“Many times men don’t know what they want. They need to be in charge but want to please. It’s their nature!” [Anon… at 577]
“I AM a better person for choosing to love him and for submitting to the idea of a great marriage over feeling romanced on a regular basis.” [Ramona at 1461]
“I’ve noticed when there’s an overindulgence of these characteristics, vices appear. For men, it’s pride (with overindulgence of self-admiration) and for women, it’s vanity, envy, or gossip, or a combination of any of these (with overindulgence of self-importance). As a woman, it’s easier for me to identify what I often see with women. By providing men with admiration, and women with importance, both sexes can interact harmoniously.” [Laceagate at 1460]
“Then a few hours later, [my mother] said to me when we were alone: That boy is not afraid of me. If he really loved you, he should be a little afraid of me.” Joanna at 1464]
“I love what one writer has said (in contrast to the 1960′s, “I am woman. Hear me roar.”). She says “As women, we have the power of the whisper.” [Sharon at 1512] [NOTE: Lady Day said the first quote came out in 1973.]
“Many, many women — perhaps out of their woundedness — advocate manipulation (instead of indirectness), aloofness (instead of principled feistiness), superiority (instead of respect), etc. The differences might sound minor, but my experience has been that they instead are a gulf… and one avenue leads women to crustiness and increased discontent, whereas the other leads them to gentleness and increased peace.” [Not-so-annomymous Anne at 1409]
“Men are no longer content to be gentlemen and protect women; they feel the need to conquer incessantly and brag to their buddies. It’s no wonder you are all single and miserable and hate women. In your minds we have become the enemy – you make us adversaries instead of allies.” [Lauren about Guy Jr. at 1495]
Hello I have been reading your blog for a while now and this is my first time commenting and this statement ” ALoofness (instead of principled fiestiness)” is perplexing to me. What is principled fiestness? Fiestyness to achieve what? Aloof to what? I would greatly appreciate an explaintion. Thank you.
Your Highness E,
Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
Guy
Hmmm… here is what I meant: Aloofness to her man is similar, in my mind, to “the silent treatment” used to make him feel her chill and go trembling to fulfil her wishes. I think of it as opposite to “principled fiestiness” which enables a woman to stick to her guns (principles bigger than herself) with a little “pizzaz”!! If this helps: the aloofness is (in my view) aimed at basically irritating the man into action; principled feistiness is aimed at achieving goals with his help (and therefore not aimed at making the man suffer in the process… and perhaps even aimed at keeping things light and non-confrontational so he feels like working with her on her goals in the future!)
In terms of your other questions, I would say “aloof to her man” and “fiesty to achieve what Guy calls a better-and-brighter future for herself.”
Please let me know if that answered your questions, E; if not, I would like to try again.
Your Highness Anne,
Well said. Very clear and wise. Thanks.
Guy
Forgot to add: in the process of irritating her man into action (aloofness), I notice a lot of women becoming awfully irritated themselves! In fact, the few times I tried this (unsucessfully) with my husband, I got much more irritated than he did, and much faster! I stash “aloof” in my bag of “tried-that-and-doesn’t-work” both because it didn’t motivate my man AND because it was emotionally exhausting.
Principles feistiness focuses on the goal, so I think it begets cooperation, polite conversation, and a “two heads are better than one” mentality. Plus, it is more respectful.
Oh ok. Now I understand. Thank you