733. Response to Viewer — Item 19

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Her Highness LoveLikeNoOther asked how to get, cultivate, and display ‘inner beauty’ such that a man stays attracted for the long haul and into marriage. Consider these things and use what makes sense.

‘Inner beauty’ is not so much what she has as what he perceives. She’s challenged to expose her inner self such that he at least perceives her qualifications for becoming his wife.

Anything about her that makes him grateful probably puts her on the right track. Keep in mind, though, men don’t express their gratefulness to the same degree as females. So, he’s easy to misread.

A man’s primal need ranks at the top of his expectations for a wife: It’s a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for his battles tomorrow. Dodge that, and her inner beauty may sour before it can sweeten.

He expects her to see and agree with him about who he is and what he does. His sense of significance ranks as more important in his world than hers. If she tries to reverse it, she weakens her inner beauty.

Except for sex and delaying conquest, she should wait until deep within courtship to disclose anything that would compete with his dreams, interests, and personal ambitions. This requires the ability to accept defeats and treat victories with the same face, but this serendipitously generates greater mystery about her.

Waiting until deep within courtship to ‘unveil’ her total self guarantees nothing. However, it generates more time for him to be exposed to her desirable qualities, admirable character, and likeability as mate.

Certain relationship issues cause mental conflict in men and consequently disturb a woman’s inner beauty:

·         Cheap and easy sex qualifies her for temporary relationships, but it makes marriage questionable for him.

·         Codependency stretches a normal relationship out of shape and unbalances how each one views the other.

·         Her independence during courtship earns a man’s respect. And, a man’s love is based on respect. (Her dependence after marriage earns his respect.)

·         Respect for him and gratitude for who he is or what he does, all shown regularly, are essential for his staying around.

·         Her claims to personal virtue coupled with low standards about her sexual habits call her honesty into question and weaken admiration for her character.

·         Her feminine virtues, emboldened by strong streaks of independence in courtship, confirm her candidacy for lifetime marriage.

These are a few of the flags that signify the presence or absence of inner beauty in females. I’ve not mentioned the many blessings that the bible describes so readily and clearly.

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Tags: conquest, courtship, his significance, inner beauty, his respect, codependency, his primal need, qualifications for wife