06/30/2010 · 6:53 am
- Men use imagination to weaken female defenses against conquest. Women use imagination to prepare men for marriage.
- A man nags his wife, and she’s inclined to do better. A woman nags her husband, and he responds in his own good time if at all.
- When marriage begins to sink, she seeks to right the ship. He seeks to escape the new flooding.
- Women thrive on reading subliminal messages and subconscious motives. Men neither can nor are they very interested in things so indirect.
- She likes to please her man and do it his way. He likes to please his woman, if he can do it his way.
- Women have an easily stirred personal sense of guilt. Men don’t feel guilt as easily, and they don’t let it linger very long.
- Women appreciate and are energized by affirming words. Men are not nearly as appreciative or energized by affirmations as by demonstrated respect.
- Women can disagree and argue on emotional issues and remain friends, because relationship management is so important. Men cannot, because competing natures prioritize winning as more important than relationship management.
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I believe this is ‘general’ because most women don’t get along as much as you think and when men fight, they could still be friends later. I agree though on the sex part, these women are acting like wives and getting nothing for it, just a bunch of stress, and depression. I know a woman who bought a house with her boyfriend; if it was her husband, it would have been a different story.
This is also why WOMEN need to get feminine and old fashioned if they want their kids to be secure, in the long run. We were always booksmart , but we didn’t want to compete with men, because we really don’t play their game well even though we think we can. We need to turn back into LADIES again….I think the men will also be stronger for it
I would like to comment on #8. Women can disagree and argue on emotional issues and remain friends, but only if that subject is never brought up again. Since women, in general, can find many different topics to discuss, they rarely need revisit one that is difficult to either party. I suppose that is the management part.
I have watched my husband disagree and argue with other men without it compromising their friendship but their friendship was based on their brotherhood in Christ. However, when my husband recently lost something for which he was competing, the relationship was completely broken. I thought that the relationship was broken because the loss was due to underhanded politicking, but I wonder if the relationship would have suffered the same fate had he lost on a level playing field. This loss was in March and we still are living with the fallout. It was truly a life-altering blow. Any advice for a wife in this position?
Your Wifely Greatness Michele,
As an aware wife, I’d bet you’re already doing what you should: Remind, help, and support him in those efforts that build up his sense of significance in himself. Pay attention to what he pays attention to and do some wifely uplifting, encouraging, and showing of dependence.
Guy
When I just married, I decided to never nag (as in #2), and, for the most part, I’ve kept that. My question: How do non-naggers get their husbands to do the things that need to be done by them that the women are really unable to do? There are some things that I, as a woman, do not feel competent to do that I know that my husband can do very easily (and plus, if I did attempt and fail, my husband would tell me that I should have waited for him to do it!!).
Your Highness Rose,
I think tomorrow’s article, #971, may provide some answers. If not enough to figure out your problem, please ask again and provide an example.
Guy
P.S. I realize now that your question differs from those I answer with posts 971 and 972. So, look for post 973 to respond to you on Monday.
G.
P.P.S. I made a workload and a scheduling mistake. Look for your response Tuesday with post 975.
G.
@ Rose
make sure you ask him indirectly, there are posts about the awesome effect of indirectness somewhere on here…
What if you waited? (Don’t know how important it is.) If he found that it wouldn’t get done until he did it; and saw that it’s not getting done was a urgent and negative thing, maybe he would do it, faster?
And then, apply GART when he does it.
@My ladies,Michele and Babe,
I think part of the women disagreeing and then not being friends has to do with the self-loathing issue. Maybe they weren’t friends to begin with?
Or the other one I can think of is if they feel so bad that they might not know how to re-open the friendship.
I’ve had girls that I disagree with, and we get along fine. We even still discuss topics we don’t see eye to eye on.
So I think another part of it might be how the issue is addressed. If the issue is always brought up as a ‘take-sides’ then it’s going to cause problems.