Self-image is the mental picture she has of herself and how she lives and fits in the world around her. Self-image in concert with self-esteem and self-interest governs the functioning of one’s subconscious mind.
I call it a mental picture, but it’s more a screen made up of pixels* about one’s opinions, beliefs, and convictions. A few examples of pixels follow for one female:
· I’m a poor housekeeper, so I don’t want to stay home when I have a family.
· My hair is ugly but face and body make up for it.
· I need to lose weight, but who cares?
· I’m a good cook. If a guy doesn’t like me for that, he won’t like me for anything else but sex.
· I don’t need a man but sure would like one before I turn 25. And I will by age 30, even if I can’t find Mr. Right.
· I want three babies, but only if delivered by age 30.
· I’m a good driver but could never learn to fly. Don’t even want to.
· Punctuality puts too much pressure on me. Let others wait.
· I can’t stand phonies and avoid self-absorbed people.
· My career comes before husband.
· Being alone doesn’t bother me, but loneliness does. I’m still mixed up about the difference and what it means for me.
This example list could go on forever, because everybody has a unique and complex array of pixels that combine to make up their view of Self and their place and arrangement in the world.
Self-image continues tomorrow.
* Pixel: A tiny dot of light that is the basic unit from which computer and TV screens are made and through which pictures are built.
3 Comments
10/29/2009 at 7:41 pm
Very clever and great examples… Thanks for all your work dear Sir Guy.
11/02/2009 at 10:38 pm
hi Guy,
i’m glad you chose this topic as it’s very relevant. how does one grow self-esteem despite never feeling quite good enough? this has been my latest dilemma.. on the one hand i’m perfectly content with myself.. but on the other, i’m undisciplined, poor housekeeper, overweight, get mediocre grades at school.. i dont know if my husband loves me, loves me out of pity, or loves me out of necessity..
u see? i’ve thought of ending my relationship many times.. but i stop to think.. is there something truly wrong, or do i think myself unworthy of someone else’s love?
I wish i could quiet the negativity in my mind, and focus on my goals, what i can do, all that is available to me, but instead self-doubt and low self-esteem maintain a tight grip on me- whether it’s the number on the scale, my dreaded B’s at school.. or never feeling like things are quite right in my marriage..i can never reach the nirvana of my goals.
my problem is a stable chaos.. things are always predictably just enough out-of-control, unsatisfactory, regardless of how hard i try. And often, I settle.. settle for the way things are.. and am content.. although i know i can have more and be more..
Your Princesstial Highness Hope,
Sorry for the delay, but serendipity arrived with a better answer than I envisioned.
While considering how to respond, my wife had surgery and I found and read a book at the hospital. I recommend it to you, because it perfectly addresses the “negativity in my mind” that you mention.
Try Bob Phillips’ book “Overcoming Anxiety & Depression—Practical Tools to Help You Deal with Negative Emotions” I bought paperback for $12. It excellently describes your dilemmas and escape from them.
Guy
11/12/2009 at 7:18 pm
Dear Guy,
Thank you for thinking of me and recommending the book. I will seek out the answers.
I hope your wife is doing well and that you all are ok!