Her Highness Meer, a newbie, commented at post 1635 as follows: “I am 22, and am very immature emotionally. but I find it hard to respect most men. I’ve only respected 2 guys before. I’m terrified of life.” My response follows.
Your Highness Meer,
What a huge blessing you have. You know who and what you are. Your worth to yourself and others has been disguised by wrongful beliefs and discouraging habits of thought. Someone in your upbringing loaded you with a fright wig and mask. You can just rip them off, if you muster the courage to think differently and change in response.
Age 22 is fantastic but prone to emotional immaturity. So what? You moved out of adolescence physically, so why not mentally? It requires that you change your habits of thought. Avoid such thinking as “very immature emotionally” and “I find it hard” and “I’m terrified.” Unfortunately you can’t just NOT think about those things. You have to replace them with new and better thoughts, those easier to accept and live with.
First, I suggest you start by following the daily ‘pretty time’ schedule proposed in articles 1440 and 1441 and the articles mention therein. Make ‘pretty time’ the dominant HABIT in your life, the thing with an importance above everything else. If you do it, you will set the stage to decorate your life with the blessings that most women enjoy.
Second, decorate your life with adages and principles that you study each day. Post the following near your mirror and take five minutes immediately after ‘pretty time’ for daily review and consideration. Make them habitual to your daily thoughts:
- Many people prefer the misery of certainty to the uncertainty of change. Do I?
- I can respect no one more than I respect myself. What can I do today to elevate my self-respect?
- God provides me with self-love. Why not claim it myself?
- Dislike of myself can’t be changed, but it can be suppressed and eventually conquered by helping others get what they want out of life.
- At various times and reasons, every woman dislikes herself. (Men too) The good life comes not from avoiding it (impossible) but from finding ways to minimize it.
- When my thoughts turn internally to focus on me, I find a way to externalize. It’s only a habit, and I can change it.
Third, study the articles listed in the CONTENTS page at blog top that begin with these titles: Respect, Respectable, Adolescent, and Adolescence.
Fourth, if you don’t already, dream a lot about what you want out of life. Adopt the ‘dream accomplished’ plan described in the VICTORY page at blog top.
Fifth, don’t worry about not trusting men. Show each of them unconditional respect for who they are and gratitude for what they do. Eventually, a respectable man will rise out of the passing parade, one whom you can trust. (Patience is a blessing that women glorify when they use it.)
Sixth, start and post daily to a journal about all the successes you had that day. Don’t post and forget all the losses, mistakes, and fears you encounter each day.
Being terrified of life is the result of your upbringing. God designed, Nature endows, and hormones energize you with hardheadedness and softheartedness to face the world with countless blessings. You only need to find those blessings. You can start by recognizing the power of self-confidence, self-respect, modesty, dignity, feminine mystery, and many other traits and characteristics that you already have in abundance. You only need to act as if you have them in order to find and appreciate them.
If many more of your blessings don’t soon become obvious, drop us a comment with details.