- To men, women cheat one way: physically. To women, men cheat two ways: physical sex only or sex with emotional connections involved. Wives always suspect the latter. Physical-only sex weakens wife’s self-respect but doesn’t threaten her with abandonment. She has options, because her emotional connections with him remain intact, at least relative to the ‘other woman’. On the other hand, his emotional connections with another woman do threaten his woman with being left alone. Until she decides which kind of infidelity she faces, his woman acts irrationally in her man’s eyes. Irrationally because men can neither grasp nor understand that emotional fidelity is more important to women than physical fidelity. They are very different. If he cheats, she wants to talk. If she cheats, he wants to walk.
- People like to claim that they respect others. However, one sure sign exists that it’s not as they claim. Parents show disrespect for everyone else, if they don’t teach manners and self-discipline to their children. It’s also a sign they don’t respect their own kids, who enter adulthood unprepared to succeed at the peak of their talent and skill.
- Normally, men neither think nor speak of it, although they might exaggerate, simulate, or proclaim it in order to conquer women. Women created the concept of being loved as if ‘on a pedestal’ to encourage girlhood dreams. It reflects self-centeredness quite normal to girls. However, such self-centered expectations in adulthood breed disharmony with a man.
1725. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 67
Filed under Dear daughter
Sir Guy,
Yesterday I got called “sassy” by a male co-worker. Can you explain this term? To my mind (and I would assume most woman) I find this as an insult, even though it was used to flirt with me. Is there anything feminine about being “sassy”? I am very quiet at work, so I find it funny that the moment I spoke, I’m viewed as “sassy”. It all comes in the same week that I had to be hardheaded with another male co-worker and male manager after they left their manners at home and wanted to act like rowdy schoolboys. To my astonishment, it worked (or did it) because they are now very gentlemanly around me.
Do you know why, Sir Guy? I’m kind of at a loss.
Your Highness Kaikou,
Its a compliment. Congratulations for imposing your feminine value system in the workplace.
Without being offensive, you straightened out some guys who got out of hand. They good naturedly accept you standing up for yourself and call you ‘sassy’ to save face. It implies that they expect more of the same out of you. Subliminally, its an invitation to keep them in line according to your FEMININE (not just personal preference, so don’t get angry) standards. It also means their respect for you has been enhanced.
Guy
Thanks Sir Guy. I’m glad it worked too! Question: What do you make of men whose first words are negative? Or they try to flirt with you, by taking you down a notch? I of course ignore such guys, but they seek me out (and I assume most women) to put a gray cloud over our day.
Kaikou
Your Highness Lady Kaikou,
Ignore them except smile big to yourself (even if you have to fake it) and depart their company or ignore their presence. Go for casting mystery into their face and never anything else. Feel good for having done what you plan of not rising to their challenge, whether flirt or otherwise.
Guy
What about women who speak negatively and try to put a gray cloud over our day? I presume “casting mystery in their faces” is not as useful for fellow women… In fact, I find dealing with grouchy, bitter, or otherwise under-the-weather women seems much trickier than dealing with men. Is there anything we women never hear about dealing with our *own* kind?
Your Highness Anne,
It’s trickier because it’s tougher. Women aren’t as easily influenced favorably and dependably by women as by men.
You may want to make this point. Demonstrate that your affable pleasantness holds a man’s attention both easier and longer. Negative women may not learn what you want, but they will learn to admire your ability if they like you or suspect you of being a slut if they don’t.
Guy
Sure
Thanks! I will try it!
So essentially “kill them with kindness” and lead by example (rise above) will let them know you won’t accommodate/join their sour mood. I think?
Sir Guy, I have recently become a target at my “extra money” job. The masculine and aggressive woman have targeted me (I stand up for myself) to try to paint as an insubordinate worker. I have actually been pushed and threatened by the “superstar” (a masculine, aggressive, low class woman) on the job. We all started together (a new business) so what can I do to rectify this? I am using this job as a money resource ONLY (but need it still). I am now sticking out as a “non team player”, because I won’t join the feminist ladies in their disgusting activities. Even after the incidents (namecalling, jokes made to my face at my expense, and pushing) I went back and treated the woman as everyone else. I was threatened on the last workday (while leaving). What should/can I do? How far do I have to let it go? I just want to be able to do my job, well, and go home (but with woman in the workplace this will never be the case). What then?
Your Highness Lady Kaikou,
I regret I have no female solutions for such displays of disrespect. I figure you’re interested, so
I’ll continue with a male analysis.
You have few options made even fewer by your need for the money. You are so disrespected because the other women don’t accept your self-respect. You’re too different to win favor among them.
Consequently, I see only two options: leave or win sufficent respect that their torment ends. That is, find another job or out-man their masculine ways. For the latter, present them with some form of shock and awe that threatens each woman’s sense of security with the threat of a big surprise to her.
Your co-workers expect to see you cry and whimper. If you do, they will back off but their respect for you will decline even further. Restoring respect isn’t the easiest thing to do.
Current social and legal pressures against violence in any form keep me from advising you. In the old days I may have advised what I can’t even suggest today. However, you need to find some way to deliver a message that scares everyone away from tormenting you. I offer the following merely as examples of what worked in the old days. Perhaps, you can convert the ideas to some form of female shock and awe.
• Select one or more of the opinion leaders in the crowd. Next time they push, harass, or torment you, turn on them with blood in your eyes. You’ve had enough. Deliver a very hard and surprising fist to the mouth or the stomach. It must surprise everyone, hurt the tormentor, and show great determination to stand up for yourself. The others will see newfound respect in you and change their game plan when relating with you. (A slap to the face or too soft a punch will only start a fight or ruckus and win no respect.)
• When they push you, push back twice as hard. With violence written all over your face, show a strong willingness to have a physical showdown right then and there. If they take the dare and come back at you, stand your ground and deliver a fist to the face. They will want to slap and wrestle to the ground, but you should dodge their attempt to grab and grapple and punch to the face or stomach. Outsmart them by keeping to your feet to fend them off with punches.
• Court the ringleader. Take her to coffee and befriend her without complaining or explaining. You simply like her and wish to form a bond. You may have to swallow a lot of pride.
I guess the last bullet is kind of the female way. Nothing wrong, perhaps superior, but it lacks the dynamism of shock and awe, which earns respect the masculine way within an environment that you say is already too masculine for a lady.
Good luck.
Guy