Her Highness Anonymous asked: What about foreplay before marriage? How far is too far etc.? Answer: Too far is when a woman loses a man she hopes to keep. So, let’s examine foreplay in terms that tend to keep rather than chase off a man.
- Foreplay delayed beats afterplay remorse.
- Men see romance as necessary step to foreplay. Her first challenge is to distinguish romantic words that are acceptable from foreplay words, ideas, and conversations that should be unacceptable. If she can’t draw the line, confusion will haunt her attempts to govern her life while in foreplay mode.
- By separating the romantic from foreplay, she decides what her standards are and lives up to them. We’re all more admirable, when we live up to something bigger and more worthwhile than ourselves. Chasteness qualifies in the male mind, but she has to convince herself first.
- A man sees that she’s able to resist his greatest efforts, passions, promises, and commitment pledges. Consequently, he respects her fortitude in protecting what men imagine as her greatest asset. (He thinks: ‘She must be refusing other men too’. The more stringent her standards the more convincing they appear, and the more she stands out among other women.)
- A lack of deep foreplay anchors a man alongside a woman with notions of romance in his head. The longer she keeps foreplay reasonably shallow and avoids the deepest, the more romantically inclined he becomes with her. He’s still after conquest, but she holds him in check with limits that challenge instead of turning him off. (Unless he’s only after sex and dropping her confirms that.)
Persistent sexual pressures in modern society confuse men about female values about sex. Women can help clear the air by discretely refusing to speak about sex and herself or him. She can escape the personal by saying something like this: ‘Talk about sex and the public is okay, if relevant to what’s of interest to us at a particular time; that is, it’s awkward if we don’t. However, talk about me and sex in any shade or color is never okay. I don’t want to hear it.’
Perhaps more tomorrow.