Mutual happiness flows out of interactions that she controls, or at least she’s the major initiator.
Actions generate gratefulness, which generates happiness. Working backward, her happiness flows from her gratitude for who he is and what he does, from what she gains by partnering with him. Her gratitude arises from actions that demonstrate her gratefulness, because feelings follow actions. Three cautions:
If she fails to act gratefully for him and his efforts, her attitude of gratitude will not arise and happiness will likely elude her.
If she’s ungrateful for him, the possibility of happiness with him recedes accordingly.
And most importantly, however she expresses her gratitude, he will never perceive it as intensely, broad, deep, and generous as she views it.
He doesn’t look for her gratefulness per se, he looks first for her respect and then her appreciation. Without the former, the latter become meaningless.
He doesn’t pay enough direct attention to fully recognize her gratefulness. She will easily feel shortchanged, if she expects comparable recognition for showing her gratitude. It’s another indirect penalty that females pay to keep a man.
More about him tomorrow.
NOTE: This series has turned far more complex than originally expected. I’ve planted confusion and encourage you to ask questions to help me clarify it. Two more articles coming in the series.