603. Prettier is as Feminine Does #1


Her Highness Laura commented at 596 that women are more critical than men about ‘pretty’. She’s right, because prettiness is a theme around which women compete—and they should. (Post 602 presented groundwork on ‘pretty’.)

‘Feminine’ is whatever females have, do, and use that is unique to their sex and nature. To the extent they appear different than what men have, do, and use, they are feminine.

·        Consequently, females are basically pretty even before they improve on what they have for appearance.

·        The more feminine she is, the easier to be pretty. After all, she’s the best judge of what’s both feminine and pretty for her.

‘Pretty’ is how she looks to herself. She’s done her best to attire and groom herself. Her physical attributes shine and physical weaknesses go unnoticed to her.

·        If she can overlook her physical weaknesses, no one else will pay attention to them. (Again, hang a picture and three days later you don’t notice it.)

·        Modesty hides skin and suggests independence, mystery, moral intentions (if not strength), and person-comes-before-sex.   

·        She should shape male opinions, not bow to them. ‘Pretty’ beats ‘sex object’ for turning male opinion toward female hopes and dreams. Her Highness Easybreezy describes it magnificently at post 550, “I have turned heads but I really want to turn hearts….”

·        When she looks pretty to herself, she feels good about herself. This brings forth her best, which maximizes her advantages dealing with men or man.

On the macro scale, women compete to look prettier than sister females. If they don’t, men do less chasing. If women aren’t pretty enough to pull men away from fun with their buds, men watch and wait.

They tend to pursue fun, sex, and little else. This pressures individual females to earn masculine attentions. It leads to more women chasing men in macro, which is toxic for fulfilling female hopes and dreams in micro.

12 Comments

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12 responses to “603. Prettier is as Feminine Does #1

  1. Katrinka

    Guy, there are several great points in this post. Such as, ‘females are basically pretty even before they improve on what they have’. While recently shopping at a discount store, my daughter and I encountered a couple of homosexual men. Their overdone walk, talk, and hand movements, etc. prompted me to ask her, “Aren’t you glad you don’t have to work so hard to be feminine? All you have to do is just be you!”

    ‘If she can overlook her physical weaknesses, no one else will pay attention to them’. I’m so glad you mentioned this, because I’ve been tempted a couple times to mention a phenomenon I have personally experienced, but it didn’t seem to fit in with the discussion. Sometimes I will meet a truly unattractive person, maybe what you’d call really ugly! I’m initially a little repulsed, but over time if I get to know that person and appreciate them, I get to the point that I look back and think to myself, “How could I ever have thought that person was ugly?” They’ve grown truly beautiful to me. So maybe you all won’t think I’m too bad, I can say this hasn’t happened for quite a few years, but I think that’s due to Christ renewing my mind, not the increased ‘beauty’ of those around me.

    ‘When she looks pretty to herself, she feels good about herself.’ I think my daughter looks gorgeous no matter what she wears, but she disagrees! On Saturday she brought 2 outfits out to show me, one which I really like and another which she liked better. When she was modeling the one I liked, I said, “You don’t like that outfit do you?” And she said no. I could tell by her walk and attitude.

    ‘She should shape male opinions, not bow to them’. My daughter once dated a young man who didn’t like the fragrance of vanilla, supposedly due to an unpleasant encounter with another young lady. I liked vanilla scented candles and while burning one one day when her young man was to visit, she mentioned her friend’s dislike of the fragrance. I told her that we were not going to allow his negative opinions shape who we were, but were going to help him associate pleasant things with the fragrance of vanilla.

    I appreicate your blog, because you certainly seem to articulate the male/female interactions. When I was a young woman, it seems to have been so much simpler to pair off and marry. Everyone understood their roles and pretty much understood the rules of the game, without having to think so much about the specifics. It was all geared ultimately around finding the right person and marrying, and guys acted like guys and girls acted like girls, and I don’t think anyone had to tell them how to do it too often.

    The influence of feminism on the young men of today concerns me, especially those young men raised by feminists or influenced by feministic thinking in school and inthe workforce. Your comments encourage me to believe that men will still be men, regardless of the politically correct surroundings they are raised in.

    • dogsandfitness

      “When I was a young woman, it seems to have been so much simpler to pair off and marry. Everyone understood their roles and pretty much understood the rules of the game, without having to think so much about the specifics. It was all geared ultimately around finding the right person and marrying, and guys acted like guys and girls acted like girls, and I don’t think anyone had to tell them how to do it too often.”

      You had it good! No one had to pretend or fake anything to get someone of the opposite sex to like them.

  2. Denise

    “When I was a young woman, it seems to have been so much simpler to pair off and marry. Everyone understood their roles and pretty much understood the rules of the game, without having to think so much about the specifics. It was all geared ultimately around finding the right person and marrying, and guys acted like guys and girls acted like girls, and I don’t think anyone had to tell them how to do it too often.”

    That paragraph was well said. I tried to post this earlier, but my computer jammed up. Came back to visit, to find someone else had done it for me.
    Again. Well said. Things are very different now, and oh so complicated!

  3. Miss Dawn

    “…..She should shape male opinions, not bow to them….”

    Well said my freind!!!!!!!
    :)

  4. Katrinka

    Denise and dogsandfitness, I don’t think I would be prompted to so often think about the differences between yesteryear and now if we didn’t have a daughter in her early 20s struggling with the dating/marrying scene of today. We were a little bewildered when our daughter came of an age that we assumed young men would be pounding down our door, and discovered a different situation occurring. The best way I can describe most of the young men she has encountered is that they are simply apathetic about the pursuit.

    Perhaps the feministic mindsent has spoiled things for girls by flooding the market with easy sex. I believe God is in control of things for her and for other young people; however, I am REALLY sympathetic to both sexes today when it comes to finding a suitable marriage partner.

    I like Guy’s blog because I feel like he’s doing something about changing attitudes among the ladies, and I think the ladies are the first ones to make the difference.

    dogsandfitness, I would like to say something encouraging to you about feeling like you have to fake who you are to get someone to like you, but I know the struggle you’re talking about. Glib answers don’t help much. However, you know, sometimes you find a kindred spirit or a soul mate in the place you least expect it. It’s such a surprise when it happens and that’s my prayer for you.

    • dogsandfitness

      “dogsandfitness, I would like to say something encouraging to you about feeling like you have to fake who you are to get someone to like you, but I know the struggle you’re talking about. Glib answers don’t help much. However, you know, sometimes you find a kindred spirit or a soul mate in the place you least expect it. It’s such a surprise when it happens and that’s my prayer for you.”

      Oh, I am already married ;) What I mean is from the inside looking out I see many women trying to be who they are naturally not. Sleeping around, pursuing guys, shacking up, looking like guys, and so on. It’s not what we are! We are supposed to be the opposite of them :) I even go as far as to say that I would be bored to death if I was a guy.

      • Katrinka

        Oops! OK, I gotcha. Much of what we did as females years ago was done without much conscious design or thought, for the most part. It kinda ‘came naturally’. Which, as you point out, today’s behavior by women doesn’t. But they still end up wanting the same things and then wonder why they don’t have them. Getting married isn’t the end, it’s really the beginning.

  5. Kelsie

    Sir Guy, your blog has made me so much more appreciative of my femininity!! For the first time since I was a toddler I randomly wore a dress one day. I would never wear dresses (or skirts for that matter) fearing that it would draw all this unwanted male attention (the wrong kind) and because I never wanted to look overdressed for any occasion. But I did. And I felt good about it! The attention you get when you wear a dress + put modesty in effect is a wonderful balance. The thanks is all owed to you. I now enjoying wearing skirts and dresses to events besides where one is required. Many thanks!!

    Your Loveliness Kelsie,
    I love it when pretty women discover how modesty produces riches.
    Guy

  6. tryin2understandurside

    Thanks to all the women who replied today. I don’t know if it’s my generation or the writing style but sometimes I just don’t understand the post. When you reply with examples from your lives it helps me.

    I am in my early 30’s, a professional with a graduate degree and my own home. It does appear that men now are more apathetic than what I’ve heard from older adults, seen in older movies and music.

    HOWEVER, I have taken heed to this post and have become less “sexy” and more feminine/modest in the past few months. Well it’s become like a honey attracting bees.

    thanks

    Your Princessness Tryin2understandurside,
    I too am grateful to the pretty ladies that add so much real world experience. Borrowing another lady’s analogy, they add color to this black and white blog.
    Guy

  7. Katrinka

    tryin2understandurside, thank you so much for that comment regarding the response you’ve had with ‘pretty vs. sexy’. That is so very encouraging! I know what you mean about having difficulty understanding what’s being said . . . we get confused sometimes, too. It’s like, ‘I can’t tell, is that a good thing or a bad thing?’ I am pretty new here, and I think there is a style or nuance or something. When I get time I think I will read back through some of the older posts and that will probably help. Also, I think it’s good to ask, because maybe Guy can clarify something that others are misunderstanding, too.

    Your Ladyship Katrinka,
    Ask away, ladies. Clarity is my objective but not my strong suit.
    Guy

  8. Jodi

    I have a question, when you talk about women competing how does this apply to married women? I’ve been to places where all the women employees look the same and they probley don’t even notice!

    Your Dreamliness Jodi,
    As to women employees looking the same, credit two things: If they are dressed attractively, credit good management and high standards and expectations. If sloppily attired, then credit sloppy management. On top of meeting whatever managerial expectations exist, credit the natural inclination of females to easily mold themselves into a homogenous group subculture when not out to impress men or a man. (Throw a good looking new man into the workplace of women looking alike, and you’ll probably see even some married women rise to the challenge by altering their appearance so as to stand out.)
    Guy

  9. Sharmain

    Kelsie really picked up on something which matches my experience. Like most girls I always used to wear trousers – but then I got a new job where I had to wear a skirt. I expect to loathe and resent it – but I was amazed at how different I felt. It wasn’t that I looked smart, I felt somehow softer, demure and feminine and perhaps a bit vulnerable in a nice sort of way.
    I’m still so grateful to that company’s dress code for helping me.
    But I wonder how many of us are losing out too? One friend told me she was a bit envious of me working somewhere where we had to wear skirts. She admitted she felt guilt about not taking her appearance seriously and would have loved to start wearing skirts more – but said that if she did she would have stood out too much as it wasn’t cool to wear a skirt.

    Your Highness Sharmain,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
    Guy

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