1675. Marital Compatibility Starts with Sex Differences — Part 5

Starting at 1671, this series describes the foundation from which come the interactions and conclusions described in the blog. This is the fourth comparison of eight primal urges that require the give-and-take balance so essential for compatibility.

Her focus on the future versus his focus on the present.

Both sexes are dreamers. A man dreams of WHAT he expects to produce someday. The road is unclear, but he lives each day by advancing toward his dreams. He shapes physical conditions and human events. Recognizing that he’s capable of handling whatever interferences arise, he handles obstructions as they come up.

Also, his primal readiness to compete mandates more attention be paid to today’s challenges. His sense of significance arises from daily accomplishments enroute to his dreams, and so he naturally takes care of what matters today. His daily accomplishments help fulfill his primal need for self-admiration (more in part 6). Lack of success in his eyes, however, leads to thoughts of insignificance and depression can follow.

A woman dreams of HOW she expects to live in the future. The road to her dream is cluttered with innumerable obstructions and others’ objections that must be overcome in the process of living daily.

She dreams of the kind and process of life she hopes to achieve someday. She lives each day modifying and intensifying her efforts according to the grand scheme of life shaped by mate and others around her.

She focuses primarily on generating a brighter future for her and offspring. Also, normal defense against natural fear of abandonment by her mate triggers greater concern about future life.

Actually, women take advantage of the present. They look for ways to make forthcoming life more promising. A woman doesn’t enter the day empty-headed. She naturally handles her present-day concerns and activities as the result of earlier anticipation, planning, and attitude adjustment. Day-by-day planning keeps her focused on the future and vice versa.

Women tirelessly influence those with whom they live. A woman’s sense of control over her life revolves around success in ‘rocking the cradle’ and influencing her mate to help shape the future. Her lack of success leads easily to depression. The harder she tries and fails, the more easily depression plagues her. The less demanding and more accommodating she tries to influence others, the less likely depression haunts her. (She comes by depression much easier than men do, but it’s just another difference in the sexes.)

To men, today is yesterday’s tomorrow. To women, today determines tomorrow.

QUIZ: Which spouse needs and what should trigger the greater help of the other? What marital conditions should command more respect and attention for the future than the present? For the present than the future?

Editorial Addendum: Simplified when both sexes predominantly follow their nature, men dominate society and the workplace, and women dominate the home and the culture. That condition existed before the highly successful sexual and cultural revolutions of the late 20^th Century. We now see that men dominate all four institutions of society, workplace, home, and culture. The smothering kudzu vine of Feminism continues to strangle female influence, encourage male dominance, and intensify patriarchy.

As women continue to lose influence over their future, depression sets in, heavy eating follows to relieve dislike of self, weight gain further contaminates the female future, and prettifying herself for herself dies as a way of making her world more attractive. The female nature continues to seek a brighter future. However, female influence deteriorates and males ignore female interests and exploit female inferiority more easily than ever before.

Part 6 posts tomorrow with the primary motivational force that pushes men and women onward and upward.

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