Reorganized, clarified, and reissued as #1750.
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Ladies, confused about men? This book can end it. Wives lose husbands, but it can be prevented. Bachelorettes lose boyfriends, but it can be foreseen. Mates lose likeability, but it can be reversed. Exes lose dignity, but it can be recovered. So what if the pool of good men appears half empty? By learning the true nature of men, the pool appears half full and much more appealing to female determination and flexible to feminine influence.
So, when we admire our men, they have their need for self-admiration taken care of.
When we do not admire them, they find someone else to confirm to them that they are indeed worthy of admiration.
So they do not turn from us to another because we have lost their admiration. It is that they have lost our admiration for who they are!!! Do I have this right?
I will be thinkin’ on this much today.
Your Hunketteness Tracy,
Basically, you have it right.
One caution, however. You say, “So they do not turn from us to another because we have lost their admiration.” A guy’s admiration of his woman is not as strong a motivational force as is the reverse. But a thin line exists between his admiration and his respect. Loss of respect does motivate a guy to look elsewhere.
Guy
Hi Guy!
Perhaps OT but this post about male self-admiration brought to mind something I’ve wondered about and never found an answer. Do you know the motivation behind men who are socially “awkward”? Not necessarily men who are shy and reserved – I mean men who say things during conversation that are utterly strange and appropo to nothing. For example, the conversation could be about voting or politics and a man says suddenly “I like Pac-Man”. I’ve always wondered what they’re hoping to accomplish by being purposely obtuse and weird. Do they think of themselves as weird and therefore look for ways to confirm that from others? Would that be something that would ever change in them if they were consistently around a female who treated their weirdness without a hint of it being abnormal? How would that behavior fit in with the need for self-admiration?
Thanks in advance for any thoughts!
Your Gloriousness Morning Glory,
Tough questions. I can only speculate so don’t take it as gospel.
I think the most likely cause is social discomfort. They seek to change to more familiar subjects so they can participate. Also, they tend to view their world through mechanical lenses. Switches are very effective, so use them in social settings.
Perhaps a reader will add more.
Guy
As a socially awkward man when I was younger, and given to reflection throughout my life, I’d like to address this question.
Unfortunately, because of the way MorningGlory has put the question, the answer has the dangerous qualities of an iceberg, ignotum per ignotius.
“I like Pac-Man.” – He has in mind a topic he thinks would be enjoyable to discuss and he is trying to draw interest in the way that his interest is drawn: He sees something odd and says to himself “Hello? What is that?”
He’s far more familiar with the experience of being rewarded by investigation of some thing or idea that catches his attention when he’s alone ( and he’s alone much of the time ), than having it introduced to him in conversation amongst people ( which hardly ever happens ).
The common equivalent experience in your life is an advertisement or TV commercial that catches your attention.
To address your question directly, he’s selling.
This leads to “why he is selling”, and then to “why is he selling THIS”, and those are Titanic questions.
Sir Ecclesiastes,
Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another man joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
Guy
I like to believe that men are easy to handle – as simple as to confirm the value of his full accomplishments (not half). Yet I see that hard to do in the future. Isn’t one of many reason for men leaving women that she is one-dimensional?? And since hardheadedness and competing should be left on the shelf when a woman gets married my alarm bells wont stop ringing. I guess I mixed something up here. Could you Mr. Guy please help sort these terms out.
I also have a question about single girls forming single boys/men. On Facebook for instance it is easy to confirm accomplishments of good manners, taste etc by simply clicking ‘Like’ on posts guys post. I do that alot with self-respect in mind but I feel like it makes me stand out in both good and bad ways. I’m the girl that notices when guys (also female friends) try but the case also raises question about how reliable I am for a future spouse I believe?
Btw I loved the series of Boot Camp, silence were due deep concentration and cultural way of respecting Grandpas
Your Forgivingness Tamina,
Regarding your first paragraph, look for my response to Cassy at post 1199 due out Wednesday or Thursday. I think you’ll find your answers.
Re your second para, I’m at a loss for what you’re driving at. I don’t and won’t do Facebook. Why girls throw their mystery away like that is an endless mystery to me.
Re your last para, thanks for finding value in boot camp.
Guy
P.S. Please substitute Saturday for Wednesday and Thursday above. My schedule just go jammed. I will respond but it may be as late as Saturday.
G.
The thing about about the one dimensional woman has also been something I wanted to ask about. I read on a blog called “The Feminine Woman” about how men can get bored and dump you if you always seem like the same sort of person everyday. The lady who writes the blog gave a course you can buy about something like Light and Dark Feminine. I haven’t bought it, but she explains why you need to buy it with a little story about a friend of hers who was always sweet and kind and her boyfriends always dumped her coz they got bored. Just wanted to hear you’re thoughts on it Sir Guy?
A guy friend once told me that he broke up with his girlfriend because she always left it up to him to decide what they were going to do and didn’t “whip” him enough
Is this just about him wanting you for sex or can a man actually get bored if you’re always sweet and shy and modest and leave it up to him to always take the lead? Do we have to spice it up a bit sometimes? Just been pondering over this one a little 
Your Uniqueness Cassy,
You have a unique talent for putting me to work, and I love it. However, my sked today keeps me away. Look for my response WED or THUR.
Guy
P.S. However, my schedule just got jammed. I will respond but it may be as late as Saturday.
G.
Your Inquisitiveness Cassy,
My response to your first para is in article 1203 today and 1204 due out tomorrow.
Re your second para, don’t overlook this as behind a boy’s behavior. You’re very young so the boys you encounter likely run out or never had ideas of how to entertain sweet, shy, and modest girls. May I suggest you have tucked in the back of your mind some of the things YOU would enjoy. You might gently drop a few in a boy’s lap from time to time: visit a library/museum/showplace; attend bible study; sit and watch while you practice with your choir, get a sundae, help research favorite poet, help with homework, take you to church, help screen colleges for possible enrollment, study the bible together and seek his thoughts and opinions.
Now, no boy in his right hormone-driven mind would ever think about such things for a date. That’s great, because he leaves himself open to consider the finer, female-friendly side of life, and you get the chance to gently merge his thinking into yours. If he’s opposed, he lacks sufficient interest in you. If he initiates to do the things you mention, he’s probably sincerely after you or sex. You’re one step closer to finding out if it’s you or sex he’s really after.
Guy
Cassy dear, we have been reading the very same blogg!
I see I’m deeply lacking in keeping my mystery, so I’ll restudy it. Recovery is everything!
Thanks loads Mr. Guy
Great Article.
What’s the line between a woman giving a man adoration and excessive fawning?
How should a woman talk to her husband about an issue she has with him without making him feel like he has lost significance in her eyes?
Your Highness SS,
Welcome aboard. Always glad to have another pretty woman join us on this cruise.
However, my schedule is crowded. I will respond but it may be as late as Saturday.
Guy
“If he initiates to do the things you mention, he’s probably sincerely after you or sex. You’re one step closer to finding out if it’s you or sex he’s really after. ”
So there’s this guy. And he keeps asking whether I want his help or not. (which is unusual male behavior because most guys will just go ahead and help.)[<Has learned something XD] And whether I say 'yes' or 'no' or 'up to you' he always asks me if I'm certain of my answer. And then he walks away.
(He doesn't help.)
So I get the feeling he's not really asking if I want his help. And I can't decide if he's trying to get me to chase him, or to confess a need for him (which might be the same thing?) Just wanting to assert his dominance by getting me to confess that yes, I truly am unable to do the task without his help. Or just trying to see if I'm at all interested in him. (like a test or something.)
What's your take on this, Sir Guy?
Your Princessness Simplicity Evermore,
I can’t figure it out either. But, I add this. He’s more interested in you pleasing him than the opposite. That takes him out of your league, so you waste time even thinking about what makes him tick. Even if you knew what makes him tick, you probably wouldn’t like it or him.
Guy