Her Highness Anonymous inquired about boyfriend as king and what all it means.
Her goal: She should treat him such that he wants to stay with her forever, which means he becomes devoted to her and seeks to cherish her for life. It’s a tall order, and treating him as king before marriage leads to a temporary rather than permanent arrangement.
Anonymous asked: “What exactly does treating him as king entail?”
- She fears losing him more than he fears losing her, so she tries to sell herself as ideal for his companion/mate/date/girlfriend/wife.
- She wants him to feel good about her, so she repeatedly tries to keep him happy about her. At his slightest disappointments, she retreats into guilt mode.
- She tries to convince him that she’ll never drop him, or she could never devote herself to another man, or that he’s her one-and-only.
- She treats him royally and expects him to return it and be kingly benevolent. (Once he conquers her, benevolence does not remain top of mind to him, if it ever did.)
- She gives him anything he wants, before she finds out whether he’s truly after sex or her. (If he doesn’t have to devote himself to winning her endorsement of him as potential Mr. Right, she’ll not figure out if she outranks sex before she makes mistakes.)
- She gives freely what she wants to give him, because it makes her feel good to make him feel good. (This elevates his expectations to expect the same after marriage.)
- She tries to make herself worthy of him, instead of requiring him to make himself worthy of her. (The male nature too easily distrusts and even disrespects givers of unearned gifts and favors. Being producers, men appreciate highly what they have to work for.)
- She lets him get by dominating her and their relationship to the point of being offensive. (She loses self-respect and, consequently, his respect.)
- She doesn’t challenge his behavior inappropriate for the marriage she envisions with him. (Her challenges after marriage will ring hollow.)
- She accepts his values and standards about morality, courtesies, and mutual respect. Fearful of losing him, she buys into his habits (that she will later scorn).
The subject continues tomorrow in article #804.