1952. Porn vs. Romance


Feminists found ways and taught women to blame men for all social and domestic ills. Men shop for adventure. Wives know how that works out when their husbands venture into porn. But should men get all the blame for a couple’s poor or busted home life? Might there be an equivalent wifely malpractice? Is there another head on that elephantine monster constantly disturbing their compatibility and domestic bliss? Porn gets all the blame, but does fantasized romance ruin their game?

Women are comparison shoppers. So how does it work out when they shop for romance? When they entertain themselves with wishes, dreams, and validations of romance that are available in novels, celebrity mags, chick flicks, and men-demeaning TV shows? Does she compare her man to fiction? Do her fantasies spotlight husband’s inadequacies? Does she fantasize how he could be? Does she wish and dream for what she imagines versus the reality of what she lives with? Does she begrudge whatever romance he does provide? Does she become frustrated with her reality and determined to do something? Does she try to change husband but it spurs his resistance, resentment, and perhaps retaliation? Does that increase her frustration and dissatisfaction? Does that breed hostility? Does that grow into withdrawal from husband, separation, or living separate lives under the same roof?

It doesn’t take husband’s porn habit to stimulate wife to reach out for more romance. The female nature is wife’s default condition. Born with the primal urge to brighten her future, how can hubby survive comparison to someone else’s fiction and her fantasy? Consequently, a wife’s habitual search for romance produces in husband the same or equivalent reactions that his porn habit generates in her.

Fantasy is common to porn and imagined romance, and it may be a two-headed elephant in some homes. If both spouses are captivated by those fantasies, incompatibility oozes from every pore.

7 Comments

Filed under sex differences

7 responses to “1952. Porn vs. Romance

  1. boomer babe

    I notice another way women ‘blow it’ with not using ‘feminine mystique’ by going on TV shows like Steve Harvey, and saying she met a man and how she should dress, what should she say, not give up ‘the cookie’ (Harveys code word for sex) etc. That’s right, in front of millions of people. Don’t they know the guy may be WATCHING? and its not a secret anymore?
    this IMO also gives a wrong impression on young girls, that they should blab everything out, especially if they don’t have enough normal WOMEN in their life

    • My Husband's Wife

      Yep, you’re right Boomer Babe. There are certain “secrets” that shouldn’t be disclosed to men or in public. It’s the “actions speak louder than words” I’ve found to be the best approach, which adds to their mystery. Don’t just say it, do it or be it…and he’ll wonder! This site is the best by far for explaining this to the females of today.

      • Maria

        I agree. I think this is the best website for explaining feminine mystique, and many other things that women need to know. I have read A LOT and I always find myself returning here.

        • Cinnamon

          I read widely also but I always return to this website. Studying its teachings has changed my life.

  2. AJ

    Romances are basically emotional porn. And just like porn can damage a man’s ability to appreciate real women in bed, emotional porn can damage a woman’s ability to appreciate the real men in her life. The emotionally intuitive, intensely romantic, wealthy and extremely good looking man is just as fake as the porn star being carefully directed from the sidelines.

    Sir AJ,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another man joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
    Guy

    • Meggrz

      Absolutely.

      While I say I’m relieved for poetry like this:http://elitedaily.com/women/boob-guy-ass-guy-beautiful-poem-men-like-something-different/
      I don’t think romance novels are what he had in mind…

      Your Highness Meggrz,
      I agree. That poet isn’t even thinking romance per se. Men don’t unless they have to. But he describes what women should want to hear from a good, stand up man fishing for a good woman. It’s hidden until the end when he says, “I want a girl with passion, wit, and dreams.” T&A claimants put sex first. This poet puts first what he most admires (aka her virtues.) It makes him stand out as a Mr. Good Enough candidate. Men marry for a woman’s virtues and not for romance.
      Guy

      • My Husband's Wife

        Loved that video poetry and it sure helped further explain “virtue.” Interesting enough, I’ve heard my husband say many times about certain women who don’t have anything they’re interested in or anything they’re passionate about: “There’s no life, they lack passion, if I was married to them, the life would be sucked out of me!” I truly think men do like those things (virtues) in women that they are passionate about that make them unique. Of course, the man has to have some respect for what his woman is passionate about. In this case, “books and reading.” He ends up being fascinated by her and wonders about her as if he’s trying to figure her out. It’s lovely!

        I think that is why if a relationship is in trouble, having a wife start developing her hobbies, interests or “passions” can be not only uplifting for her, it also peeks the interest of her husband. I get it, but I wonder why it is? I don’t think us women are fascinated by our husband’s interest in woodworking or building model airplanes….or am I the odd woman out here? (Not saying that I object to or don’t wish him to have interests–but they’re not that important in general).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s