Her Highness Abigail prompted this article. At post #751 she commented: “…your writing makes me feel like women have a very bad deal. Surely men aren’t all as selfish as you make them sound!”
Of course men are not. WhatWomenNeverHear describes the potential that men have for making women happy or miserable, and how women can prevent, avoid, or cure it. How I describe men generally has little connection to specific traits of an individual. Across an array of characteristics, every man appears differently.
However, I point out these realities about selfish/unselfish:
- Selfishness emerges naturally. Learned behavior suppresses it as disadvantageous to one’s self-interest.
- Women promote unselfishness, because it helps bond relationships. Men have much less interest, because they are more individualistic.
- Women see unselfishness as critical to relationship harmony, and so they teach children to adopt it. They also measure the offensiveness of male selfishness by relationship standards.
- Men see far less practical use for stabilizing relationships, so they differ from females about selfish/unselfish issues. Not saying it’s fair, or that selfishness is justified. It’s just human nature in action with different sexes involved.
- We’re all born selfish. Mothers are the primary instrument by which selfishness is ‘untaught’ in childhood. Girls grasp and more easily embed it in their subconscious. Boys require more diligent programming to become generally unselfish as part of their consciousness.
- Whether a man has conquered a female or not plays a major part within a couple’s relationship. After their first sex together, he may show a level of selfishness that surprises her.
- After puberty, boys’ selfish/unselfish behavior relates to whoever else is involved. Consequently, chaste girls have considerable influence in conveying the merits of unselfishness to teen boys. Chaste single women have similar influence with men.
- Players prey on females that don’t pay much attention to masculine self-centeredness about sex. Consequently, players learn that selfishness pays off. When they marry, it’s tough for wife to accept it and tough for him to change.
Paraphrasing Forrest Gump, Selfish is as selfish does. In the end, everyone has something about which they are selfish. Adult men and women tend to be as selfish/unselfish as their self-interest guides them.