- Women expect men to love and cherish them as females love others, but it’s another natural inequity.
- When demonstrating their love, men are very different from women. This chromosomal XX ≠ XY frustrates women into expecting a balance that never comes.
- If her man demonstrates his love as females show love, she loses respect for him.
- For a woman love and sex tend to merge. For a man love and sex tend to remain disconnected.
- Based on infatuation and lust, romantic love fades after a year or two. Enduring love can replace it, if courtship laid the foundation around his devotion of her rather than just his ‘commitment to them’ (more tomorrow at #793).
- A man’s enduring love is based on his unconditional respect for women generally and conditional respect of one woman specifically. It emanates from his appreciation of female attributes and her virtuous character, self-respect, and likeability as a mate.
- A woman’s enduring love is structured around her need for a brighter future for her and kids. It emanates from her emotional dependencies with her own life into which some responsible man enters.
- Enduring love being founded on deep respect, too much familiarity too soon and too fast short-circuits his respect for her. Full disclosure, touchy-feely, and easy sex are culprits.
792. Love Revisited
Filed under sex differences
“Enduring love being founded on deep respect, too much familiarity too soon and too fast short-circuits his respect for her. ”
Impatience is my enemy. I keep repeating this mistake, not trusting that I have more to offer than my sexuality. Instead of thinking it’s okay for the men to walk away when sex isn’t on offer, I turn on myself and think the problem lies with me.
I did practice on a new man I met recently. Within hours of speaking he asked me what my sex drive was like. I told him I felt uncomfortable answering such an intimate question and that I thought it was inappropriate considering we had only met. He accused me of being “hung up” about sex and that I “obviously had issues.”
I didn’t divert his attention away from the subject.
I told him Thanks, but no thanks.
I’m proud I did this and didn’t resort to explaining myself like I would’ve in the past. Was I wrong to be curt?
Like someone else said in the comments recently (I apologize that I can’t remember offhand who it was) I am socially retarded. I need a lot of guidance when it comes to men.
I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s post.
Thanks, Guy.
A very Happy New Year to Yourself & the Lovely Grace.
Your Highness Karen,
Welcome aboard. It’s enjoyable to read fresh initiative and adventurousness in an attractive woman.
As to curtness, use it. It smothers a man’s expectations for what he’s never bothered to earn, never bothered to make himself worthy for. I strongly endorse the curt reply and any other discouragements chosen to keep you in control of every situation. Remember: Women are the relationship experts, and they know best especially before a relationship has gelled into closeness.
He uses ‘hung up’ and ‘your issues’ because it worked with others. Next time attack but gently and smilingly. Accuse the guy of being hung up on ‘hung up’ and having ‘issues’ of his own. Why else would he seek to invade your sense of modesty? Perhaps, he doesn’t understand the feminine nature, so perhaps he should look inwardly more often. He needs to explore what’s tolerable before he assumes anything outside the boundaries of common courtesy and common sense (which you want to reserve the right to define).
Follow curtness and other discouraging remarks with this standard routine: gentleness, smile, and new subject. Give him opportunity to recover, but never ever show remorse or try to recover as if you were wrong or went too far. Leave the issue hanging however uncomfortable you make yourself. If he’s really interested in you, it shows him mystery, which pressures him to want to see you again.
Get the picture? It’s not sex that’s at issue, it’s that you’re very different in many ways and modesty is perhaps the most obvious and one of which he’s least aware. Also, modesty is your battle armour, but only to the extent that you wear and use it.
Incidentally, the glamourous Abigail claimed social retardation, which I consider both complimentary and honorable; you and she have so little trash to unlearn. Also, domestic retardation is the real threat, and social retardation provides the lessons and cautions that teach a woman how best to avoid it after marriage.
Guy
Karen, you’re great, I love you, that was perfect! A bewitching smile also works great(leave it hanging though, like Guy said)