I dedicate this series to Her Highness Sharon. She has a young friend whose professor makes unwanted sexual advances—and in seminary yet. To grapple with this problem, we need a baseline. So, I start with these assumptions:
- Hits fall into five categories that women immediately decide. Welcome, acceptable, tolerable, offensive, and so egregious that she’s inspired to take immediate action to restore her dignity, prevent recurrence, take revenge, or all three.
- This series deals with only the egregious, which means hits made by unwanted men or those unqualified or unworthy for her by sight. Women know how to handle other hits.
- As with all hits, the easy short route maximizes the female’s advantage. Handle it herself unless she seeks revenge.
- Call it harassment only if impossible to stop the offender or she seeks revenge. (Harassment claims serve the people processing them more than even a vengeful victim. The process does nothing to change the natural habits of uninvolved men except make them distrust females, suspicious of female motivations, and afraid to compliment women.)
- Excepting violence, females have the intrinsic talent and capability to make any man stop. Perhaps not the first instance, but the repeat performances remain in her hands unless she hollers harassment.
If one man offends egregiously, she can find a way to stop him. How to gain the tactical advantage starts tomorrow with post, 575.
Do you live next door to me or something?!?!
I’m going to call what I am going to talk about harrassment. On weekends and some weekdays I volunteer for a local humane society. During an adoption event, an older guy started coming up to me asking about this dog and that dog and if we had this breed or that breed. When he finally got to the point, (I knew he just wanted to know how far he could go with me) I told him that I was married. Didn’t matter to him because he kept coming around to the adoption events and finding me. Tons of other volunteers and he insisted on seeing me. Then he started following me in the parking lot while I was walking the dogs. In his car. This went on for a few weeks. More than once I told him I was married. One day I just lost it. I YELLED at him that I was married and to leave me alone. (I do carry a something on me. My husband insists on it) So he did. I was ready to use violence if he was willing to touch me. Do I regret how I handled it? No way. If a female says no, the male is to go away.
With all do respect the egregious men are the ones we try to NOT confront, hence the term harassment, their presence and mode of operands is to intimidate the female. There are streets in this country where a woman can and will be assaulted…even murdered for trying to stand up for herself against aggressive leering men. In NYC, Chicago and Washington DC it is called street harassment. Adult men and teenage boys harass females school (not college but middle school) age girls up to grown women, actually following them down the street up to an entire block if he or the group of males are ignored by the female.
I’m not exaggerating, young girls have been murdered for spurning a young males advances on the streets. Try typing in street harassment on your online search engine and see the results. You will find it is especially more intimidating and aggressive to females of color in urban areas.
You’re a older male with a lot of wisdom and experiences and a happy successful marriage under your belt. How about reaching out to the young males and not just addressing us females?
Pleeeeeaaaase be one of the male voices of authority young girls and women desperately need to hear for strength and protection, reproaching the antics of these males. Maybe the boys and males need guidance too so they can learn to respect themselves and then respect others.
By the way, I highly suggest you visit this website: http://artofmanliness.com/ It is one of the few websites I visit that gives me hope that there are still good men of my generation out there for a young woman like me.
Thank you.
Princess Trying2,
You’re welcome, and thanks for your clear and cogent input. You want me to include street harassment as unwanted sexual advances or hits. I call it crime and beyond my scope.
Also, I can’t change people. I inform women about men, their nature, and their likely response to female action and words. There’s no way that I could influence street thugs to do anything different. Only men of and in their subculture could do that, and as we sometimes see, they do it one on one. And yet, the problems continue and maybe worsen.
Men don’t correct males. Women do. Men behave the way they do in response to the way females treat and handle them. Mothers civilize boys by teaching right and wrong. (Fathers teach obedience.) Girls teach boys that females are vital to male interests. Unmarried women train men that females are equal. And wives domesticate husbands. Females thus shape cultural values and society, or males take over with their naturally competitive juices that lead to all manner of offenses toward females and children.
Guy
Thank you for clarifying. With hits becoming less frequent and harassment more common, it is easy to jump to the conclusion that they are both one and the same.