635. She’s Interested, He’s Not—Part 1 of 3


Modern guys are infamous for dealing poorly with women that show an interest in a man. Passivity, reluctance, or disinterest dealing with a woman can originate with many emotions and preferences. The first half-dozen reasons follow.

♦       Men can’t love what they don’t respect. Lack of immediate respect caused by her appearance means that she has little or nothing to offer him. She’s probably okay for sex, he thinks, so let her make the first moves.

♦       Sex is so cheap elsewhere that he sees little need to show interest.  Anyway, men score better by playing vague and unavailable, because modern women don’t play the female counter-strategy their foremothers developed long ago: HardToGet.

♦       He’s picky, non-adventurous, or too uncomfortable away from his hi-tech toys.

♦       If her interest is obvious, it turns him off except for sex. If she’s that interested in his undeserving Self even before he ‘launches’ his full-self into romancing her, what will she do with other men who do nothing?

♦       More fear: Is she really interested in me? Can I trust what I think I perceive from her? Her appearance and actions don’t match. He presumes she has standards. He’s unsure how to discover what they are, so he fears offending her or showing his own lack of ‘smooth’.

♦       Commitment to another woman won’t prevent a show of interest but will come out if and when his conscience kicks in. This can take seconds, minutes, hours, or days, if he has a conscience about loyalty, devotion, personal responsibility.

Part 2 day after tomorrow.

4 Comments

Filed under sex differences

4 responses to “635. She’s Interested, He’s Not—Part 1 of 3

  1. easybreezy

    I feel that passivity and reluctance among men dealing with women is largely an American problem because I generally never had this problem with men from Europe and other cultures.

    Your Highness Easybreezy,
    Yes, you made that point months ago. Thanks.
    As I recall, you thought European men more easy to deal with on the social scene, but do they also rank as better men for women to capture and marry? Just curious.
    (Incidentally, you’ve been gone or silent for many weeks until this week. Good to have you back, and I hope nothing was wrong.)
    Guy

  2. easybreezy

    Hey Guy-

    Yes I stepped out for a while—its been super busy for me but I’m always lurking. As for the Euros- no not all of them are marriage material but many of them (especially Scandianvians and Italians- observed through friends who married them) are especially family oriented. Finding a believer, however, is like a 1% chance, sadly.

  3. boomer babe

    It’s because the church is very weak in Europe and it’s ran mostly by women in high places in the church and most men think the church is for old men. St Paul said that ‘it isn’t good for women to teach men like men teach women’ true feminity teaches men though, if we allow it. American men have been hit by the feminists. Our male politicians have been ran by their wives. Thats why they’re soo wussy

  4. Krysie869

    Hi Sir Guy!

    1. How do you recommend women behave around shy guys? 2. Do you think they are capable of living successfully with a woman?

    3. I read your first bullet point, so if a man lacks respect for a woman he just met or sees for the first time, is her unkempt appearance or ugly facial features (at least in accordance to his standards) a primary reason? For example, in his behavior he makes up his face in a mean way and stares at her. 4. Is he thinking of only having sex with her and nothing else? I am guessing these men lack unconditional respect for others.

    5. Additionally, why would a man seem confident to approach a particular woman he finds attractive and then with another he is unconfident, at least to the point of being shy? 6. Is her personality to blame? Or is it something else?

    Your Highness Krysie869,

    I numbered your questions so responses match.

    1. Exactly the same as with other guys except with a tad more open friendliness. To act differently is to be phony, and men read insincerity pretty well. Especially shy men who take time to be sensitive to such things.

    2. They make better husbands than shack ups. But only with wives that have the patience and indirectness to respectfully pull his feelings and druthers out of him in ways that he appreciates.

    3. Of course her appearance is everything. First impressions and all that.

    4. Unless he’s immediately into latching up with her for her own sake, he’s always thinking about sex as far as her thinking is concerned. Unless you see evidence to the contrary, always think that men do not respect people unconditionally. Perhaps the female gender if trained that way in childhood. But for women who ‘calculate’ their positions and chances, individuals have to earn each man’s respect.

    5. It depends totally on his objective and how he reads her for what will probably work best for him. It’s more his instinct/intuition in reaction to the personality he thinks he perceives. So, her personality can’t be blamed, unless she gets the same reaction from all guys.

    Guy

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