- Self-centeredness arises from dislike of Self as a person. Narcissism arises from self-hatred. Both emerge from basic need to appreciate Self at expense of others.
- Lack of respect for someone energizes selfishness.
- Pride rises out of accomplishment more than success. More so with men than women.
- Happiness flows out of gratefulness. The broader and deeper the latter, the greater the former.
- Men glance at women passing by. God designed, Nature endows, and hormones energize men as hunters to react to movement detected in their peripheral vision; it’s a primal reaction. A lingering or staring view in the presence of his woman, however, reveals weakness in his respect for her.
- A good work ethic emerges from ever-increasing adult expectations and child-fulfilled responsibilities prior to puberty. Thoughts and lessons learned before puberty carry far more weight and more permanently impact how the adult turns out.
- Depression settles in, de-motivates a person, but motivates others to help. Pressing inward are convictions or beliefs that the depressed person lacks control of themselves, relationships, future actions, or just life. Key words: lacks control.
1115. Where Motivation Begins — Part II
Filed under The mind
Hi Guy,
I’ve noticed my husband glances at other women a lot these days (mid-life). He especially glances at younger women. I’m not sure if the glances amount to staring, but if that becomes apparent, how should I react?
Also, he is a bit depressed these days. I am helping. Any advice?
Thanks.
Your Highness Liz,
Welcome aboard. Always pleased to have another pretty woman join up. As to your questions, consider these points:
• His glances are staring only if you think so, if you take them as disrespectful of you. If you choose Yes, however, your conclusion may be right or wrong.
• His glances are natural, and middle age probably lengthens them. His sense of great virility weakens. He’s reminded by seeing younger females, and so they draw more attention than before. It’s not self-pity, but it affects him similarly but less. He sees himself lacking control over changes in his life. It could be weakened virility that leads to depression, but maybe not. No way to tell.
• As to his depression and your help. Assume it’s not caused by weakened virility, and compensate for everything else in the hopes they will outweigh any virility doubts.
Watch for tomorrow’s post 1116. The prescription for diminishing male arrogance is virtually the same as for lifting manly depression. You can see the rest of the story there.
Guy
“Self-centeredness arises from dislike of Self as a person. Narcissism arises from self-hatred. Both emerge from basic need to appreciate Self at expense of others. ”
Wow Guy! Did u major in psychology? How did you put that together? U are sooo dead on!–How does one cure themselves of this destructive pattern?
Your Uniqueness Jessica,
Good question but out of time. Be back later.
Guy
P.S.
Your questions prompted an article. It’s #1121 published today, 11/30. Thanks.
G.
“A lingering or staring view in the presence of his woman, however, reveals weakness in his respect for her.”
A guy I am fond of (what I know of him) through our first initial meetings stared at me often. I would look at him, neither of us adverting our gaze (no smiles or flirty behavior exchange). What do you make of this?
Funny thing is now he all but avoids eye contact with me(not just staring). Respect or lack there of? Of me or himself?
Your Highness Kaikou,
It’s a rather harsh role reversal. On your “first initial meeting” he stared at you often. On subsequent encounters, he “all but avoids eye contact.”
We can only guess at what it is, but he obviously learned something that wasn’t obvious when the eye communication began. His interest waned or he may have been staring at something/someone beyond you. I suspect you read too much into the initial staring and your expectations arose beyond what he ever earned.
Guy