Men and women are vastly different creatures. Hundreds of ways are described and contrasted here. You’ll find that compatibility depends more on matching differences than finding likenesses.
I suggest that newbies start with the ABOUT page at blog top followed by the series beginning at “1747 - Sex Difference Redux.” The series introduces the major differences that shape the rest of this blog, such as needs, love, guilt, bonding, fears, virginity, compatibility, sex drives, infidelity, happiness, and more.
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Please understand that I CANNOT engage in dialogue on either Twitter or Facebook because of time constraints. I will dialogue as usual within the comments sections of WWNH blog.
I appreciate and hope you enjoy your visit and viewing.
Guy
Thanks to two important ladies in my life. Her Highness Miss Dawn suggested something special for newbies and passers-by. Her Highness Holly provided inspiration for the themes. Thank you, ladies.
Guy
Great idea Miss Dawn!
Your Dreamliness Princess Rita,
Yes, and I like it better each time I see it. But then Miss Dawn always has shone brightly.
Guy
Got wind of this blog from another blog and I’m impressed. Will definitely be back (blog has been bookmarked)! Love how you set the guidelines for you blog b4 anything else…I will abide by them.
Your Motivated Husband,
Welcome aboard. You parked some fine credentials above. Thanks.
Guy
Demonstrations of respect? Like what?
Your Highness Stefanie,
Welcome aboard. Glad to hear from you, but time presses on me. Have patience and I’ll respond to your question no later than tomorrow morning.
Guy
P.S. You’re asking about post 769 where item #7 claims: “Women appreciate and are energized by affirming words. Men are not nearly as appreciative or energized by affirmations as by demonstrated respect.” You ask, How does she demonstrate respect? It depends on their marital status.
• If unmarried, now watch this, she demonstrates her respect by earning his. She earns his respect by refusing, rejecting, and preventing yielding sexually to him. By diligently guarding her sexual virtue, whether actual or virtual virgin, she keeps him around for dating and courting. He’s thinking about getting her in bed, but subliminal messages show that she respects him. Otherwise, she wouldn’t put up with his single-minded efforts. If she yields, she loses respect, because her natural hard-headedness bowed to her soft-heartedness in the face of his sexual prowess and pressure.
• If she’s unmarried, I recommend the Virtual Virginity series as listed in the CONTENTS page at blog top.
• If married, she demonstrates her respect for him by showing her dependence.
• If she’s married, I recommend the Submission or Submissive? series as listed in the CONTENTS page at blog top.
To your simple question, I provide a complex response. Sorry, but it’s necessary because the subject penetrates to the core of male-female connections and interactions.
Whether married or not, you may want to explore the blog through the WWNH University courses. It’s designed to guide new visitors through the maze of mastering the male-female interface.
G.
Guy, as soon as I read these paragraphs, it reminded me of your blog.
The following is an excerpt from:
The End of Courtship by Leon R. Kass
“The supreme virtue of the virtuous woman was modesty, a form of sexual self-control, manifested not only in chastity but in decorous dress and manner, speech and deed, and in reticence in the display of her well-banked affections. A virtue, as it were, made for courtship, it served simultaneously as a source of attraction and a spur to manly ardor, a guard against a woman’s own desires, as well as a defense against unworthy suitors. A fine woman understood that giving her body (in earlier times, even her kiss) meant giving her heart, which was too precious to be bestowed on anyone who would not prove himself worthy, at the very least by pledging himself in marriage to be her defender and lover forever.
“Once female modesty became a first casualty of the sexual revolution, even women eager for marriage lost their greatest power to hold and to discipline their prospective mates. For it is a woman’s refusal of sexual importunings, coupled with hints or promises of later gratification, that is generally a necessary condition of transforming a man’s lust into love. Women also lost the capacity to discover their own genuine longings and best interests. For only by holding herself in reserve does a woman gain the distance and self-command needed to discern what and whom she truly wants and to insist that the ardent suitor measure up. While there has always been sex without love, easy and early sexual satisfaction makes love and real intimacy less, not more, likely — for both men and women. Everyone’s prospects for marriage were — are — sacrificed on the altar of pleasure now.”
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001154.cfm
Your Exceptionalness Donna,
Thank you. It’s a marvelous contribution.
I surely do wish I could compound my thoughts so beautifully and write like that.
Guy
Dear Guy,
This explains the reason why we need this blog:
http://www.fredoneverything.net/HookingUp.shtml
Have a nice weekend and thanks again
Y
This one is also a very recent and relevant article:
http://www.henrymakow.com/why_are_feminists_surprised_da.html
It is pleasure to meet you. I have been visiting your site intermittently for some months. I appreciate and agree with your point of view. My question is what is” hard headedness” and conversely what is “soft headedness”. I have read that you advise women to be hard headed before marriage and soft headed after marriage. Please refer me to past lessons that I may get a better understanding of these traits.
Thank you, once again for your service to women (and men).
Your Highness Arlyne,
Welcome aboard. Always glad to have another pretty woman join the cruise.
As to hard-headedness, think mind made up, more stubborn than easy, hard to convince, high standards for self, and high expectations for those hoping to get close to her. As to soft-headedness, think the opposite, willing to please others for the sake of pleasing them.
We all do what makes us feel good about ourselves. Hard-headed women stand their ground, they neither give in nor give up easily. Soft-headed women are not committed to their own best interest. They fold, cave, and roll over and wonder why they later don’t feel good about themselves.
Guy
I’ve only read a few posts, and I’m already in love….I’m sure I’ll have questions along the way, and I have the distictive feeling that you’ll answer the question straight up, with no chaser….
That said (or more appropriately, ‘written’) Thank you Guy for your honesty and your committment to bridging the ‘relationship gap’.
This is a great theme…Men commit for sex, but women earn devotion withholding it. Soooo true!
Your Highness MotorCityMoxie,
Welcome aboard. Its a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
Guy
CONGRADUALTIONS! you finally made it on youtube Sir Guy so everyone will know what you look like! After 4 years of bkogging!
I probably shouldn’t be leaving a comment in my account’s name, but being the Russophile that I am, sociological questions like the makeup of families and gender roles do fascinate me as expectations are so different in post-Soviet Russia and post-WW2 America. Since I’m planning on going abroad in the fall, I hope I can learn a thing or two about what to expect, since they are much more traditionalist in these sorts of things.
And, while I do have some issues and questions about the content, I’ll try to remain as kindly as possible, since it seems the more aggressive commenters didn’t receive the answers they wanted.
One of the main questions I have is, can guys and girls be friends without a sexual component? With my own experiences, I can answer this, but I wanted to know your take on it.
I noticed a lot of talk about “hits” in earlier posts and, as someone who was raised to think that all men want is sex (this notion perpetuated more by my own father than any female I’ve encountered), if a guy hits on me, or I walk into a group of guys where a hit is more likely, it scares me. I’ll usually try to get out of the situation as quickly as possible, or avoid it by putting on what I call my B*tch Face and turn on my iPod, because I fear ulterior motives. Since I can probably expect this a lot in Russia (since I’m mulatto and therefore unique), what can I do to reduce the tension so I don’t accidentally start an international catastrophe (lol)?
Since I’ll be going abroad during the fall and winter seasons, I’m not going to be giving up my jeans all that easily. Already, I own very few skirts and dresses (two of each and worn very infrequently). While I don’t mind dresses and the like, I much prefer the freedom and versatility of jeans. Is a woman less feminine if she is in jeans and confident, or in skirts and not confident? I suppose we can add hair length to this question too. I have short hair (being a Black and Italian hybrid does not make for easy hair management), and I was thinking about cutting it back to its natural roots. I look much better with short hair and its cheaper to relax/flatiron than when my hair was to the small of my back.
My comment is already long enough! I’ll snip it here and leave you with these things to think about. Thanks for your answer ahead of time!
Your Highness Theaccidentalrussophile,
“One of the main questions I have is, can guys and girls be friends without a sexual component?” Perhaps, provided the guy doesn’t find the girl attractive. But after knowing a woman for a long time, even less attractive ones can become attractive. Women need a reason to have sex but men don’t. So, the best answer is No. The movie When Harry Met Sally covers the subject very well.
“what can I do to reduce the tension so I don’t accidentally start an international catastrophe?” Learn to smile a lot when saying ‘nyet’ in a very charming fashion. Learn also to enjoy rather than resent manly attention not of your invitation. Wear your uniqueness as the badge of honor that it is. You will be respected and shown deference to the extent that you respect yourself and expect deference. Practice here before you leave.
About the jeans and dresses. Use whatever you prefer but dresses help expand your femininity if you seek to promote it.
Guy
Hi Guy,
Thanks for your quick response! I figured you would say that about guys and girls. I won’t argue. I find my experiences to be different, so to each their own.
Hmm…I don’t think I resent men. But when I get hit on, it’s often unexpected and can be very scary when all I want to do is get tomato soup at Safeway! And I should revise the tone of this comment, and my earlier question. It makes me sound like I get hit on all the time, when in reality, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Which, I would like to state for the record, I am very, very, very comfortable with. But if it happens more frequently in Russia, I’ll try to smile rather than practice my 400m dash.
Thanks for the answer on the pants vs. dresses issue. Dresses can just get in the way. I don’t want to feel like, just because I’m a woman, I can’t rock a pair of jeans because it’s not “feminine” enough. That kind of bums me out, thinking about the restrictions of feminine clothing. What can I say–I was raised in overalls, Converse, and a backwards baseball cap. Much different from the culture I’m going to study in, but that’s what studying abroad is all about, right?
Your Highness Theaccidentalrussophile,
I’m interested about “I find my experiences to be different.” Just how do you find out that guys ignore the sex component of your friendships? They don’t, although if they have great respect for you and fear censure, they might keep it hidden. That’s not the same as your experience differing from what I said earlier.
As to jeans, just add high heels and classy/jazzy femininity returns. Especially spikes with pants other than jeans to the top of the heel for special occasions. Very dressy to help show off yourself or your date.
Guy
Quite simple, when they say things like: “Tanya, you’re the sister my parents never gave me.” That’s what my best friend of five years said to me the other day.
I’m also not very feminine. I’m competitive as hell. I swear like a sailor, burp, play video games, can be quite rowdy. I’m loud and obnoxious. I like paintball and anime and programming computers (and I have a thing for steampunk). I don’t know how to cook or paint my nails, don’t dress feminine and I wear makeup probably once a month. When they need advice on girls, I’m usually the first they call. I make a good guy’s friend. I don’t make a good girlfriend. And that’s totally fine with me.
Growing up, my first friends were guys and that pattern has continued to my college years. I adore each and every one of them and many of them also have girlfriends whom I’m friends with.
As a side note, my best friend wants me to be one of his groomsmen at his wedding (so cute!). And he’ll totally be one of my bridesmaids. No questions asked. (I call him my bridedude).
And also, if a guy can’t just be friends with a girl because sex gets in the way, wouldn’t that mean a guy can’t value a girl beyond her sex organs? And that, once again, a man is only looking for sex?
(About the pants: yes, I know how to dress up a pair of skinny jeans to go out. I can even work five-inch heels if I have to. I just choose not to, especially in the dead of winter on the Eastern seaboard. Will this have to change when I go to Russia? Probably; do as the Romans do, but for right now, it’s boots and jeans.)
Swearing, burping, and being loud and obnoxious are more bad habits, class and breeding issues than personality traits. My husband is quite masculine, but he doesn’t make a habit of those things, especially not in public.
There’s nothing inherently masculine about enjoying video games, paintball, programming, steampunk and anime. I enjoy several of those things and consider myself quite feminine. There’s nothing wrong with being competitive either so long as you don’t let it damage your relationships and understand the effect that competition with a significant other has on men. Who doesn’t love to win?
It seems to me that you are trying to excuse tacky behavior and by saying that you aren’t feminine. Those habits don’t make you masculine, just uncouth. You can do better if you want to.
The real point that I’m trying to make, is neither that I’m feminine or masculine, but that I don’t give my guy friends a reason to see the “delicate, feminine being who needs to be conquered sexually.” That’s how I know their intentions are true, especially because a good portion of my guy friends have girlfriends. I used language that I found throughout this blog (non-competitiveness, for example, as a trait women should have) to highlight that fact.
And my uncouthness depends on who I’m around, of course. I’m not going to drop the F-bomb when I’m in a job interview. I’m not stupid.
If I can ask “Why are you here?”. Not to be rude, but something drew you here to this blog. “What could that be?”
Lady Kaikou
Certainly! And I don’t take it as rude. It does seem quite strange that someone with as opposing views as my own to be traipsing around this site. The answer is simple: I found this site through a mirror tumblr, thought it was interesting and started flipping through some of the articles. After lurking for a while, I was curious about some of its contents and wanted to ask questions.
Yes, I come from a completely different set of views and values than the creator, but as I stated in my opening post, as a Russophile, someone who finds Russian culture fascinating (and Russian culture is much more traditional in terms of gender roles and whatnot), and as someone who is going there soon, I wanted to get some advice and ask questions.
That’s all I want to do is open a channel of dialogue and have a friendly discourse. (Though, I realize some of my earlier statements aren’t as friendly, and I wish there was an “edit comment” option so I could revise it). Maybe I’ll learn something, maybe I’ll change my views (doubtful), but that shouldn’t mean that we can’t have a dialogue, right?
-S
Of course. I hope that you get the conversation you are looking for.
Lady Kaikou