As a man, I operate under these basic assumptions: A female’s sensibilities show the boundaries of her heart. When offended or threatened that way, she has gone too far and should reverse course wherever she is and whatever others are doing. To do otherwise is to program her heart against her self-interest and usually for the worse. Her internal sensitivities guide her better than anything else for remaining a strong, independent, and well-balanced female.
I learned this by observing generational trends among females. Over the past five decades girls converted their gender toward evermore masculine beliefs. They aborted female mystery, modesty, marriage, monogamy, and manners. They demeaned ladies and scorned gentlemanly behavior.
Each generation outdid the previous; they blew away well-established and female-protective sensitivities to open earlier and more expressive exposure to males. They freely gave away their uniqueness, attractiveness, and superior value as mates. They gave away the very influences that attract men and hold one man to one woman.
Girls led the way when they quit listening to mom and authority figures in the Sixties and took up listening to males. Adolescent values last for life, unless tempered with wisdom during formation. Consequently, women find themselves well into physical maturity but strapped with adolescent values about sex, dealing with men, and keeping a husband.
Females can get things back on track in the West by keeping our legs closed until the honeymoon. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a female protecting herself until a male proves himself worthy of her.
You need to go on the talk show/morning show circuit. Write a book. Something…… Most of the stuff on this blog is dead on.
Princess Allison,
Thank you. I love it when pretty women tell me such things.
As to talk shows and books, Nope. The former holds no interest, and the process discourages the latter. Thanks anyway; I love the compliment.
Guy
Thank you Sir Guy for giving this knowledge freely! I’m really grateful for what you have done for us.
[Your Highness Reina: I’ve taken the liberty of inserting bolded comments among your thoughts.]
How do I love your blog [How do I love your readershipness.]
Though, I am completely frustrated about relationships at the moment (happens every now and again).
Every single man I date like clockwork disappears at best, or gets enraged at worst once they figure out that they will have to marry me in order to have sex. Enraged because how dare I be so “closed minded” and “behind the times,” and try to “deprive them of something so enjoyable.” [Counterattack and put them on defense: “Will you be raising your daughters to NOT be closed minded and behind the times? Will you be promoting promiscuity for them? Enjoyable for whom? What have you done to earn my providing you something so enjoyable. Women exchange sex for manly devotion, and I see none from you. What makes you think I’m free? Take me, right now, to see your parents; I want to see what your upbringing was like. Oh, too far? Okay, let’s phone them so I can interrogate your mom about what she taught you.” Keep such men dancing on those thoughts until they bow to your superior wisdom, lie, or depart with your self-respect intact. Next day tell the sisterhood about what worked and what didn’t.] As if…I didn’t ask them not to do anything, I just said what I wasn’t going to do with them. Those types of guys can all exit stage left for all I care.
I’ve been on a string of dates lately, so it has been more of this than usual.
I would actually love an arranged marriage, but our society doesn’t have it. I know quite a lot of Indian people and it works out very well for them. Its not that you have no choice, so the term is a misnomer. Your relatives find good matches for you based on things that are important to you, especially in terms of marriage. You then decide if you want to marry based on that, or keep looking through potential suitors that are presented. [It’s based on this natural tendency of the sexes: Women can learn to love anyone they take care of; men can learn to provide/protect anyone who respects and shows need of them.]
We are the opposite. We “fall” in “love” and don’t screen first, then have all kinds of problems later. I like what a fellow blogger of yours says on her site, Choose intellectually and love afterward. [My note above explains why the latter is an ideal model.]
Problem is, there is an absolute dearth of decent men. Its really horrible, Guy. Their behavior is absolutely depraved and atrocious. [Plus, male behavior worsens, because new generations of girls expand it. You might plant seeds such as these: “You not only would not respect me in the morning, you don’t respect me now. If you can’t honor my wishes about not having sex, how can I expect you would honor me at all? Of course I expect to be honored; women measure a man’s devotion by how he honors her. Attitude reflects a person’s heart, and I could never sleep with a heart like yours. When your mother was young, how do you think she responded to the men in her life? Will your daughters someday seek out a man just like you?”]
The women are no better. A couple years ago, before my divorce was final, a man at church stopped me and asked me if I was married, then he saw my ring. He said he was looking for a friend in Southern Ca (about 5 hours away) who was looking for a wife. I asked why he wasn’t able to find some eligible women in a church closer to them, and was basically told he couldn’t find anyone.
I think I am going to have to step things up before I decide to close the door completely on marriage. I think I am just going to ask any interested men what church they go to as soon as they start to express an interest to filter most of what I am dealing with now out of the way. [You need to broadcast it among all your friends and acquaintances. Also, as soon as a man shows interest, invite him to church if he’ll pop for lunch. If he fails to respond with interest, turn off your ‘interest switch’. Be quick, adamant, unafraid, AND DIFFERENT FROM ALL OTHER WOMEN in appearance, approach, and appreciation.]
I’d rather have to filter through at least the self-professed “Christian men” and see which of those are real, rather than have to filter through all men in general and have to deal with too much uncertainty and a complete renovation project. [That’s good life management.] Goodness knows I have seen enough issues with the ones that claimed to be Christians, and that’s what actually sent me out into the general population to begin with. I think I can work better in the opposite direction, though.
Any ideas and thoughts you have on the matter are always appreciated.
They’ve been bolded in text above.
Guy
I feel for you Reina. I’m glad that as a Christian you are turning back to the Christian pool of men again…naturally you’ll have a slightly more compatable pool of men to choose from this way.
Your talk of arranged marriages reminded me that there are matchmaking services out there…so perhaps that’s something you might be interested in.
I agree with “Choose intellectually and love afterward”. Some dating experts even promote duty dating. Duty dating is when you go out with guys that ask you even if you aren’t initially attracted to them so you can give attraction a chance to blossom as you get to know them.
Those are my thoughts and looking forward to what the Maestro has to say as well.