Her Highness Denise at #999 asked many questions regarding a woman’s negative emotions and her man’s role in ‘fixing’ them. Responding to her comment, I wrote: “Should she rely on her man or herself? Answer: herself!” Which begs the questions: When? and How?
Men to a lesser degree but women are continually faced with anxiety, envy, fear, guilt, and others too numerous to list here. Such negative emotions haunt and stress women and often defy release.
(If you’re unwilling to change your thoughts and ideas about life, you need read no further. Better handling of one’s anxieties, fears, and guilt require developing new habits of thinking, which requires change and more dedication to Self.)
When life’s vicissitudes stress out a woman, she has three options: Let them get her down. Dump her stress on someone else and hope for relief. Or resolve them herself. The latter is the best, and my job is to convince that it’s the easiest. The objective, as mentioned by Denise at post 999 is to enable her to be “winsome and gracious” most of the time.
We have two kinds of women. Born-again Christians have no trouble. They give their troubles to the Lord and are released from emotional baggage and chains (as long as they don’t take them back). But for others, something else works. Furthermore, the secret lies with doing it before it happens. As Ben Franklin claimed, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
Negative emotions have one enemy: gratefulness. Also, happiness arises from gratitude. And, as Dennis Prager describes with great backup, we all have a moral obligation to be happy. We owe it to other people.**
The cure for negative emotions lays here: Find gratitude amidst whatever else surrounds the cause of the anxiety, fear, guilt, etc. Start now and develop this habit: Look for how grateful you are for everything else, especially those things that contribute to your negative emotions. For example:
- You fear hubby’s wandering eye may lead him astray. Focus on and take actions that show how grateful you are for who he is and what he does. Find other reasons for gratefulness in your marriage. Such actions turned into habit will drive your fears away.
- Without your fears reflecting in your attitude, your change in behavior can slow or stop his wandering eye. Your dependence on what and who he is makes you more valuable. Your need of him makes you less valuable; also it doesn’t show gratitude but feeds your unappealing self-centeredness.
Don’t take what you just read as the way to keep husband faithful, although it should help. It’s an example of how to search, adopt, and use your gratefulness for other things in life that surround whatever causes your anxieties, fears, or guilt.
Make searching and rejoicing habitual in your life. Spend your wakefulness spotlighting things and people for whom you’re grateful. Reinforce the habit every time some negative emotion intrudes on your thoughts.
When you feel down, look to upgrade your gratefulness for who you are and what you have. Gratitude not only generates happiness, it can put negative emotions to flight.
When you don’t harbor negative emotions, your femininity shines with winsomeness, graciousness, and charm aka attractive personality to men.
**If you can get Dennis Prager’s three-hour M-F radio show, he has both a Happiness Hour and a Male-Female Hour each week. (Everyone needs their thinking cleared up, and I admire him more than anyone for his uncanny ability to clearly guide us to better thinking. Don’t think preaching, think clearing up weighty and confusing thoughts.)