Ladies, here’s an illustration of how the male and female minds DON’T work together, but how differences can be overcome.
I asked Guy to take me shopping at a favorite store 65 miles away. On the way home I thanked him for taking me, and my words fell short of being appreciated. Well intentioned words didn’t register nearly as deep as I intended. He didn’t shrug his shoulders apathetically, but he might just as well have.
I’m still learning to put the male puzzle together. So, after a short pause I volunteered to use my mad money to treat him to one of his favorites. We stopped at an Outback Steakhouse. As we dined I told him the prime rib was my reward for his changing his daily plans to please me. (He was bigger than just a chauffeur.)
He nodded and smiled appreciatively. But it goes deeper, and I think Guy is working on a fuller description of how and why men respond differently than us.
Lesson re-learned: Females love to hear words of gratitude, but men are different. Specific actions as rewards impress men much more than just grateful words.
Thank you for being transparent with us Mrs. Guy. Can’t wait to hear what Mr. Guy says.
Thank you for sharing this Sweet Mrs Guy. A few years ago we were going through a particularly trying time with a pet in distress. I was so very grateful for my husband’s effort, manliness, responsibility, action, work, love and caring for our pet, the situation and me and I thanked him profusely and often. Showing my immense gratitude was all too much for him, ‘over-done’ and ‘he felt undeserving’. I wonder how I could have thanked him in a way that he could really absorb.
Your Sweetheartness Linda L.,
I answer your questions, I think, in new posts 964, 965, and perhaps 966. Get back to me if answers are not there.
Guy
As a guy, I know I don’t need to hear words to know something. Actions are much easier to work with as in this example.
Sir Joe,
Welcome aboard. You agree this time but don’t make that your only criterion for commenting.
Guy
women…always *feeling* like they need to make things right…Guy could have been perfectly happy with a “Thank You”…though you didn’t *feel* it in his response
it’s so easily manipulate women’s feelings…and get a free steak out of it
… but we won’t let the ladies in on our little secret
Sir Fred,
I’m offended. Not that you accusd me of manipulating my wife for I have nothing to defend. None of your claims apply to our personal life.
My offense rises from you insinuating that I’m similar to you, your predilictions, or habits.
We all do what makes us feel good about ourselves. And many do it by accusing others of their own shortcomings, so as to have company. Often, too, they act on insufficient evidence.
Consequently, some men do manipulate, and it’s a sign of internal inadequacies in the manipulator. This blog seeks to teach women how to recognize manipulators and other scoundrels preying on females just because they can.
Guy
You’re my hero Mr. Guy! Your Grace is one lucky woman!
i didn’t grasp this AT all until recently my husband told me when i thanked him for doing things he should just normally do–like mowing the lawn i was “talking to him like hired help” . i really couldnt grasp it. now i know i should SHOW him my thanks with action, like rushing to get him sodas or a steak dinner or not thank him at all but smile and compliment him on what a careful neat and good job he does and how hard he works
Your Highness Dana,
Welcome aboard. Glad to have you with us.
Thanks for the wonderful example so clearly described. I love it when pretty women help me do my job with such relevant examples.
Guy
Thanks for that example…that helps a lot.
Dear Bold and Courageous Sir Guy,
We’ve been away for a couple of weeks and I was looking forward to coming home to read your insightful thoughts. I was not disappointed. Indeed your articles are true gems. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and addressing my question.