culture. After the 1960s unmarried females enabled men to dominate the culture, and now the society works against females. She always has choices, however….
© Her Nature: She shapes their relationship to meet her expectations for fulfilling her hopes and dreams. Dating for other reasons wastes her time and his money. Is this current practice?
© His Nature: Dates using her money benefit him financially but weaken his emotional ties to her. If she’ll pay, she’ll play—his game, that is. Using his money adds value to her as person instead of sex object. Spending on her invests himself in her and her interests, as long as he doesn’t see it as cover charge for sex. This final point uplifts virtual virginity to best strategy and hardtoget as best tactic. Is this approach popular?
© Money: Wasting his money harms her reputation, but using hers weakens their relationship. Acknowledged by females?
© Look Alike: If she won’t yield sex, they shouldn’t spend her money. Her money works best when she handles it under the same principles as her chastity—as reward for giving up his independence in marriage rather than as bribe to stick around or settle down prematurely. Do women nowadays see it this way?
© Booty: Dateless sex makes her valuable for booty call but under his terms. Something may develop beyond conquest, but what stirs his interest about her beyond sex? Her money?
So the man should always pay. But let me ask you this- should he spend too much money on you…or what is ‘too much’? I have felt uncomfortable when a man tries to spend too much on me at fancy restaurants, dinners, gifts, etc (although gifts are rare these days). Also, what about trips—like bringing you home to meet parents- who pays for the ticket?
I always feel more comfortable when things are kept simple. Not saying I am a cheap date, but nowadays when men bascially expect sex for taking you out and paying for dinner, I much prefer lower budget options as the main source of day to day entertainment so that I won’t feel like I “owe” the guy anything. On the other hand, I have dumped guys who asked me to split the check.
Your Prettiness Easybreezy,
You’re my great ‘complexifier’. You keep us focused on realities. I can only validate all you say and do. But maybe I can add a tad of clarity for someone else:
• Yes, he should always pay—in principle. It makes you more valuable and him more worthy as he ‘invests’ in you. (Reality today says deviate from principle, but I can’t find a better answer than individual intuition.)
• If he won’t pay for both tickets to visit mom, he expects you to want to meet her more than he wants his mom to meet you. It means you’re less valuable than you think. If you volunteer to pay for your ticket, you send the message that you’re too eager and likely desperate.
• I heartily endorse your keeping things simple with lower budget options. If you suggest it, it adds value to you. First, it confuses him. Second, it convinces him you won’t break him if you marry.
• Spending too much on you is the same as too much after marriage. If it puts him in debt, it’s too much. (Not CC charges, but inability to keep them paid up with some savings left over.)
Your head’s screwed on right, and it’s always a delight to hear from you. Thanks for all your inputs.
Guy
Thanks for the feedback! This is great stuff and I wish more of my girlfriends would read this and start a revolution!!!
I went on a movie date and it was movies and ice cream! Perfect.
If a guy wants to do all the smoozy stuff from the get go- thats a red flag. especially when he knows that my class status is way lower than his.
“My love don’t cost a thing..” Well, maybe devotion…lool