1509. Friendly Reminders — #2


  • If she refuses unmarried sex, she may be dumped. But he goes away without conquest and with deflated ego. She effectively sends him packing. Her ego remains mostly undisturbed, although self-esteem might take a brief nose dive. If she yields, she may still be dumped. However, he departs with definitely inflated ego and conqueror’s pride.
  • She’s the relationship expert, but trouble brews when she accuses her man of taking her for granted. He becomes defensive, because he takes it personal and competitively and her message doesn’t resonate or even register. Moreover, her accusations suppress both objectivity and cooperation.
  • The male ego feeds on accomplishments but not those that come easily. Unearned gifts, for example, make no lasting impressions. She only makes erasable impressions, when she pushes herself toward him or provides sex with little investment of the heart by him. In that way, she makes herself potentially disposable long before time together can generate a lasting relationship.
  • I quote Miss Terri, a lady that commented on post 376 some 38 months ago. Has anything changed for the better? “Sadly, I have been the witness of the break-up and close to breaking up of numerous marriages. What I am seeing is men married to women who refuse to be wives. I call them non-wives. There is no intimacy, no loving meals prepared, no support for the husband’ goals, vision, and dreams, constant arguing over every request made, no co-operation with their men. Do men in this position really have wives?”

4 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter

4 responses to “1509. Friendly Reminders — #2

  1. kaikou

    I recently came faced with divorce from a work colleague. Up until now it has never been a real life reality just an enigma that I hear so many talk about. I am so curious as to why her husband decided to divorce her (you always hear of women apparently leaving men). From day I sensed this lady was a striven, nothing was ever enough or rather there was always another attainable goal. But obviously that seeped into her marriage. It’s sad. I like her drive, but she either no longer cared for the marriage or let it slip away. Not sure what role the husband played since I don’t know him. It is just astonishing to me.

    Lady Kaikou

  2. balle

    Guy, I need your help immediately , there’s this really quiet guy at school that I keep bumping into at school and last semester that I feel attracted to but I have no idea how to approach him. Like I said he’s the quiet type with glasses in the literature class, how do I make sure to make a good impression?

    Your Highness Balle,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Quit trying to make a good impression. Expect and let him impress you.

    Improve your appearance and then be yourself. Follow your heart. If it says smile at him, then smile. If it says ignore him, do so. If it says introduce yourself, do that. In every case, keep smiling and especially when looking into his eyes. Nothing will make a better impression than letting him see you being yourself at your most attractive, modest, and innocent best. He’s looking for this: smiles, truth, and tips (as opposed to direct knowledge) for figuring you out.

    Guy

    • ballee

      So should I let him do the first move, what about if he actually doesn’t know anything about me liking him? This is college and I doubt he’s thinking in impressing anyone when he sits there to listen to a boring talk for the next 2 hours. He’s so quiet he doesn’t really look at anybody and then leaves . I saw this person on a conference last semester and I was thinking in engaging in conversation about this conference to get the ball rolling. If I wait too much maybe he meets someone else and everything gets lost, is it best if just talk to him already? we only meet two times a week. My smile is not the best thing in the world, my teeth are not in perfect condition and I look weird when I smile anyways. Im not trying to put off your advice but time is passing by…

      Your Highness Ballee,

      Sure starts something if you’re comfortable. But go easy. The object is for him to like you without being sure that you like him. Again, follow your heart.

      Also, get your teeth improved as soon as possible. You won’t have an attractive attitude until you do. Your self-confidence, self-respect, and self-image suffer. I don’t mean not to make contact with the guy. Do what you can where you’re at with what you’ve got. Liking him is sufficient to break the ice.

      Guy

      • ballee22@hotmail.com

        Sounds reasonable, guy do you think that wearing pheromone perfumes (to attract the opposite sex) are unethical or ok to wear around the guy I want to become familiar to?

        Your Highness Ballee,

        Why else do women use perfume? Why would pheromones be unethical?

        Be careful. You’re plotting. It easily leads to disingeniousness, which reduces the value of your character. You seem reasonably close to desperate, so step up to the plate. Use this strategy: up front, blunt, and candid. Get your initital contact over with and live with whatever develops. You’ve pinned too much pressure on yourself, and that isn’t good for however your future turns out with this guy.

        Guy

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