Planned as a review, this series started with post 1671 and runs consecutively to this summary and an editorial addendum planned for tomorrow. The series describes the primal urges of both sexes and how natural motivational forces help or hinder marital compatibility. Other motivational factors have the greater impact on compatibility—for instance, personal beliefs, values, and emotional makeup. However, compatibility predominantly rests upon the natural makeup of the sexes balanced such that spouses are satisfied with each other.
The following summarized thoughts should be connected in background of every woman’s mind and be taught to young girls in bits and pieces as their maturity justifies it.
- Women seek to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones and work endlessly to brighten the future of everyone involved. Living well is their mission. They intuitively recognize that men can produce, accumulate, and protect wealth for the good life much easier than women can, and the promises of greater wealth leads to a brighter future for a man’s mate.
- Men don’t spend much time worrying about the future. They expect to handle whatever comes. They’re driven to overcome the obstructions of Nature, compete with other men, and shape human events. They strive to create and connect multiple events so that their activity promises a win each day. Their concerns about tomorrow shift to routine rest and preparation. That’s where a mate comes in.
- However, the more worrisome, promising, or rewarding a man’s job, the less attention he likely pays to his mate. It has little to do with her worth to him but depends on his dedication to fulfill the primary mission in his life. If he can’t produce, provide, protect, and problem solve for himself, then he has no business trying to do the same for others. His sense of significance arises out of accomplishments large, small, routine, and special plus his dreams for expanding, building on, and enhancing previous achievements.
- Both sexes are dreamers. A man dreams of WHAT he expects to produce someday. The road is unclear, but he lives each day by advancing toward his dreams. He shapes physical conditions and human events. Recognizing that he’s capable of handling whatever interferences arise, he handles obstructions as they come up. A woman dreams primarily of a brighter future for her and offspring. She anticipates with great diligence. To men, today is yesterday’s tomorrow. To women, today determines tomorrow.
- One prime motivational force pushes harder on each sex than all the others in their respective makeups. Men need self-admiration, and their accomplishments provide feedback to fulfill that need. Women need to feel self-important, and feedback from others helps fulfill that need.
- Women are the simpler sex in this case. They fear abandonment, first from father while growing up and from husband after mating up. Men are complex. They fear insignificance primarily that of being unable to accomplish what they intend. A man can’t live with a well-respected mate who even hints that he’s not respected for who he is and she’s not grateful for what he does. Pledged to earn her respect and gratefulness, if he fails to earn both, then he’s insignificant in her eyes. Whether he feels insignificant or not, he can’t or won’t live with someone that he senses harbors even the suspicion of it.
- A woman’s internal and primal sense of prettiness is the base of her importance, and her natural modesty protects it. Prettiness made more attractive attracts men. Her prettiness adds to marital compatibility to the degree that she confirms it regularly to herself in order to feel good and better about herself. A wife further promotes marital compatibility by enhancing husband’s routine and daily appearance to improve his influence in his competitive world with other men.
The eight primal urges cited at the start thus make up the underpinnings of marital compatibility. Without finding balance to the satisfaction of both spouses, rumble strips and threat of marital failure appear after romantic love fades in a year or two, if they don’t appear sooner for balance having never been achieved.
I close the series tomorrow with an editorial addendum.