I describe foreplay from this male perspective: Women enjoy foreplay, and men only have to learn the steps of each woman’s progression that leads to intercourse.
Women know this, so I’ll state the obvious: He starts with high energy and expectations of how far he can go. Also, he starts with little restraint and knowledge of how far he should go. It’s up to her to suppress and divert his sexual drive, if she prefers to use foreplay to her long-range advantage instead of lying back to enjoy immediate gratification.
Foreplay is a woman’s wonderful tool to qualify a man for marriage. Few things push a man more to reveal his true nature, his worthiness for her. And nothing better separates Marrying Man pursuing her from the other guys pursuing sex.
A man is as romantic as required to initiate foreplay and conquest. At every level of foreplay, if he can’t advance, he shifts back into romance and sweet-talk mode.
Women expect a romantic interlude to precede foreplay. It arouses their heart and prepares them for physical arousal.
A woman’s toughest challenge is to identify, define, and consciously decide exactly what temptations she will allow and can draw and hold a line that enables some foreplay but prevents intercourse. No further will she go! Will power is harder, but it works better for her than hopes and dreams and good intentions.
So, smarter females use foreplay to stimulate romance. They make hard-headed and hard and fast conscious decisions long before they are talked or led too deeply into foreplay. They learn to manage foreplay to stimulate romance that they prefer and defer intercourse that men prefer.
Tips tomorrow.
Could you elaborate on this please:
“Foreplay is a woman’s wonderful tool to qualify a man for marriage. Few things push a man more to reveal his true nature, his worthiness for her. And nothing better separates Marrying Man pursuing her from the other guys pursuing sex.”?
And by the way, thank you so much for writing these blogs. They motivate me to keep my prudeness
Your Ten-ness Anonymous,
• To help clarify, I changed the word following ‘Marrying Man’ from ‘after’ to ‘pursuing’.
• When she yields with only minimum resistance to his foreplay advances, she’s proving herself worthy of him. Not good for her. If she hopes to keep him, she wants him to make himself worthy of her. This means that he more than respects her, he proves it by honoring her wishes—repeatedly until new habits form within him.
• Her standards and expectations about dating, courtship, foreplay, and sex should be designed around this: Guys only pursuing sex identify themselves automatically by their reactions to her prudeness, frigidity, or whatever else they wish to call her refusals to play the player’s game.
• The Marrying Man is looking for the feminine wonder that has values to which she’s strongly committed. Also, she’s flooded with self-respect, admirable neatness, and strong unwillingness to partner with just anybody. He looks for signs that she’ll be faithful above all else. She lays the best groundwork with a value system and character that strongly suggests she always says ‘No’ to guys looking for sex.
Guy
Hi Guy!
I have a question if i may, and it may seem too simple to be obvious, but here goes…
You say, “A man is as romantic as required to initiate foreplay and conquest. At every level of foreplay, if he can’t advance, he shifts back into romance and sweet-talk mode…”
What I am hearing is that men don’t enjoy foreplay. That the entire time they are “sweet talking” and “romancing” the woman who hasn’t yielded, they are thinking.. “Damn this sucks, how much longer do i have to do this before she lets me INNNNNN!”
I want to know that a man is loving every minute of romacing me… not just going thrugh some actions so he can get what he wants.
How unromantic!
Plus, I thought men likes to make the women they are courting happy.?
Your Delightfulness Miss Dawn,
Think about unconquered women in what follows.
You say: “What I am hearing is that men don’t enjoy foreplay.”
I’m unsure how you conclude that. For guys foreplay is predominantly the means rather than the ends. His real enjoyment comes from being challenged and conquering whatever objections she may have. The more objections the merrier, as women should view it, but men won’t admit it.
On the other hand, light foreplay can be the ends for her, if his technique and self-restraint demonstrate, for example, fear of going too far. She loves it, when a man confirms interest in her for who she is rather than as sex object.
You say: “The entire time they are ‘sweet talking’ and ‘romancing’ the woman who hasn’t yielded, they are thinking.. ‘Damn this sucks, how much longer do I have to do this before she lets me INNNNNN!’”
Perhaps too harshly interpreted by you, but it’s true when the guy is strictly after sex. Until he demonstrates devotion to her with other actions, she has no way of knowing for sure what he’s after. Also, pursuit of sex could be secondary on his agenda, so he pursues it simultaneous with primary objective. Sometimes men can also be complex.
You say: “I want to know that a man is loving every minute of romancing me… not just going through some actions so he can get what he wants.”
Every gal wishes the same thing, but it’s unreal if she expects it for nothing. She can have sex for nothing but not romance.
Also, guys want to know every minute that their efforts will not be in vain. He’s a producer, competitor, and conqueror, whether first priority on his agenda is sex or impressing her sufficiently to stick with him.
I have described elsewhere how she can make him love loving her. Start with the posts titled HardToGet and Virtual Virginity. It’s the feminine promise she holds for him above and beyond sex that stirs his romantic feelings, that lowers the priority of sex on his agenda.
You say: “How unromantic!”
Keep in mind that romance is the females’ game. It includes the female-defined cultural value that romance is good. It also includes the social expectation that men pay certain homage before they are entitled to go further toward having sex.
You say: “I thought men like to make the women they are courting happy.”
They do. But it’s based on WADWMUFGAO; we all do what makes us feel good about ourselves. A man likes to make a woman happy, because he feels good doing so. You can imagine how easy she can turn him off by showing distress or ingratitude for his gifts, compliments, or special attentions.
She has an even bigger price to pay to keep him around. Men have unusual and even weird ideas about what gifts to give a woman. She’d better appreciate what she gets, while she tries indirectly and patiently to ‘upgrade’ his sense of appropriateness for her.
Miss Dawn, thank you. You open doors that need it. I receive each as a personal gift.
Guy
Sir guy,
You have cleared up much… What impacted me most was your commentL: “…Every gal wishes the same thing, but it’s unreal if she expects it for nothing. She can have sex for nothing but not romance…”
Indeed, I MUST keep at the forefront of my mind- that Romance is not free… That it requires something of me.
And that soemthing is far more than mere beauty, althugh it certainly helps
You’ve got the beauty part covered Your Delightfulness Miss Dawn!
Dear Guy,
I know this is an old post but I just found your blog.
So…. foreplay….. what happens when the smallest amount of foreplay gets the man aroused (erect) and then he tries to convince you that you now have an obligation…. because it’s terrible and awful and criminal of you to arouse a man and not finish. It HURTS him. It’s oh so cruel.
It would seem as though foreplay unconsummated is torture for him. Is that BS or what? Is it a trick? I am asking this for future reference because this is something I have experienced with a previous fellow I am no longer seeing. He was great with the guilt trips. I don’t like feeling like (or being told that) I’m a terrible person or a tease. Is a girl supposed to go only up to before he’s fully aroused. How am I supposed to know what that point is? And do you believe that it’s ok to go all the way once engaged? Does a man really want to marry a girl without knowing for sure what he’s getting in terms of sex?
I wish I lived 200 years ago when couldn’t pull all the nonsense they pull today :/
Thank you kindly,
Girl
Your Highness Girl,
Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear. Your questions are sufficiently detailed that time isn’t available now.
Come back and look for my response in Wednesday’s post 1689.
Guy
Dear Guy,
Thank you, and I shall look for that anon. This blog is a goldmine; I’m glad to have found it. This is a wonderful thing you are doing here for those of who are clueless. I was raised to stick to my principles, and that I do, but no one really schooled me in the art of courtship. I will be reading through this blog from post #1 in order, along with the new ones you post simultaneously or I may never catch up! Thank you so much for this blog.
Very Sincerely,
Girl <–(I probably should have thought a little harder when picking a moniker haha but oh well, "Girl" it is)