This series describes the male and female natures from which I figure out the origins, interactions, and conclusions described in the blog. This is the second of eight primal urges from the give-and-take balance of which marital compatibility arises.
Her drive to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones versus his need of a place to rest, recover, and prepare for tomorrow.
A man has one primal need, namely a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s battles with extra emphasis on the last. It takes little to satisfy this need. Whatever his growing up, he learned how to find, provide, and value it.
Women pursue one primal urge. They are driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. Mother-love amplifies the drive exponentially and easily outweighs a mother’s other natural urges.
Simplified, marital compatibility arises from the balance of this: She needs to nest, and he needs to rest. It immediately brings to mind the claim that wives’ work is never done, while husbands lay around doing nothing. The claim when too easily concluded and defended by wives, however, poisons compatibility with jealousy, envy, and other negative pressures. Such wives ignore the value of how God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize men and women differently.
Women have one mission in life, which is to live a life good for her and her offspring. Her mission is never completed, and she always sees more that needs to be done. Her natural conscientiousness pushes her to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones all day and into the evening. She demonstrates her love with direct actions caring for others, and reinforces her love with never-ending support activity. She does it for many hours every day simply because her nature pushes her that way. Something else always needs doing. Unless she rejects it, she daily pursues what makes her feel good about herself nesting, nurturing, and nestling.
Men have many missions throughout both the day and life. The distinctly different character of those missions pushes men to prepare for the next one by resting in between. In effect, each new day is a new mission crammed with leftover and uncompleted missions waiting to be tackled tomorrow. Recovery and preparation require ‘dead time’, the kind that particularly irritates wives whose nature keeps them in ‘never stop or quit’ mode.
Thus, marital compatibility arises out of the balance of wife’s drive to nest and husband’s need to rest. Primal drive pushes her, but need outranks drive when push comes to shove in the dominance arena.
QUIZ: Which mate has the greater need for the other on the differences just described? If one has the greater need, who has the greater worth? If one’s worth is greater, should the other’s gratitude match it?
Part 4 posts tomorrow with her want of mate versus his want of freedom.