Her Highness Easybreezy prompted this article by wondering at post #439: “So how much better was it ‘back then’?” She referred to women upholding virtue many years ago.
ONCE UPON A TIME
Those American centuries and decades before the 1960s seem strange to young females. They’ve imbibed so much feminist propaganda.
Female virtue indirectly enabled wives to run up a string of cultural victories for women. Our foremothers followed the spirit of abstinence without marriage, which influenced our forefathers to develop better character. Men had to earn and qualify for a woman’s hand, even after progress removed fathers from the process. Consequently, having to prove themselves worthy, men made better husbands and fathers.
Wives stressed family-friendly political, legal, and social norms and improvements. Wives influenced husbands to produce in the workplace societal improvements that evolved into family-friendly cultural values. Some examples of societal pressures that men would not produce without female influence:
- Virtue completes a female, and character completes a man. (The presence of both laid the foundation for marital success.)
- Personal responsibility comes first. (This kept fathers closer to wife and children.)
- Maturity was identified with rational thought that trumped adolescent feelings, which we see today in popularity and celebrity worship. (Few people carried adolescent values into adulthood, because parents taught by example how mature adults act.)
- The opposite gender was respected more than one’s own gender. (This generated mutual dependence between the sexes.)
- Gender interdependency promoted marriage as the prime institution and most people married. (Singles contributed little except for school teachers, and they mostly supported existing social mores and cultural values.)
- Great faith existed for fellow Americans. Respect was due everyone, and they had it until they lost it. To a lesser extent, trust was likewise. (This generated equality of respect and unified people, which glorified Americanism.)
- Everybody tended to mind his own business. (This contrasts sharply with today’s ‘I want to make a difference’. Unsaid, it usually means ‘I want to change others, but I don’t have to change.’ This invariably boils down to telling others how to live.)
These cultural results flowed from female virtue, which inspired better manly character, which changed society, and which slowly structured the American culture with ever stronger family-friendly priorities and values.
My thoughts,
Positives-Less Divorce, less latch key kids, less obesity (although I don’t think it’s as horrible as we’re lead to believe), less drug and alcohol problems, less people addicted to porn and countless other negative things, less depression and other phobias and disorders (I think), less teen pregnancy, less abortion, less rape(?)less mass murderings in school and other public places.
Negatives-racial discrimination, women who were forced to work were not paid well. No internet.
Racism never would have existed if females have never put up with it. If a male shows the **slightest** bit of being racist, females should shun him. Us just being around racist males will mean that we approve of it. Racism literally breeds racism. Breed with a racist male, racism will continue.
No internet? Sometimes I think that is actually a plus. Males will have a exponentially harder time getting their hands on porn. That will force them to face public shame if they go to red light districts. The only other alternative for males would be to treat women like human beings, not like efftoys, provided we don’t presents ourselves as such.
The pay thing, I got nothing. Gender is no logical reason for pay inequity.
A very good point you made about racism. Racist talk makes my blood run cold. If I accept that kind of talk, I’m perpetuating the problem.
Yes regarding the internet. You’re right, it’s a mixed bag. I can’t imagine life without it and yet, I’m sure that more men (perhaps women too) than ever are addicted to p*rn now-even those that aren’t addicted are affected by it-it’s changing our culture in a bad way.
I know there is still discrimination in the workplace against women-I’ve experienced it and been aware of it many time. I will say though that in some situations it is advantageous to be a woman. Depends on the situation.
I sent you another quick note, btw.
How far we (society in general) have come….
“Everybody tended to mind his own business …” – interesting and enlightening observation! I have a great Longfellow quote that helps me stay focused on myself and try not to change others: “Most people would succeed in small things if they were not troubled with great ambitions.” This said from a very famous and wealthy writer! But he recognized the value of success at the personal/home level as integral to public success. Maybe this distinction is the root cause of much depression and modern unhappiness. Thank you, Guy and Mrs. Guy.
Less crime and less chance of society’s cockroaches meeting the barrel of my Remington.
This is great. Someone just told me the other day that I was born in the wrong era. I’ve been thinking that for quite some time!
OH PLEEEASSE EVERYONE!!!
I have been doing research for a book I’d like to write- tracing the African-American womens plight from the Africa to Slave to emancipation to Jim crow to the present day in the context of exactly what this blog talks about.
The thing is- while the white woman was a housewife- guess who came to clean her home and wash her floors and laundry?
Women of color. I’m sure not exclusivly black but since that is my point of focus, thats how I shall frame my point.
Where black women married in higher numbers pre-60′s? Yes, but still at a much lower rate than white women.
Also, due to the legacy of the founding of this country, black men never really had a chance to play the breadwinner role so that the black woman – could assume firmly the role of wife and mother without having to work.
Since the black man could not find work, and the black woman was paid little to nothing- it explans the state of where things are today.
Yes, i know this is a rough generalization, but I’m on to something.
The fact is that While I don’t deny all the virtues of femininity, I am most interested in how this playes out racially.
As far as women not putting up with racism from men, how could they defy the one who took care of them? This is where I think Guys, narrow view of how life was “Leave it to Beaver” pre-60′s.. Hmmm… When was the last tiem any of you saw a black “girl next door” or a black 50′s housewife in the cute little apron?
With 70% of black women who will never marry in this country-
And I’m not talking about to just black men- But ANY men.
Black women are disadvantaged in the area of learning femininity. I see it everyday here in the inner city. It breaks my heart. even for myself- If virtue and femininity means that your hands are smooth as silk… what happens to a woman when she MUST work for her life?
When because she is poor she isnt able to fix herself up?
I just wish more men understod the realities of women today. We don’t dance around in circles liek the three Graces…
The darker and more poor the woman the greater her sacrafice of femininity will be- all in the name of survival.
How to circumvent this in order to snag a good man is the question at hand….
You may be interested in this article that looks at some of the same things. In part it says, “In 1960, only 28 percent of black females between the ages of 15 and 44 were never married. Today, it’s 56 percent. In 1940, the illegitimacy rate among blacks was 19 percent, in 1960, 22 percent, and today, it’s 70 percent. Some argue that the state of the black family is the result of the legacy of slavery, discrimination and poverty. That has to be nonsense. A study of 1880 family structure in Philadelphia shows that three-quarters of black families were nuclear families, comprised of two parents and children. In New York City in 1925, 85 percent of kin-related black households had two parents. In fact, according to Herbert Gutman in “The Black Family in Slavery and Freedom: 1750-1925,” “Five in six children under the age of 6 lived with both parents.” Therefore, if one argues that what we see today is a result of a legacy of slavery, discrimination and poverty, what’s the explanation for stronger black families at a time much closer to slavery — a time of much greater discrimination and of much greater poverty? I think that a good part of the answer is there were no welfare and Great Society programs. “
Hi kathy! Thank you so much for this……!!!!!
i need all the info io can get! Awsome
A good book to read is Having Our Say by the Delaney sisters (they were black sisters aged around 100 who were interviewed for the book). They grew up in the deep South in a family of 11 children and experienced discrimination at every level…yet the upbringing of their parents, the emphasis on personal responsibility etc. enabled these women to become Dentists and award winning teachers….every one of the Delaneys accomplished great things in spite of discrimination. Their parents taught them to have a higher standard than those who expected them to fail. Raised poor, black and Southern with no excuses and two parents they adored as well as a deep faith in God. They were career women even when white women weren’t!
Oh My New Friend Miss Dawn,
It makes me sad that you picture most white families in the US as having had black slaves. It’s just not true. Not only that but there were many white slaves too in the US but it’s rarely talked about. (Yes, whites were better able to assimilate after being freed).
http://www.scoilgaeilge.org/academics/slaves.htm
At this point in time, I think for most of us, our futures depend a lot on our attitudes. We won the lottery when were were born in the United States and there’s a lot of opportunity here. Even the poor among us, for the most part, have a high standard of living compared to the rest of the world. When I see what’s possible here, I just can’t play the victim. It doesn’t serve me.