1299. Coffee and Tea with Mrs. G. — #33


Ladies: I’ve been pondering these treasured nuggets and thought you might enjoy them too.

  • Happiness flows not from what she’s grateful for, but that she is grateful.
  • Female eagerness to hook up, couple up, or shack up severely weakens her influence for shaping her future with that man.
  • Lifetime love builds on her gratefulness for whatever and whoever stabilizes her future and emotional security.
  • Feminism produces among females an attitude of ingratitude for manly behavior. It turns men away from women except in pursuit of sex. Femininity produces an attitude of gratitude that attracts men. It compounds and uses each female’s personal assets and appealing attractions to both capture and hold a man.
  • This poor strategy causes women to lose the war of the sexes. She thinks sex will capture a man, her romancing will confirm him as the right man, and her love will hold him.
  • Don’t judge a man’s respect for a woman by the way he talks, teases, and jokingly complains about her. Judge his respect for her by the overall, large-picture way he treats her.
  • If he considers his ideas superior to hers, it’s not necessarily her but his nature. Feminine charm and anticipation can flush such bias from his head if he doesn’t know what’s happening.

8 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter

8 responses to “1299. Coffee and Tea with Mrs. G. — #33

  1. Tania

    Lady Grace, thanks for your nuggets. You help sell Guy’s wisdom to females with your support, but even more by obviously being quite happy in practicing all these things for 50+ years. ;) I loved your two-month birthday celebration!
    –“Don’t judge a man’s respect for a woman by the way he talks, teases, and jokingly complains about her. Judge his respect for her by the overall, large-picture way he treats her.”
    –This gives me so much to think about. How do you think a woman should handle teasing when it irritates her? I find a little is fun, but at the wrong time it’s like charcoal lighter on briquettes. I would like to try to think myself through to a cooler response.

    Your Highness Tania,

    Sorry, I’m a little slow responding. Guy’s schedule tightened but I asked him to send this.

    If you mean for you to be that way, ‘cooler’ isn’t the right response. If you mean to cool him off, try this. Either teasing makes you smile, or with a disappointed glance you ignore him and everything he does for some logical piece of time. You can of course show your irritation or anger, but the message he receives may confirm what he wanted to do, tick you off.

    If you suspect that he’s trying to tick you off, provide absolute zero feedback except removing yourself from his company. Ignore him in future encounters. IOW, he’s out after one strike instead of the usual three.

    If his teasing turns to pestering you, go LIVE. Stop, broadcast his name loudly, pause long enough for others to look at you, and then angrily say STOP IT. And then just stare him down. Otherwise don’t complain and don’t explain. Let observers imagine what he must have done. At least he will think observers think the worst and likely retreat. Just simply out-dominate him. It should work in any public place.

    Guy

  2. Marianne

    Mrs Guy

    I was just about to ask the same question but Tania beat me to it :)

    1)Men like to tease I know, but sometimes they keep going even when
    it is no longer funny. Once I was in the store and this man was teasing his
    girl and she kept saying ,”Would you please stop?” I could tell by her tone
    she was hurt but he kept on going.I did feel bad for her. What’s a girl to do in such a situation?Fascinating Womanhood has some examples I know, but extreme teasing can be very hard to handle.

    2)Why does a man tease so ? You mentioned that a woman should look at the overall picture of how she is treated by a man and not just how he teases her. Sometimes I have heard husbands say things like

    “Oh my wife and and I have been married 10 long years (with an emphasis on ‘long’ ;then he rolls his eyes and all the guys laugh. The wife laughs
    uneasily .

    “Wow… that girl is hot!” I heard this at a party from a married man
    while his wife was sitting at his side. She made no comment, but later they separated and are now divorced.

    Or how about this :

    “Hey Arnold Swarzenegger can have two women.. what would you do if I did the same?”

    Mrs Guy with the exception of the first example, I actually knew the men
    personally who made those comments. One neighbor I know calls his wife a
    moron when he is mad at her but he will treat his wife to takeout so she doesn’t have to cook sometimes.

    Mrs Guy, what gives? I would love to hear your answer :)
    If its just testosterone, ok..but I am still scratching my head.

    Your Highness Marianne,

    Sorry for delaying the response. Our schedule tightened, but Guy and I finally got the following worked out.

    Re (1), this response to Tania seems appropriate: If his teasing turns to pestering you, go LIVE. Stop, broadcast his name loudly, pause long enough for others to look at you, and then angrily say STOP IT. And then just stare him down. Otherwise don’t complain and don’t explain. Let observers imagine what he must have done. At least he will think observers think the worst and likely retreat. Just simply out-dominate him. It should work in any public place.
    Let your self-respect override your sense of dignity and fear of being noticed for unseemly behavior.

    2) Why does a man tease so? Your example: “Oh my wife and and I have been married 10 long years … etc.” Men associate by not revealing their true feelings about subjects relating to women. They like to joke about something they have in common. It relieves anxieties and puts them in guy-to-guy mode.

    I don’t defend it if wife gets peeved. She can always ask him to quit, but it runs other risks. I suggest that she walk off, leave men to themselves, and don’t complain or explain. It’s just the way she acts when she hears something she doesn’t like. If she walks away when other husbands make such remarks, her husband will soon get the message not to do it. And she will have never said a word to him.

    Your example: “’Wow… that girl is hot! … etc.’” It’s unpardonable and indicates lack of respect for wife. No surprise they’re now divorced. However, women are mightily resilient. I know a man that introduced his 20+ years spouse as “my ugly wife” and her name. They are still together. (I can’t explain why, though.)

    Re duplicating Schwarzenegger, I suggest not trying it. You would be threatening his significance as questionable for deserving you. Worse yet, it would turn his trust of you into pure suspicion. If you can even think that, he thinks, how far have you already gone?

    Re testosterone, of course that’s what it is. You’ll notice as men enter old age they take on a different and less offending tone in front of their wives. Unless they’ve been discouraged by her earlier rejections, his teasing of wife becomes more soft-hearted than hard-headed, more pleasurable than dominance.

    Re the moron wife, he explodes and feels guilty. Men can’t stand to carry guilt, so he forgives himself with take out.

    Guy

    • Marianne

      Sir Guy and Mrs Guy

      Thank you! This is very helpful and thanks to both of you for taking the time and
      trouble to craft some very useful tips. I would never have thought of some of the things you mentioned (and I have tried and tried:)
      Thanks so much!

  3. Not specifically on this post, but just the blog theme in general, I thought this post [on cheating men and the women who allow it and/or don't properly vet their future/potential husbands] was worth a read.

    • Marianne

      Kathy

      Thanks for the link; I just read the article. Something to think about..this goes with Guy’s very frequent reminder..men do what is necessary to have frequent sex.
      Men behave towards us the way we allow them to.
      I also see a lot of articles I would like to read on the blog you posted. Thanks again.

  4. Yay! Thanks for linking to me, Kathy!

    • Great article! The remark about Weiner looking like a turtle out of it’s shell was just too funny.

      Good job pointing out that the emperor has no clothes!

      Jill Farris

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