Her Highness 1mother5sisters6daughters took exception and perhaps offense at my comments about skin-tight maternity clothing. My response follows with each of her questions answered.
Your Highness, I’m not critical of you, but answers necessitate criticism of Feminism.
Please accept these two points as foundation of what follows later. (1) I base my thoughts on the highly different primal natures of men and women before emotions, beliefs, and experiences become the primary shapers of their behavior. In that domain, the sexes are vastly different but compatible for marriage. See posts 1671-81 for details. (2) Modern beliefs and practices about maternity and childbirth evolved out of indoctrination started by political radicals and propagandized by feminists. The resulting political movement energized females to view their gender as equal to or better than the other, which to this day pressures men to prove the opposite. In present-day society, the sexes are expected to be more alike, which pushes them toward incompatibility.
Your and my incompatibility of thought flows out of those differences, so let me defend myself as if I speak for my gender.
As women have claimed for a decade or so, you say: “I always thought that when the styles changed from ‘tent’ to snug that it was a compliment to the women. She is not and need not be ashamed of her condition. It is the crowning jewel of the women—the pregnant belly. I think pregnant women are so cute and especially when they show their beautiful round belly. Why would we hide it?”
- It sounds great and should please virtually all females. But remember this: Women grew that attitude with feminist help. It’s the result of woman-think and woman-talk, while simultaneously demeaning and ignoring man-think and man-talk.
- Feminists spouted compliments about ‘snug’ over ‘tent’, and the attitude spread for decades. Who is uplifted? Women! Who is downplayed and obviously less important? Men! How successful have you and others been in relationships by making men less important? Does it get you anywhere? Does it promote compatibility? Feminists propagandized ways in which the sexes are alike by promoting the political benefits of females and demoting the natural benefits of males.
- A very good reason to hide the pregnant belly is that it stimulates masculine thoughts of ugly, and men expect women to avoid that. As hunter-conquerors, they don’t look for or have much regard for unsought targets. Her condition, and to some measure her appearance, is the exclusive business of her husband.
- To the male eye, tee-shirted pregnant women also reflect poorly on their gender. Why stress unattractive features? Remember, I’m talking about the male nature. In reality, many empathetic men have been socialized for one reason or another to accept a woman’s appearance, perhaps as a right. Their primal nature prefers something else, but they go along to get along. It’s the result that feminists intended.
You ask, “How are we mocking our female nature?” You’re impregnated, after which the father is extraneous except as you have already bred compatibility within your relationship. He has personal concern with your belly, but others don’t. So, why should other men be made so aware of what’s none of their business. You’re rubbing their noses in your blessings, but men don’t find much benefit in the blessings of others—unless they helped create it of course.
You ask, “How is it not modest?” It depends on whether you ask a man or woman. Whether pregnant or not, the bare stomach area is close enough to erogenous zones to remind men of sex. However, when the beauty of a flat stomach is warped such that it distorts the masculine imagination about erogenous areas, a woman shines immodestly and appears not far from being willing to ‘show it all’. Mystery thus vanishes in the male mind. Instead of wearing sex on her sleeve, she wears it beneath a tee-shirt. That’s not modest to the male nature. Men don’t think much about modesty, but the absence of it reminds them of sex. However, they respect the concept and presence of modesty since it’s unique to the female gender.
You ask, “How am I making my hubby look like a wuss?” By appearing dressed in a way that makes him look PW to other men. Letting his woman expose herself that way reflects disrespect on either his poor judgment or lack of ‘bossing’ the home. If he’s no more in charge of his home, how does he deserve the respect he has outside it. Does wife know something we (as natural male competitors) don’t?
You ask, “I would never want to offend a man and so I need to know how it is that I am doing that when I ‘show off’ my pregnant belly.” You misapplied my general statement to you personally. You aren’t personally offending men. My statement claims that tee-shirted bellies “also take public eyes away from the pleasant motherly glow that lights and prettifies each pregnant woman’s face. It’s an obvious offense to male eyes and perhaps intended that way.” [Intended by feminists, I should have added.]
You say, “Really…I had NO idea that the way I dressed was considered ugly and offensive to other men.” I hope you don’t take it as hard as you sound. Feminists victimized all women by propagandizing political views to offend the male gender. On the other hand, men view you with considerable if not great respect. You’re so blessed with children and hubby as to also be insulated from worry about outside opinions and influences. Your life is already confirmed as GREAT to others. Your boat is sailing too smoothly to upset the balance by changing your habits.
You say, “I would love suggestions on how to be charmingly subtle…perhaps from other female readers who would be happy to mentor me in this area.” To be as successful as you already are, you must already have an abundance of charm and subtle ways. Why change?
You say, “My hubby never let on.” It’s a good indication that he respects you deeply and presumes that you know best in most of what you do. Marriage doesn’t get much better than that, provided you reciprocate.
Finally, you close with this: “Please help me to see and understand.” You already do. You can’t be mothering eight and expecting the ninth without already seeing and understanding everything of importance in your world. Keep rowing that boat. Er, excuse me, keep your husband happy with your gratitude, farm prosperous with teamwork, and your kids jumping with joy to welcome a new sibling.
Bless you and yours,