594. Desirable or Washed Up? — #4. Afterthought


Feminists taught females to mis-read men, ignore their nature, and stomp on their interests. So, men turned off to helping fulfill female hopes and dreams. Wives are most vulnerable.

Men compete endlessly, and wives much more than singles help them measure success and failure. Men want others to know they are winners and have won a valuable woman. It makes them appear top notch as competitors and raises their stature.

Wife’s appearance plays a vital role among husband’s competitors. It’s not what she thinks she looks like, it’s what men conclude from what they see. Femininity can’t be oversold.

·        When wife appears tastefully feminine and very classy, men judge her as desirable—and not just sexually. When she appears desirable as wife, men automatically respect husband. She need only stand out as upscale for the crowd or event she’s in. (Not overdressed, however.)

·        When she appears nice, neat, modest, carefully groomed as ultra-feminine, and clearly dependent on her man, other men conclude that she’s sexually unavailable. Respect for husband soars to admiration.

·        When men see her as desirable but unavailable, masculine envy elevates husband’s stature among men.

·        When she signals or suggests even minutely that she may be less than totally faithful, other men respect him less and admiration dies abruptly. Some will attempt to cuckold husband.

·        When she appears sloppy, unkempt, and carelessly groomed in public, male eyes conclude that she’s not attractive in the bedroom, not very available or willing, and especially not eager or joyful about husband’s lovemaking. They would not want to face her. Respect for husband wilts, because men conclude that he must have chosen poorly or lost the family dominance battle. Or, as my generation used to say, he can’t cut the mustard financially, sexually, or both. Admiration for him melts to nothing, and respect for him declines among men. Ugly attention to herself kills her attractiveness in more ways than one, and more easily than even ugly in person.

3 Comments

Filed under feminine

3 responses to “594. Desirable or Washed Up? — #4. Afterthought

  1. Katrinka

    Guy, thank you for the clear comments. I SO AGREE with your first paragraph. Feminists taught women to mis-read men. I remember a battle cry of the 70s was, “Since I can work for myself and provide for myself, I’m with you because I WANT to be, not because I need you to take care of me.” (Spoken by us liberated women.) It sounded so wonderful at the time, but now I see it strikes at the very core of what men are here to do for us wives and families.

    I think I am by nature a straightforward person and sometimes miss ‘signals’ sent by others. You sometimes have to hit me between the eyes with it before I get it! All the nuances of comments and body language mostly miss me. I’ve been married a long time and have tried to be more receptive about my husband’s comments (or non-comments). Like, ‘What do you have planned for supper?’ means, ‘I’m starving! When is chow?! Get in the kitchen!’ Of course, this is pretty obvious, just an example, but he is ultra super NOT straightforward . . . it’s all about what he’s NOT saying. Women have lost the ability to read the masculine male and to play successfully against it/with it. I have been frustrated many times because I can’t get a straight answer from him about something that is important to both of us. For many years I didn’t understand this. I’m still doing a lot of learning here.

    I also think it’s because he loves me and doesn’t want to come right out and say no, or that I can’t have something that I want. I’ve always sympathized with men who have a wife who won’t follow, because it’s easier to follow a man who won’t lead, than it is to lead a woman who won’t follow. What does he do? Anything he does only makes her more rebellious and makes him appear more ‘controlling’.

    Great stuff. Thanks again.

  2. Laura

    Thanks for this. For many years I bought into the message that I was unworthy – and my appearance reflected the conviction. Old photographs are heartbreaking as my depression and self-loathing are so visible.

    Four years ago I met a friend who brought healing to my heart, and especially in the past year and a half I’ve been discovering my feminine self. I’m far more careful of my appearance, not only in public but even when I’m alone at home. I’ve grown to love making up, wearing jewelry and perfume, skirts and tops, etc.

    Now I have a major battle with obesity to overcome. It won’t be simple because of some other health issues limiting my ability to exercise, but I’m determined to become my best self – for God, if there is no man found who will be good enough for me.

    (BTW, Guy – a few months ago I offered to report on “mirror time” as I’m letting my hair grow from a short and sassy hairstyle to something longer and more feminine. I don’t do much time in front of the mirror – I’ll soon be able to purchase an old-fashioned dressing table, which I expect will fulfill numerous oldfashioned ideas – but I can report that, even without a mirror, there is something about brushing longer hair that is very satisfying and affirming of the feminine self. It’s downright luxurious, now that my hair brushes the top of my shoulders, and I do it a couple times a day. Thanks for the heads-up!)

    Your Loveliness Laura,

    Congratulations on your progress. Also, I love it when pretty women tell me such things.

    I have a suggestion about weight loss: As emotionally as you can stir yourself, and as often as you can, as if dreaming, imagine yourself at desired weight but focus your imagination on lite fare, skinny-fying items of which you merely take a few bites. As if it’s the most proper and admirable thing in the world, imagine being ‘beautifully’ satisfied after a few bites.

    I keep repeating Einstein, but it’s so vital to improving life: “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” It can help weight loss as it helps your hair and mirror benefits.

    Guy

  3. Cocoa

    Hi again, these topics of men competing and respect to husband make a lot of sense to me. Men at church, work, relative and friends respects my husband and now I understand why. I believe most of it because of what’s stated above. However, there is something that is puzzling me:

    You stated that: “When men see her as desirable but unavailable, masculine envy elevates husband’s stature among men” ….If another man likes the wife, would he try out of this/his envy to undermine.the value of the husband to this wife eyes. Would he try (indirectly) to make the wife feel as her husband is not worthy of her?

    I hope my mumbling makes some sense.

    Your Highness Cocoa,
    Of course a man would do such a thing. It’s called coveting in the Bible and disrespect for both you and husband. However, I would add this. It may not be deliberate but habit from a life of chasing women. I suggest you steer clear of him.
    Guy

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s