This continues yesterday’s list about women depending on, using, and exploiting men in society and around the house. It’s not a How To list. It’s intended to deepen understanding of the female nature when balancing self-interest with that of a man.
In addition to the pointers in yesterday’s post #775:
· She fascinates her man with indirectness and feminine charm in order to overcome masculine or husbandly resistance to her way of valuing things. Success breeds more success, so she focuses on what works for her rather than his shortcomings.
· She exploits femininity to the fullest. She knows that it adds pleasure to her man’s life, even though he always takes it and often her for granted. (About being taken for granted, also see The Invisible Woman video at post # 764.)
· When tinkering in or around her man’s masculine domain, she treads lightly and inoffensively so as to stir no competition between them. For example, cleanliness of his hobby-space or workshop is none of her business. She fosters improvement by making him feel good about himself, and he makes improvements to please him more than her.
· She knows about and practices the art of self-fulfilling prophecy rather than disclosing her husband’s faults. He lives up better to her expectations, when he lives under her approvals, endorsements, and supportive spirit. (Admittedly, the process works indirectly and slowly; patience serves her.)
· She leads by example to improve the character of those around her. She exemplifies living up to something bigger than herself and overcomes obstacles with gracious self-confidence. Others want to emulate her optimism and sense of well-being. (It’s not so much her nature to be this way; women learn they can thus bring out the best side of others, which brightens their world and especially the home.)
· She’s no limp rag to a man’s domineering inclination. She vigorously defends her self-respect and does it fearlessly the first time a man challenges it.
· Value to wife comes more from what she earns than what’s she’s given. She needs to be given things. But they are symbols and not the essence of wifely happiness, which comes from eagerly and sincerely serving her family.
· She knows she can’t win every battle, and especially those that husband latches onto with tightened jaws.
· Finally, she knows that if he gives in to her demands too much, she will lose respect for him. So, she draws a line in her own behavior to avoid going too far.
When she manipulates, she works against her long range interests to favor the short term. It works for some women, but they aren’t respectable, when people recognize it.
Chapter 6 tomorrow brings out the masculine side.
I would be interested in having more insight concerning paragraph five above; leading by example is obviously mucho-important for women to learn, but where and who are the specific examples 21st-century women have to emulate? Or how can one go about evaluating possible sources as the Sort of Truth to cultivate these “blessings” you speak of? As you say, it is not so much in her Nature, but learning is definitely possible. I know, for instance, that I personally have trouble cultivating optimism at times (especially when my husband likewise lacks it), and though I study both women and men’s examples throughout history, and follow blogs etc. on the internet, they tend to end tragically, returning me to my predicament.
Mayhap it is time to cue the entrance of your help-meet!
Your Exceptionalness Zephanie,
You ask: “[W]here and who are the specific examples [that] 21st-century women have to emulate?” Answer: Any of your elders that exhibit optimism and self-confidence of who and what they are as females. They’re energized by living up to something bigger or higher than themselves, usually God I betcha, so they might help you with the same.
You say: “…[T]hough I study both women and men’s examples throughout history, and follow blogs etc. on the internet, they tend to end tragically, returning me to my predicament.” This happens because you look outside yourself for what’s right and wrong, fashionable and unfashionable, acceptable and unacceptable. Your heart can guide you in such matters, if you but let it. If you seek perfection, or if you don’t make a few mistakes, you’ll never determine what the ideal is for you and your role in this world.
You may find this rewarding: Hope for the best and let God do the rest.
Guy