Ladies,
Women complain that Jack doesn’t know jack about Jill and lacks dedication to climb their hill. Men complain that women don’t know jack about Jack and wonder, What hill?
For 4.5 years, readers have suggested I tell men how to more effectively associate with and respond to women. I explained my reluctance this way: Men don’t listen to other men about how to handle or deal with women.
However, the time has come to encourage you ladies to unload. I request your favorite and less favorite complaints. I’m ready to prepare a manifesto that provides guidance for men interested in more effectively pleasing the women in their lives.
Just attach your complaints/comments to this post and thank you.
Guy
Ever see the movie “Bus Stop”! I’d like to have gentleman study it! I’d even give a quiz!
The cowboy assumes he can rope the lady like a little cow. He tries to claim her, brand her and not hear her or stop to feel the effects of his cold controlling behavior! It turns her off! It shuts her down! BUT when her refusals baffle him he starts to pay attention. THEN they connect as a couple when he realizes what he is doing is shutting her down. Then he treats her like a lady. I would love for men to study this!
Your Highness An Avid Follower And A Lady,
Good description of the story line that I never interpreted that way. I haven’t seen Bus Stop since I started the blog. Now at top of Netflix queue. Thanks.
Guy
Dear Sir Guy
AND Thank You for all you do!!! You have no idea how you have brightened my world with this blog!!!
Even your reply to my comment enlightens me. I would have thought that the battle between the cowboy and the girl in the film was quintessential WWNH! Now I am challenged again by the fact that it was not all that transparent to a real pro! It further challenges me to slow down and listen to my man very carefully and not feel hurt right away if I feel misunderstood. There have been moments where he has given me the real deer in the headlamps look! It has taken prayer, love and this blog.
Thank you.
An Avid Follower And A Lady
Sir Guy,
For me, the biggest complaint is the “safe playing” gestures when attempting to lead a woman into first date and beyond. Some call it passive, sensitive, or lack of boldness. Examples include passing out phone numbers, inability to make a plan, indirect communication, and giving up too soon.
Here’s an example from an email I just got this morning…
Him: I hope I didn’t say anything dorky, lol. Anyway, if you’d like to text or talk, share struggles, etc., my cell is (cell number). If I don’t hear back from you, may God bless you always!!
gee, i’m just in the right mood to read that and go ‘for crying out loud man up or move of’f’
Now this really makes me laugh out loud. Thank you.
You’re welcome, it was pleasurable to write it. And thank you for providing the example that triggered the expression my most favourite man complaint.
Ok, here is my complaint: I call it (Madame That Horse’s correspondent’s written communication) ‘unmanly’, ‘reeking of dishonesty;, ‘cowardly’ and i had better stop there in the interests of my own dignity and self respect.
Gentlemen become more admirable and handsome when they use their manly strength for protecting me rather than trying to wear me down for unmarried sex.
Yeah!
Perfect timing…..lack of directness. I admire men for their directness. So why do they stop being direct and doing what works …. I agree with thathorseisdead – follow through do not stop what is working just ride it out.
Candice
Mr. Guy,
My favorite: My husband does alot for us – plans trips, give me gifts, takes care of all the household expenses; he truly is a protector/provider. I love this about him and want to thank him for all he does – however, I don’t think I know how… specially since he thinks is his way of showing his love for our family..
Not so Favorite – probably what drives me crazy: He is very independent, to tha point where there isnt a lot of communication about things; expenses, households everyday life and he seperates his life into buckets: family, work, friends, etc. my biggest area of concern is that he doesn’t share anything about work or friends. I just take this as he doesn’t want me to be involved in anything other than home stuff.
How can I address this -
Your Highness Wife,
My schedule has tightened too much. I’ll respond in a day or two.
Guy
Men often take women attempting to help them as lack of confidence in their abilities. Many times it’s not. Even if they want to do it all on their own, perhaps simply giving their lady something that she can help with would allow him to stay in control of the situation and make her feel like she’s being helpful to him.
Your Highness Denise,
You’re right, but there’s a more volatile aspect. If he does invite her to assist with task or job, women have this incredible manner of finding another way to do something, of interfering with his thinking, plan, or execution. Then, he not only thinks she lacks confidence, but he sees it coming from her ignorance of what he’s doing or intends to do within his well-thought-out plan. After repeated inteferences, she may appear to him as more ignorant than cooperative or compatible.
Guy
Dear Sir Guy,
How true.
It smacks of disrespect to him. That is toxic to his heart.
St. Paul says “Bear one another in love.” Whatever she says, if she says it with love and respect he will love her more for it. There will be peace. AND sometimes silence equals love. It will only help him. It will inspire him.
An Avid Follower And A Lady