1681. Marital Compatibility Starts with Sex Differences — Part 11

Editorial Addendum: Parts 1-10 described compatibility at the micro level. This closing installment describes the macro world that applies pressure from outside to help or hinder compatibility. As I use the terms, society is what we all do, and culture is why we all do it.

Four institutions of American life have competing interests—home, workplace, society, and culture. Back in the day, marriages were helped by the constant competition. Today, influential social and domestic pressures continually disrupt marital harmony. The causes and effects traditionally worked like the following, and greater number implies greater ability to dominate.

When both sexes are free and predominantly follow their own nature, men dominate the workplace because they can. They also dominate society, because society is the product of interacting workplaces more than interacting homes. Women dominate the home out of necessity to breed marital harmony. They dominate the culture by rocking the cradle and influencing husbandly decisions to use the workplace to make society more female-friendly.

As husbands used to outnumber bachelors, society became more as women wanted it. Husbands dominated and used the workplace to shape society with slow but inexorable wifely influence. Wifely expectations influenced men to tame the West, clean up cities, and civilize society so that children had a more advanced and beneficial life according to wifely standards. Without making it obvious their wife insisted, husbands slowly imposed female cultural values across society. Goodness flooded society as females sought to squeeze out evil. The values of singles remained subordinate to those of married folk.

By elevating the home with family values, women made it the most important institution. In other words, women established and ‘enforced’ the dominant values that determine why we all do what we all do. (It’s for another time, but America merged two male-dominated religions into our female-dominant Judeo-Christian culture, the most free, prestigious, respected, and envied culture in human history. Apparently by God’s design to promote marriage, single women can never dominate the culture. Male dominance too easily overpowers unmarried female values.)

No longer, but bachelors use to admire husbands. They captured the best women, kept good wives, and raised good children.

Husbands worked away from home and admired wives’ modesty, moral scruples, and ability to smooth the kinks out of family life. Wives came to dominate their homes and children were raised to accept responsibility and follow into married life.

Wives built a backlog of expectations for their husbands to introduce into the workplace and society. The culture evolved with female and wifely values interwoven with husband’s possibilities and practicalities.

The Marxist-inspired sexual and cultural revolutions of the late 20th Century upset that apple cart. After the 1960s, the dominant social and domestic pressures produced causes and effects unfriendly to both females and families.

• When husbands admire bachelors for being single, single men assume dominance of society and impose their values such that women lose dominance of the culture and consequently the home.
• When husbands lose respect and admiration of their wives’ modesty and moral scruples and admire their ability to raise good children, husbands wish to be single again.
• When wives are unable to keep husband’s respect and admiration, men dominate the institution of the home, which minimizes female influence in shaping cultural values, standards, and more-civilizing expectations.
• When single men outnumber husbands, society becomes less friendly and meaningful for females and children.

The smothering kudzu vine of Feminism continues to pit women against men. Feminist propaganda intends to ‘genetically engineer’ patriarchy into matriarchy, or so the original ‘feminazis’ claimed. Disregarding the legal, political, and economic advances made by women about which I find no fault, the macro social and domestic fallout work to destroy marital compatibility and mate-for-life relationships.

• The females’ importance has been deflated for all but sex and the demeaning of men.
• Female influence in shaping human events has been crippled. For simply being human and worthy as such, they get little respect or recognition without using sex or money.
• Husbands begrudge bachelors their independence, and bachelors exploit their freedom from female influence.
• Feminine dominance of home and value-setting of the culture have been killed by demeaning morality and the social and domestic blessings of scruples, character, and family as the best environment for future generations.

Given all the outside pressures imposed on marital stability, small wonder that so many marriages succeed. When I boil all of it down to one reason, I credit the Judeo-Christian value system that arose out of the political and economic freedom provided by our constitutional system of limited government. Unfortunately, the ‘limited’ concept has been erased from modern thought and political and economic freedom are endangered and compatibility is further threatened. But that’s also for another time.

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