Everything in life is relative, and momentum prevails. All kinds of pressure determine what people do and why they do it. More than a few pressures predominate today to ostensibly pave the road to matriarchy. Or, do we just bastardize patriarchy? In neither event does society move to better serve women, children, family, and monogamy.
Early feminist radicals set out to displace patriarchy with matriarchy. They brought sex to the political arena and turned it into a political commodity. Cheap and easy sex followed, and females’ power of uniqueness dwindled.
Unwittingly modern women pretend to matriarchal politics. They try to parlay male commitment and loyalty by dispensing sex. They withhold it to punish or manipulate. Female sexual uniqueness combined with government backing generates apparent ability to dominate males. Political correctioneers in particular take advantage.
This now shapes society: Men compete with females for sex rather than with men for a wife. Unmarried females dispense sex liberally and exploit the polygamous nature of men to kill monogamy. Sister females disrespect wives and deprive them the ability to keep husband faithful and family together.
Except before his conquest of her, women lose when competing with men. Men don’t compete with other men for a good woman. Women aren’t exposed to possible candidates from which to choose the best to brighten their futures.
Men avoid both marriage and monogamy to favor their natural polygamous nature. Enjoying frequent and convenient sex outside marriage, they avoid marriage. Observing women opposed to natural male dominance, they avoid it. Watching the importance of ‘man of the house’ crumble in female eyes, they avoid it.
Or, men marry to find wife sooner or later different than bride they courted and married. Soured marriage makes men condemn marriage. Soured marriage makes women condemn men.
Also, men view marital sex as the ultimate patriarchal perk. Men take denial and manipulative use of sex as ultimate insult to their investment of Self. Insult easily becomes resentment and soon invites retaliation. Anticipating imaginatively and inclined toward managing their lives, men adopt a ‘preventer’ mindset, and just avoid marriage.
Reduced competition with men wilts the masculine drive to dominate. Men morph into something less responsible for both sex and home rule. Moreover, the bountiful supply of sex rewards ‘men who wilt’, and so more join in. Females take advantage with five unintended consequences.
- Cheap and easy sex captures men temporarily, but it also teaches them to have less admiration and respect for females and their gender.
- Easier conquests morph into weaker sense of personal responsibility for both sexes.
- Men adopt or fake female values to help sell themselves more easily for sexual favors.
- The wilted masculine drive to dominate more easily morphs to something less responsible for both sex and home rule.
- More and more males become more and more feminized, which tends to make masculinity less socially acceptable, which weakens patriarchy, which shifts both trend and momentum toward matriarchy.
Look at the tolls society pays on the road to matriarchy. These stand out:
- Women are unable to fulfill female hopes and dreams. They abandon female strengths to have a man. Men react to sexual plenty. Manly integrity weakens, reliable character crumbles, personal responsibility fades, and respect for the female gender deteriorates.
- Men are compensated with sex to accept feminists’ downloading of antagonism onto the male gender and uploading dominance and superior spirit to females. Few recognize or accept that the latter sentence causes the former condition.
Can or will trend or momentum be reversed? As women go, so goes society. Feminists put the ball in the female court, there it remains, and men smilingly and irresponsibly jump the net for sex. Bastardized patriarchy seems much more likely than matriarchy. Both bode ill for females, children, and the institutions of marriage and family.
I would not be surprised if we got a true matriarchy in the future. Women of the past were forced into submission to men because men were needed to survive. Men dominated partially because their superior strength was needed. The economy and job market has moved away from that, and now women are more than half the work force. Women are also earning more than half of the college degrees. Now submission is a choice that women make and many are choosing not to. Women can get everything that men provide without men, but men can’t do the same. I think that the balance of power has shifted and I don’t see it returning to the way it was before.
About using sex to control men: Even the women who are abstaining from sex until marriage are doing so to get a man to give them what they want. I think that it is great for women to know that some men are less likely to marry you if you have sex outside of marriage. I say “some men” because almost every married couple that I know had sex before marriage. But shouldn’t women have sex or abstain for reasons unrelated to manipulating a man? Telling a woman to withhold sex before marriage if you want to get married is is still telling her that her sexuality is a tool to be used for her benefit. No wonder women withhold sex as punishment and to manipulate in marriage.
Telling a woman to withhold sex before marriage if you want to get married is still telling her that her sexuality is a tool to be used for her benefit. No wonder women withhold sex as punishment and to manipulate in marriage.
I see this as one example of women being hard-headed before marriage and soft-hearted while married (by refusing sex before marriage but being willing during marriage); or if women do the opposite (give sex before marriage but withhold it afterwards) then they are being soft-headed before marriage, and hard-hearted afterward, which is a recipe for disaster; and if women refuse sex before marriage and also within marriage, then they are being hard-headed before, and hard-hearted afterward. Only the first has any hope of marital harmony and happiness.
Certainly some (maybe even most!) women will view admonitions of “chastity before marriage” to get the guy they want, and come to the conclusion that they should continue to use “chastity within marriage” to get what they want; but that would fall, I rather suspect, into the category of “What Women Always Hear” rather than “What Women Never Hear.”
People don’t always hear what is said, after all.
KKC-
There are other practical reasons for a woman to abstain from sex. One of those reasons being that the chemical hormone that bonds women to their sex partners weakens with subsequent partners. It often happens that women will eventually have little bonding after they have had a large number of sex partners. Women who want to marry and feel bonded to one man will want to avoid that.
The other practical reason is that many women don’t want an unplanned pregnancy because they are unwilling to abort.
And of course- sexually transmitted diseases are always an issue. Condoms aren’t 100%.
Also- abstaining from sex before marriage isn’t just to get the man to marry you but to improve the quality of the relationship once already married. A woman has the most power in a relationship before sex has happened. It is that courting period where she sets the standards. While lots of people manage to get married despite having sex- lots of people also have very bad marriages that don’t last.
“… While lots of people manage to get married despite having sex- lots of people also have very bad marriages that don’t last.”
I think there is a causal relationship … so many people these days marry out of inertia, and the inertia is grounded in fact that they made their relationship sexual before they wed.
Your Highness Ilion,
Welcome aboard. Always glad to have pretty women join us and contribute to the fray.
Guy
I have some mixed feelings about patriarchy. On the one hand- I can easily blame so much of histories human rights abuses on men ruling the world. On the other hand- It is the nature of man that he must be in charge to take any responsibility at all and a world where men are children and women have all the power and responsibility is not one I want to be in. We are fast becoming a fatherless society and I don’t think we are the better for it. A walk through any inner city neighborhood will testify to the negative impact of fatherless and purposeless men and women.
But I don’t really know how patriarchal a society needs to be for it to work. Can women vote? Can they run for office? Can they have top office? As much as I may value a mans desire to lead I can’t say that women should have no legal power in society outside of their husbands.
I often hear the patriocentrist advocates say that women have always had power through their husbands but that isn’t exactly right. Abigail Adams was a wife with a devoted husband in top office and her pleas for some very reasonable concessions towards ladies went unheeded by her husband.
When men are exclusively around other men often the competitive impulse takes over and they make unwise choices. There has to be some kind of safety net for women against tyranny. At least with women having the vote even an exclusively male government has to make some concessions towards ladies interests if they wish to be re-elected.
violet – I realize that there are practical reasons to abstain from sex. My point was that women are being told to use their sexuality to get what they want from men (marriage). Therefore it is no surprise that those same women see sex as a tool to punish or manipulate their husbands later.
Keep in mind that although a lot of blanket statements are made about women and men here, these things aren’t true for nearly all women and men. Some women don’t bond during sex for example. There are plenty of men who have no trouble looking to the future and plenty of women who can’t see past the present for another example.
There was a time when most women who got married were virgins. That didn’t stop men from treating them badly, cheating on them and so on. Infidelity and abuse didn’t start with feminism. The reason that there are so many divorces now are because women have options other than sticking it out with a verbally or physically abusive man, or cheater. Women are no longer forced to stay in loveless marriages where their needs aren’t being met. Of course that will lead to more divorces. But people having stayed married for longer in the past doesn’t mean that their marriages were any better than they are now. The ability to walk away from a bad marriage is a good thing!
Men clearly abused their power when they had it, which is what lead to feminism. Women who were being treated well by the men in their lives would not be easily convinced that they were oppressed and men were evil. If men had respect for the opposite sex greater than or equal to their own before women’s liberation and feminism then women would not have to fight for basic rights like owning property, education, voting, and not being treated as property. Most women did not have power through their husbands. I think that the government should have to treat men and women the same. The government should not put the male urge to dominate over the rights of women.
Those patriocentrist people are usually crazy. It’s hard to argue that feminism isn’t necessary when there are people who want to take away a woman’s right to vote and own property.
“ I realize that there are practical reasons to abstain from sex. My point was that women are being told to use their sexuality to get what they want from men (marriage). Therefore it is no surprise that those same women see sex as a tool to punish or manipulate their husbands later.”
Actually, it women who “put out” before marriage who tend to be using “their sexuality to get what they want from men (marriage).” The women who don’t tend to be using “their sexuality to get what they want from men (love/respect).”
This is why long courtships are ESSENTIAL –you can even check out family while at it—my sister DID NOT do that and married an ABUSER!! if she knew that his father beat his mother occasionally, she would have second thoughts on marrying him—-I have 2 nieces and 1 nephew : nephew struggles with crack addiction, one niece is divorced, and the other, never married (proper patriarchy is essential–men need to be trained into being gentlemen, and always work [Adam in garden had job,before Eve was made])——matriarchy NEVER WORKS –it’s short term at best—-and now our girls are desperate for male attantion and are gettin improper attention