REWARDS
The previous six chapters show patriarchy natural for females to exploit, and matriarchy has no chance of replacing it. Consequently, women are ‘forced’ to try harder than men up until they ‘convert’ one man to devote himself to marriage, husbanding, and fathering. After that, husbands have to devote harder to provide and protect, while wives devote to holding the relationship together. (It sounds severe, because we’re viewing married life beneath the positive surface and bonding attributes of love.)
God designed and Nature rewards the female. She’s compensated for male dominance and the relative imbalances just cited with an endowment of relationship expertise. Females know who, what, when, where, why, and how to successfully deal with males or a man. It’s their longest and strongest suit, if they play their hand not perfectly but just well.
To pay for the gift of their dominant spirit, God designed and Nature makes males susceptible to capture by sexual relations, by the females’ unique ability to reward males. Capture is one thing, and men don’t mind. Holding one is another, because men do mind suppressing their hunter-conqueror spirit.
· Men expect continual rewards for swapping their independence for family responsibility. Convenient sex is but a frequent reminder. Other female attributes such as femininity, likeability, and attractiveness seal the deal for holding a man through a lasting marriage. Compared to other women and leaving sex out of the equation, husband perceives wife as extraordinary. It makes yielding his independence worthwhile.
· Women hopeful of keeping their man reward with male-friendly incentives and avoid most of what incentivizes females. For example, wife makes herself attractive at all times and avoids sloppy appearances and careless grooming before her man. (She saw the need for it in courtship, so why drop it in marriage, why show that she tricked him?) When she puts her laziness before pleasing his eyes, she desensitizes husband to her importance for him.
· Over and above what they may earn themselves, women want some measure of wealth provided and protected by a help-mate in order to fulfill their hopes and dreams. Only a man can provide it reliably, and husbands do it best.
· Their relationship expertise tells women to focus on what they have, and what a man can do for them. And focus not on what they lack and particular men can’t or won’t do for them.
Brightening the females’ future relies on creating and accumulating new economic wealth. Men are naturally endowed to create it, and women are naturally endowed to take advantage of it. Not by gold-diggers in the traditional sense, but thar’s much gold to be mined in them patriarchal hills by women that appreciate the male gender for all it can do and respect it for just being different.
And thus this series ends.
I believe that most women today don’t know these things about how to hold on to their marriages and that they need to apply themselves. We used to hear that marriage takes work. Now it seems, people get married until out-of-love and divorce ensues (until they are in-love again and start the cycle again). Maybe, hopefully, there really, truly is a “revolution” going on with women rediscovering their feminine roots. This site is a good primer for newly married women and those who are looking as well as a reminder for those of us who have been married for many years. Thank you.
Hey Guy,
I was wondering what your interpretation is of Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord.”
How should a single woman interpret this scripture. What are some things a woman can do to demostrate that she is a wife?
Your Exceptionalness Jessica,
I interpret it literally and recommend a single woman do the same: If she marries she’s good for husband, and he receives favor from the Lord. It’s a great start, but couples may not grasp the significance.
She starts as good for husband; he starts in favor of the Lord. How to sustain it? I think in great measure it’s up to her. A woman becoming a wife automatically gains the favor of the Lord. He provides guidance, strength, and courage to enhance her relationship expertise and make her marriage work.
The Lord says husband has found a good thing with a wife, but men don’t seem to automatically conclude the same. To get and keep husband on the right track that she’s a good wife, she can and perhaps should start by honoring God’s chain of command—the Lord first, husband second, wife third, and kids last.
The following also helps husbands receive greater favor from the Lord and adds great value to wife: “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.” (Credit to Her Highness Sharon for the quote.)
Guy
P.S. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
G.
Great series Sir Guy. Thank you for all your work. It’s very kind of you to be so devoted to this extraordinary teaching. It’s very much appreciated.
I’m so glad you mentioned that “women aren’t just gold-diggers” while at the same time, there IS gold to be mined and that this is ok. Gold needs to be mined to take care of a family and I think that’s why God wired women this way.
Thank you so much Guy for the series. I will be referring my woman friends to it. I hope and pray that myself and other ladies reading this will have the courage to buck the system and our own, sometimes short-sightedness to apply these principles to our lives.
Your Royal Ladyship Princess Rita,
Thanks for the thanks. I fully expected to get pounded into trash with this series. Surprises never end, or maybe the Christmas spirit works as it should.
Merry Christmas, Your Highness,
Guy