I base the following on the nature of men and women without considering values, beliefs, and expectations that make the relationship game strictly personal.
Women sense a need for relationship management— of getting their husband directly involved—when their sense of importance slips or the sense they are loved fades. Wives have bought into the concept even though indirectness works much better for getting what women want out of men.
First, women expect men to directly help restore relationship harmony, but men can’t do it. They’re simply unable; they lack the skills, willingness, or both. Additionally, facing his wife with management on her mind, a husband senses that she expects him to change, which emboldens his natural resistance to let anyone change him. He’s his own man and not about to change, so she can forget expecting anything different out of him.
Second, wives expect to find and develop some kind of new or different behaviors to which each spouse will mutually agree. However, that expectation takes the woman’s mind off the only thing that works to restore harmony. Or, perhaps she just forgets it.
Relationship harmony arises out of a wife’s self-love and strong sense of self-importance. It’s a closed loop that works this way. Self-love gives her the ability to love. Her sense of self-importance energizes her to seek confirmation, so she makes herself important to husband and expects his love in return. Husband shows love for her, which both confirms and reinforces her self-importance, which then confirms and reinforces her self-love. Lose her importance and she’s loved less. Become more important and she’s loved more.
The road to wife being loved more to her liking begins with self-love. Daily enhancement of her prettiness (as suggested in daily article 1440) enhances self-love immensely. Strong satisfaction with her sense of self-love also improves her self-importance and vice versa.
In the final analysis, the more a woman loves, the more important she becomes to others and more likely she will be loved. Thus, wife’s ability and willingness to make herself important to her husband—governed by social and moral propriety to discourage masculine excesses—is her greatest strength. When she uses it, ‘relationship management’ doesn’t come to mind as potential solution to her problem, the inclination to blame husband fades away, and she more easily promotes harmony in the home.
(NOTE: Modern unmarried women feel that sexual availability makes them important for more than sex. After many years, they eventually learn that unmarried sex provides neither and even takes away much of both self-love and self-importance.)