Her Highness Anonymous asked at post 1660, “What are some examples of how one shows unconditional respect for the male gender? What about to boyfriends/husbands?”
Put simply, unconditional respect acknowledges and shows regard for masculine characteristics that are highly esteemed by men. Men sense it when women show they agree with men’s convictions about their gender and expectations. For example, men are convinced:
- They are the dominant sex. They only have to show or impose it when they are not sufficiently respected—as a person first, man second, and boyfriend/husband third.
- They consider ‘duty’ as an obligation for which appreciation is neither earned nor due. Man-think says this: Do your duty and get on with life, because it’s the right thing to do. A man’s job is his ultimate duty, because it enables him to provide and protect his family. The reverse isn’t possible, because in masculine logic his family can’t provide and protect his job.
- They produce, protect, provide, problem solve, and are particularly handy to have around. They far outshine women doing those things. In return, men expect it as a woman’s duty to show appreciation for her man’s accomplishments by helping him recover from today’s battles and prepare for tomorrow’s. Her help puts him back on the ‘firing line’. (Wives crave more affection than they get. But man-think sees so much of what women do as duty that they don’t render the appreciation much less the affection expected by woman-think. Not trying to alibi for men, just saying that part of the shortfall to display affection comes from what men perceive as duty without considering that women see duty as deserving of recognition and reward.)
- Men compete to control life events. Mostly against Nature and other men, but they also compete with women for a couple’s first sex together. (Otherwise, they don’t compete with women out of fear they will suffer defeat and embarrassment by the weaker sex.)
- Men don’t appreciate unearned gifts, so women show more respect when they give in recognition of what a man does or did rather than who he is. Specific citations impress the most, such as gift for helping sick child to recover, frequently serving wife breakfast in bed, or housekeeping while wife was away. (Men need self-admiration, which comes from accomplishments other than fulfilling obligations considered to be duty.)
- Overly expensive gifts can insult a man. Men see themselves as very capable decision makers about cost of something against its useful worth. For example, never give a man a new lawnmower or car (as if likely). He intuitively knows he could have made a better deal. Moreover, the deal was a competitive event that could lead to a major accomplishment and add to his significance. An overly expensive gift takes that opportunity away from him.
Women and especially wives modify those masculine expectations to be more agreeable and female friendly. When they do, unconditional respect for the male gender deteriorates. Better ways exist than going up against the male nature.
Men are born hardhearted, but a small amount of the milk of human kindness oozes out when they can help a woman or child to whom they have no other obligation. You’ve heard of it this way: Men love to rescue damsels in distress.
- Give men opportunities to look good to a woman. Don’t be so quick to rescue yourself from distress. Show more dependence than self-sufficiency. Don’t wait for modern men to ‘man up’ and help you. Boldly ask for their assistance. Suggest, request, and let men do things for you, especially strangers in public. If you spill packages, let them help you. If you stumble/trip/break a heel, then expect the nearest man to escort you to a seat. Wait politely for men to open doors, seat you at table, allow you to proceed first, and reward them only with a warm smile.
- (Whatever the man does for you, he considers it a duty. So, a “thank you” isn’t nearly as impressive as this: “Men are never more handsome than when they help a lady.” Also, women are never prettier than when they flash an appreciative smile at a man who doesn’t expect anything more than that. It’s his duty to help her and a smile is quite adequate. Women don’t think that way, and many men have been feminized to expect “thank you” as required for every situation.
- Unconditional respect means treat him like a man rather than like a woman, so an appreciative smile counts for more than words. It also adds mystery, which a ‘thank you’ doesn’t. I’m not saying not to give a “thank you.” I’m trying to say that it leaves the impression of conditional rather than unconditional respect. It also ranks far behind “A man is never more handsome than when he…” and an appreciative smile. Men recognize appreciation in a woman’s smile, so her sincerity is vital.)
- This will test your grit and determination and help a guy to ‘man up’. Don’t just let but gently insist that your date choose and place the order for your food. Give him a hint if you’re allergic or can’t physically tolerate certain foods. Let him gnaw on it while he studies the menu and makes his decision. If he tries to dodge the responsibility and get you to order your own, say this: “But men are never more handsome than when they know the right thing to do for a woman. I’ll accept and enjoy your decision as much as the food. It’s a promise.” You’ll soon find out if he’s el-cheapo or not, has radical taste buds, or if he goes head over heels to please you. How does he handle opportunities that you present, to please you or himself? Whether you do or don’t eat what he orders, don’t complain and don’t explain. Smile as if all went well and expect to see him ‘man up’ proudly after a few repeats.
- When men speak to you, look directly in their eyes with an interested countenance. If they have to repeat something, watch their lips to confirm it in your mind.
- If a man talks to others, he says something important. So, listen by looking at him. If boyfriend/husband speaks to others, especially before an audience, keep your eyes admiringly on his face. A glance at you can reinforce his confidence. Don’t be looking around. It diverts listeners’ attention from him, reveals a weaker respect of you for him, and lessens the influence of his words at a time when he expects his words to impress or influence.
Unconditional respect has two sides. She admires masculine differences, but it’s only possible in her female heart if combined with moral behavior. He perceives her admiration as special significance. It triggers his heart to generate the foundation of love for her, namely conditional respect for her and unconditional respect for her gender.
Consider this traditional concept. Our foremothers dominated cultural values. They did it by showing unconditional respect for men doing all the moral things in life but condemning immoral behavior by refusing to both respect and associate. The more morally ideal a man lived his life, the more highly regarded and sought after he became. As one would expect, women had many men of quality character with whom to mate.