About

HUMAN NATURE IN THE RAW

If one seeks a better understanding of the battle of the sexes, one needs to examine human behavior with lessons learned in life taken out, neutralized, or nullified. Remove positive influences such as love and religion and a host of negative and strong motivators such as envy, jealousy, prejudice, and hatred. Without these obstructions the basic nature of both sexes becomes discernible. This blog takes us there.

Men are designed by God, produced by Nature, and energized and driven by hormones. And, that’s before they stop to think. Once old enough and they learn to pursue their self-interest, they do whatever the female gender requires for frequent and convenient access to sex.

The male and female natures are very different. Compatible relationships come from integrating their self-interests and exploiting their natures, especially their drives, needs, wants, fears, and time-focus. One simple example: Men fear insignificance, women fear abandonment. She can ease her fears by holding up or improving his significance, instead of letting it decline or fade.

I applaud the legal, political, and economic gains wrought by women fighting under the feminist banner. However, the domestic, social, and cultural consequences work directly against females. I accept the gains as well-earned on the battlefield of politics. I attack the fallout of Feminism as unwitting penalty to women, children, and families.

For forty years modern women have listened to other women about men. They believe feminist theory,  apply feminist dogma, and thus damage personal relationships. They haven’t listened to men or their grannies about the shortcomings of Feminism, and so they never learn what makes men want to help fulfill female hopes and dreams.

In particular, feminists tore down the most fundamental foundation of successful man-woman relationships—unconditional respect for the opposite sex equal to or greater than respect for one’s own gender. The feminist agenda promotes disrespect of men. Unconditional respect was pushed aside in favor of respect conditional on what men do for women and one man for one woman. It’s a failed strategy for females.

I acknowledge the hyperbole, but modern women don’t know jack about Jack, too little about Jill, and too little about sex differences that cause them to stumble and tumble down the relationship hill. This blog attempts to narrow the gap with thoughts that women never hear. Some advice appears plus many Maalox moments for all those hours of relationship reflux.

59 responses to “About

  1. Lexus

    Good site, admin.

    • You are clearly too sure of yourself here, son.

      Interesting site. I won’t bother you with my disagreements but I think you’re a bit delusional. I am guessing the family unit and the nature of woman and man is derived from biblical moral teachings- and that lesbians and gays are just confused, right?

  2. Scarlet

    Horrible site, admin.

    Are you some kind of nut, or something? Not everyone is as eager as you to drink the “gender gap” Kool-Aid. Stupid sheep.

    Human male and female behavior is largely shaped by our bigoted, unnatural society. Sorry, but it’s the truth. Not all women love the color pink, not all men are insensitive, not all women feel “incomplete” without being married or in a serious relationship, not all men think about sex 24/7.

    Your flaw is that you fail to acknowledge the individual. You are laboring under the delusion that what is true and/or good for some people, is best for all.

    My recommendation? Get a damn life and stop worrying about how other people conduct their own lives. It’s none of your business.

    Your Highness Scarlet,
    This site is all about What Women Never Hear. Visit other sites and you may find what you seek, need, or want.
    Guy

    • Alicia

      Scarlet, this is not the only site of this type. Cutting edge scientific study of the brain and same study of members of the genders is confirming what he’s saying. The whole “society” thing is antiquated. That said, there is obviously a continuum for all these generalities rather than they being absolutes. This is confirmed in observation and day to day life.

      Your Highness Alicia,
      Thanks. I love it when pretty women defend me especially when accompanied by wisdom.
      Guy

      • It all makes sense to me and speaks to me. I totally get it.

        Your Highness Liz Chaffe,
        Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
        Guy

  3. I enjoy and admire the work you’ve done. It is refreshing to see such straight-forwardness, and truth. Respect for men—although it is a biblical doctrine, most people simply ignore it. It is also self-defeating to feel and act this way, little do they know!

    http://feminineways.wordpress.com

  4. Bubby

    I just wanted to suggest that Man may have factored as a catalyst for feminism as we know it. Man began to serve self instead of serving others, and thus Woman felt used (as you say, Man will do about anything to assure himself convenient access to sex – including being insincere and manipulative). Woman got tired of this and rebelled against Man.

    I am by no means a feminist or a hater of Man. I just think this is something to be considred: Man’s sin fueled feminism.

    Man needs to accept this and decide to learn/not learn from his mistakes to inform his future actions to help bridge “the gap”. Man has nothing to lose but everything to gain as Woman responds to sincerity, integrity and nobility in even the most unattractive of men. They are fools like that.

    Bubby,
    You’ve put it together pretty well for what happened after the Sixties. But the stage was set earlier, which changes the blame.

    It all began before even my time. After World War I Marxist strategists saw that the workers of the world did not unite against government; instead they fought from nationalist trenches. They developed a new theory. Cultures can’t be destroyed from within, but must have a new culture imposed on the old.

    The Sexual and Cultural Revolutions were initiated by Marxists, anti-Americans, and power seekers. Baby boomers fell for their sex and drug subculture. Their huge numbers helped it expand and water down cultural values and standards. Morality was promoted as relative to each situation.

    About the same time, leftists energized Women’s Liberation, converted it to Feminism, and convinced women they were being used.

    Feminism would eliminate male dominance; anything matriarchal was preferred and propagandized. Feminism spread discontent and disrespect for the male gender. Women listened only to women. Free and easy unmarried sex bribed men into acceptance.

    You say: “Man’s sin fueled feminism.” No, leftist political activists did it. Man’s sin was accepting the bribery with sex that has torn down the most fundamental institution of American freedom, the family unit.

    Guy

  5. Wow. I am just blown away by this site. The way you incorporate the aspect of sociology into the rise of feminism and the fall of morality is amazing. I can’t wait to read more.

    Your Highness Southern Housewife,
    Princess Jennifer, I love it when pretty women tell me such things.
    Guy

  6. Miss Dawn

    Hi Guy,

    You son left a disturbing passage on #627. He said that “no touch rules” on school grounds was “snipping” away at boys developing masculinity. While I am all for instinctual drives in humans having a venue to thrive-

    I am worried that he was advocating the molestation of girls on playgrouds as acceptable “boys will be boys” behavior.

    Could you please pass this along to him to clarify his position and what he meant?

    I would be so grateful..

    Thanks,

    Miss Dawn

    Your Exceptionalness Miss Dawn,

    I guarantee he meant something quite opposite of what you accepted. For example, the PC extreme punishments designed to demean and scare parents and the male gender.

    But, I will notify him. He’s in the midst of starting up a new company and had his initial big sales presentation to upper executives this afternoon.

    Guy

  7. Suzanne

    Would you elaborate in future posts as to what you mean by “dominate home life by submissiveness” and provide some examples of the dynamic you are describing ?

    Your Delightfulness Suzanne,
    While I work to respond, you might find articles 56, 72, and 73 helpful. They provide the foundation for what you seek.
    Guy

  8. If women feared abandonment so much, then why do they file for divorces by a 2/1 margin?

    Sir Marky Mark,
    It’s simple. Such women no longer value their husband enough. His departure is not abandonment. Their nature of fearing abandonment isn’t switchable on and off, but their desire for one man is.
    Guy

    • Princess Rita

      Ya know, I can take blame where blame is due and I am constantly examining myself for as a woman for faults in my behavior but I have to say that I have heard the statistic (?) that wives file for divorce twice as often as women bandied about quite a bit lately and I think this information may be a bit misleading. It’s incorrect to assume that the demise of marriages today is only caused by the one filing for divorce. I have known of many situations where the man has “moved on”, abandoning his wife, (ie. is having flings or even a long term relationship) and he is too busy spreading his seed to bother with technicalities like divorce. The aggrieved wife and mother is often holding the family together by taking care of mundane things like bills, child-rearing and all the other duties her philandering husband has abandoned and filing for divorce may just be one of many tasks she must perform.

      I know there ARE many women today who are jerks and are running off on their husbands but there are still men acting like jerks too and I think we need keep a balance here.

      • Princess Rita

        Also, in a lot of states, if a mother is to receive any child support from the father, she must file for divorce or at the very least a legal separation. It’s pretty bad that this statistic is being used to beat women up when a lot of the time, they are simply trying to salvage something for their children.

      • Yes, when I think of the people I know who have filed for divorce (which aren’t very many that I would know the reasons behind the divorce), it has almost always been the wife filing because the husband had been cheating. One woman was willing to go along with a sham marriage for the children, if the husband would just give up flagrant affairs; he refused, so she filed.

      • Christelina

        Dearest Princess

        I totally agree… My mother was one of those ladies and my dad was one of those men. I saw what it did to her. I saw what he kept on doing. Their divorce was the best thing that could have happened. I remember my mom crying for months to years afterwards. She missed the good guy he was but couldn’t stand to be around the bad guy that he had become!

        Divorce sucks – believe me I know. Marriage should last forever. But in some cases such us mine – ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

    • greenluke

      If I may, I’d like to add to this. Women file for divorce 2/1 because there is 1.) an incentive within the no-fault divorce system derived from the potential for alimony/child support and 2.) attorneys will prey upon any psychological rift in a marriage that female’s manifest emotionally. Bottom line: women who consult a modern attorney are counseled that they will not lose any protection financially (either from the husband or the state if the income levels are low enough) and as such feel no great stress over divorce. They keep the children and the means to provide for them…why should they?

      • elle

        If the man is worth having, she’ll feel some stress over losing him. If all he is a check then a divorce is a lot more likely.

      • Charlie

        Maybe the woman provides the household income and the man is doing nothing to support the family. Life and relationships are more complex and diverse than you describe, greenluke

    • Charlie

      Perhaps in some instances when women no longer value their husband, it is because the husband has made poor choices that compromise the wife and the family’s well being.

  9. Princess Rita

    I was a woman like that Kathy and my former husband said “no, I want to work on our marriage” then kept seeing “her”. Go figure.

  10. k

    A man only cheats if his needs aren’t being met a home.

    K.,

    Your phrasing makes a good alibi for men. I see bias.

    For most men, you’re right, but I don’t call them needs. They’re more wants, druthers, and expectations that keep them from being disappointed in the mate they chose. Also, what you call needs go far beyond the sexual.

    As to other men, some are so self-centered they lack character, ability, and integrity to be loyal to someone else.

    Guy

    • Guy,

      I can understand your position to a point however I will say that for the last 10 years there has been quite a shift in the balance of power as well as the ability of the female to be just as treacherous if not more so than the male. Women will brag on being better cheaters than men however when the time comes they complain that they are being taken advantage of. Sorry ladies you can’t have it both ways. You can’t be the antagonist and the victim all at once. I will say that my lashing out had nothing to do with being self-centered; or the non-ability to be loyal and have integrity.

      I have just written a blog that discusses this and the WHY in my case, I will say that I have had an OVERWHELMING response of women tell me that they didn’t know that men had the ability to be torn down. Really? So they think of us in a less-than-human sense in regards to our feelings and emotions because we are very good at masking that.

      Aaron

    • greenluke

      Normally I would say that you are correct Guy. 50 years ago, your statement may have been true. In modern times, the typical formula for marriage extortion works likes this: 1.) attract a man with any/all feminine charms. 2.) have 1-3 babies 3.) withhold sex as a means of coercing any and all behavior, economically rational or not 4.) file for divorce without any need to justify a rationale 5.) reap up to 40% (max) of your former husbands earnings (tax-free), retain custody of the children (subject to minimal visitation schedule), and spread whatever hideous rumour is necessary to absolve yourself over any culpability for the marriage dissolution.

      The reality is as perverse as any we’ve encountered in history. Blaming men for wanting sex inside of a marriage vow is as wrong as criticizing women for resisting that vow in the first place.

    • 'Tom

      My grandmother once quipped, “A man won’t go to the restaurant if the kitchen is open.”

      Grandma grew up on a farm. She last of eight children, her father died when she was four during the depression. Her mom kept the ranch running without a new man around. Grandma kept two husbands very happy (the first husband died young of a stroke–no divorce). Her little sayings, while simple speak volumes in wisdom.

      Never have I met a stronger woman. You wouldn’t want to cross her. She could eat Gloria Steinem and Bella Abzug for lunch and still walk out looking like a lady. At the same time, she is also a very happy person with life. I can tell you, if she read most of the postings here, she would just laugh and shake her head.

      And if I could find a woman like her, I would marry her in a heartbeat.

      Sir Tom,

      Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another man joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

      You say that your grandmother “would just laugh and shake her head” on reading this blog. I presume in agreement and wish you’d advise me if not.

      Guy

  11. reader

    “In particular, feminists tore down the most fundamental foundation of successful man-woman relationships—unconditional respect for the opposite sex equal to or greater than respect for one’s own gender.”

    Actually its more about resources than anything else. “Love” between the sexes (rather, women’s “love” for men) was consideration for the material resources a man could provide, which she could not readily attain herself. When women have no need for men in terms of resources – money, food, shelter, so forth – the whole proposition collapses. Yes feminism has a huge amount to do with it, but the issue of resources is still very much fundamental.

    Similarly, men continue to “love” women because, on their side, the resources women can offer, which only women can offer (reproductive resources), has not changed.

    As the resource equation has been completely revolutionized, the idea of going back to the “old ways” is unworkable. We we be led by brave new feminist values necessarily.

    • Grace

      reader – Good point! I suspect that this is one of the reasons that this blog advocates financial dependency on the husband for women. In a time where women were financially dependent on men for their very survival a woman is more willing to overlook cheating, abuse, and other poor treatment. Men mistreating women certainly didn’t start with feminism.

      Now that a woman can walk away from a man and support herself she no longer needs him as she did before. If a relationship doesn’t meet a woman’s emotional needs, or if the man is unfaithful then she can easily walk away. I think that people who insist that women become financially dependent are trying to recreate those conditions that force a woman to stay and work things out. I see the benefit to the man in this (his wife can’t easily leave him but he can easily leave her. Therefore he has less incentive to work on his relationship.) but I’m not sure how it benefits a woman to be in that position.

      Your Preciousness Grace,
      You’ll find not endorsement by me that advocates financial dependency on husband. It’s an option women elect on their own or after listening to sister females. I promote women choosing what lies in their best natural as opposed to political interests as females.
      Guy

  12. Ya know, I can take blame where blame is due and I am constantly examining myself for as a woman for faults in my behavior but I have to say that I have heard the statistic (?) that wives file for divorce twice as often as women bandied about quite a bit lately and I think this information may be a bit misleading. It’s incorrect to assume that the demise of marriages today is only caused by the one filing for divorce. I have known of many situations where the man has “moved on”, abandoning his wife, (ie. is having flings or even a long term relationship) and he is too busy spreading his seed to bother with technicalities like divorce. The aggrieved wife and mother is often holding the family together by taking care of mundane things like bills, child-rearing and all the other duties her philandering husband has abandoned and filing for divorce may just be one of many tasks she must perform.
    +1

  13. Joy

    This is a very good site, because it allows people with differing views to express their opinions without fear of being slammed, as some sites seem to do.

    I am a Baptist missionary wife, married for 38 years to my wonderful husband. We have a great relationship that thrives because of mutual love and respect. We believe having Christ in our marriage has been the main component that has kept us together and happy. Though my husband is the head of our family, he holds that position because I have allowed him to. :) So when you think of it, who actually has the most power in the relationship? The woman must submit authority to her husband, and if she doesn’t do that, then he has no authority. I agree that every company/institution must have one person in charge to be the final decision-maker. However, in our family, my husband never makes ANY decision on a major situation without discussing it with me and prayerfully and sincerely considering my opinion and ideas. He views me as a very important resource that was given to him (as a helpmeet) by God. He would never disrespect me by going ahead with any plan of action that would affect our family, knowing that I was opposed to the plan. If we can’t come to an agreement, we just don’t do it. Many times we have had to put a fleece before the Lord on important matters as a way of settling a disagreement.

    Respect for each other – building each other up – is what makes a great marriage relationship.

    Joy

    Your Highness Joy,
    Welcome aboard. Glad to have you with us.
    I love it when pretty women tell such great stories of success with a man.
    Guy

    • Gal

      What do Joy’s looks have to do with the integrity of women and the success of her marriage?

      Your Highness Gal,

      Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

      Your question surprises me. You must be very young so I will explain.

      As to the integrity of women, every woman is born with the conviction that she’s pretty. If she rejects or refuses it or doesn’t capitalize on that fact, her integrity suffers from lack of the proper attention. Can she be honest in character if not honest with herself or too lazy to care?

      As to the success of her marriage, do you think that a husband doesn’t care about his wife’s appearance/attractiveness or the way she feels physically? Do you think that his disappointments about her don’t affect his thoughts and efforts that help bring about more success? For example, because of greater pride and respect for her appearance and his luck that she still feels the same after many years.

      Thanks for visiting. I hope some of the articles may be of interest.

      Guy

  14. boomer babe

    Ephesians 5 is so powerful; men lead and women submit or else we will get either macho or wimpy men and no women like that in the long run. Also, it drives women crazy when they don’t take initiative

  15. Jeanne

    What on earth makes you think that all this gendered garbage is something that women “never hear”? It is actually exactly what we hear in abundance from family, church, government, peers and media from the day we are born and put in a pink dress and given our first baby doll. This is absolutely the least unique or unexpected “information” we could possible get.

    • Princess Rita

      Are you from the U.S. Jeanne? I am and it seems like so many things this culture taught me about male/female relationships was dead wrong. I’ve got the divorce to prove it!

      These are some of the “old fashioned” ways that our culture (for the most part) has discarded. I for one am willing to dig them out of the trash and give them a try.

    • greenluke

      I wish you happiness and hope that your way of living provides it to you. If it does, it will be an anomaly in history.

  16. Mariposa

    Your Excellence Sir Guy,
    I am a still a novice follower to your ingenious and invaluable blog. I wondered if you might be so kind as to direct me toward (or create new) words of wisdom pertaining to a single woman who actively seek the responsible and devotional Marrying Man, but who never had a shot at keeping the state of her virginity a secret because she has a child.
    In my personal situation, I was quite young and unmarried when I had my child, and my son’s father stepped out of the picture during the pregnancy to never return. Raising my child without a partner has not been without its own set of struggles. He is six now and I want – with all of my heart – to find a good man to whom I can prove to be a loyal and devoted wife, and to convert my happy twosome into a true blissful family.
    I have met someone recently who was brought up in a family quite similar to my own (God and family are high priorities to us both). We share the same religious beliefs, values, and so far nearly everything else on the compatibly scale seems to be clicking into place like clockwork. Naturally, my guard it way up as I have sorely misplaced my trust (and loosened grip of my values) in the past.
    Passing time, fraught with hard-earned life lessons, has matured me in so many ways. I believe I have actually ripened to present as a more suitable wife than I would have ever been prepared to be without flourishing thought the trying experiences of my past. I have acquired an abundance of patience, insight and tenacity. I am now determined to proceed in a relationship while adhering to my principles and acting with discernment. I must give due credit to this blog for serving as daily reinforcement to my fortitude.
    I feel confident that I am able to abide by most of your advice (all that applies to me) but I have not yet come across any commentary explicit to my situation. I admit my curiosity overcomes me when I take in your alluring commentary revealing the male psyche and recall what distinctive plains of thought sustain us. Please help me to gain a deeper understanding of his perspective, and how the specifics of my situation play into and affect the game (i.e. advantages, disadvantages and maneuvering tips). I value and appreciate to the highest degree any cautionary steps you might recommend I take on my route to secure a successful courtship.
    Optimistic Regards,
    Mariposa

    Your Highness Mariposa,

    First, you are the best judge and already know most of what to do. You only lack additional knowledge to fill your ‘confidence bowl’.

    Second, Princess Rita cited a good post to visit and digest the ingredients. The subject is Virtual Virginity, and many articles follow in the series by that name. (See the CONTENTS page at blog top and study them to support your convictions.)

    Third, learn about the evils of full disclosure by studying the series, Her Sexual History. Another series, HardToGet might also help.

    Fourth, scan the CONTENTS page and visit every post that deals with feminine and femininity. The more uniquely feminine you are, the more he will appreciate you.

    Fifth and finally, review all of the posts dealing with the differences between men and women. They appear under three titles:
    • Sex differences explain men
    • Sex Differences Do Matter
    • Gender Differences Revisited

    Best wishes, Mariposa. I admire your spunk and dedication to improving yourself.
    Guy

  17. Denise

    Sir Guy, not sure where to ask more general question, but something’s been on my mind. We have read so much about how to be desireable to a man and how to surreptitiously encourage him to rise to our expectations. But how ought we go about breaking up with a man if it seems clear that he’s just not what we want? I don’t know if other women struggle with this, but I’ve regularly faced the temptation to stick with something way beyond its expiration date. How can a woman break up with a man respectfully, especially if the reason is because she finds fault with him? And do men really care if a woman simply fades away, or is vague about her reasons, or will that be perceived as uncommunicative and immature?

    Thanks!

    Your Specialness Denise,
    Your questions rated a full article published today as #1101.
    Guy

  18. This is actually a exceptional blog post. I am yet new to all this and I try to improve. Reading this post helped me a good deal in studying these things. Thank you for making it available and continue the nice work.

  19. I really appreciate this post. I have been looking all over for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You have made my day! Thanks again

  20. This is great information. Folks, listen to this guy. He’s very bright and knows what he’s talking about. You can’t go wrong with following people who can walk the walk – like him. Great information, dude. Just the way I like it!

  21. Marie

    What exactly are you trying to accomplish with this blog?
    Not all men are pigs. In fact, given the opportunity, most men are good, stand-up guys, with or without sex in the equation.
    Not all women want “control” in a relationship. In fact, in a successful relationship, neither person should be in control. Relationships are partnerships.
    I agree that promiscuity can (key word: can) be damaging to women. But your blog seems to promote chastity even in committed relationships and even within marriage. I shouldn’t have to worry about keeping my husband’s devotion; if we’re married, it’s because we’ve chosen to devote ourselves to eachother.
    I know you think you’re smart because you know all about guys. Congratulations, guy. You clearly know nothing about women.

    Your Highness Marie,

    Welcome aboard. It’s another great day when a pretty woman joins us on this cruise.

    You err by reading too little and discourage my attention-giving except for this: “What exactly are you trying to accomplish with this blog?” The same thing you just read in the ABOUT page and saw in the blog banner: What Women Never Hear.

    You may learn about both men and women if you spend time with these series: Gender Differences Revisited, Sex Differences Do Matter, and Dark Side of Feminism. (If you wonder where, look in the CONTENTS page at blog top.)

    Guy

    • Marie

      Thanks but no thanks, guy. Stumbled abross this blog and glad I got a good laugh. Gonna go learn about men and women by interracting with real people!

  22. Katy

    “The feminist agenda disrespects men.”
    No, it doesn’t. The feminist movement fights for equality for men and women. I imagine you mean disrespect in that it takes away your privilege as a man, and, oh no, we couldn’t possibly have that happen!
    Seriously, though, could you “enlighten” me as to how the feminist agenda disrespects males in any way?

    “Unconditional respect was pushed aside in favor of respect conditional on what men do for women and one man for one woman. It’s a failed strategy for females.”
    Yes, because why should you get my unconditional respect? If you treat me, a female, differently than you would a male (thereby showing little respect for me), of course I wouldn’t respect you back.

    Your Highness Katy,

    Welcome aboard. It’s always a pleasure when a pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    You ask to be enlightened how the feminist agenda disrespects males in any way? Click the CONTENTS page at blog top and scroll down to the series Dark Side of Feminism. You’ll find answers in those 25 articles. Keep this in mind: I assess the feminist agenda by what it produces, by the fruit of Feminism, and not what feminists allege as their motivation. Also, I totally exclude the political, legal, and economic advances, of which I approve, and speak only to the social and domestic consequences, of which women should be aware.

    Guy

  23. Katy, I prefer for men to treat me differently from how they treat each other, because in this case different = better.

  24. elle

    Do you think that women’s fear of abandonment has something to do with being financially dependent on their husbands? I’ve noticed that women with careers who are self sufficient are less concerned about getting a divorce than women who don’t have this. I think its a combination of knowing that they and their kids won’t starve no matter what the husband does, and having full lives outside of their husbands.

    Your Highness Elle,

    Of course, you’re right. However, those fears accumulate upon a platform of primal fear that exists long before social pressures are experienced. It shows up early with daughters. They have a enormous fear of being abandoned by their fathers.

    Social pressures can enlarge or reduce a female’s fear of abandonment. Self-sufficient women are also empowered to more easily and confidently choose divorce over marital stability. So, strictly from this man’s point of view, self-sufficiency enables a woman to divorce and shift the pressures of abandonment onto the child victims of her divorce.
    Daughters suffer the most.

    Guy

  25. Sarah Preston

    Mr Guy, your work on here is so important. Without proper understanding on these matters schisms develop provoking separation and alienation from relationships with people, selves and even God. My goal in life is to increase my understanding so that I can not only make sense of my world, but also help others bridge the emerging gaps because togetherness is the most satisfying and complete form of living.
    Some books that I found helpful were the Eldridge “Wild at Heart” and “Captivating” books. This blog is awesome too. I hope you find the results to be satisfying and helpful to yourself and others.

  26. Your Excellence Sir Guy,
    I am a still a novice follower to your ingenious and invaluable blog. I wondered if you might be so kind as to direct me toward (or create new) words of wisdom pertaining to a single woman who actively seek the responsible and devotional Marrying Man, but who never had a shot at keeping the state of her virginity a secret because she has a child.
    In my personal situation, I was quite young and unmarried when I had my child, and my son’s father stepped out of the picture during the pregnancy to never return. Raising my child without a partner has not been without its own set of struggles. He is six now and I want – with all of my heart – to find a good man to whom I can prove to be a loyal and devoted wife, and to convert my happy twosome into a true blissful family.
    I have met someone recently who was brought up in a family quite similar to my own (God and family are high priorities to us both). We share the same religious beliefs, values, and so far nearly everything else on the compatibly scale seems to be clicking into place like clockwork. Naturally, my guard it way up as I have sorely misplaced my trust (and loosened grip of my values) in the past.

    Passing time, fraught with hard-earned life lessons, has matured me in so many ways. I believe I have actually ripened to present as a more suitable wife than I would have ever been prepared to be without flourishing thought the trying experiences of my past. I have acquired an abundance of patience, insight and tenacity. I am now determined to proceed in a relationship while adhering to my principles and acting with discernment. I must give due credit to this blog for serving as daily reinforcement to my fortitude.
    I feel confident that I am able to abide by most of your advice (all that applies to me) but I have not yet come across any commentary explicit to my situation. I admit my curiosity overcomes me when I take in your alluring commentary revealing the male psyche and recall what distinctive plains of thought sustain us. Please help me to gain a deeper understanding of his perspective, and how the specifics of my situation play into and affect the game (i.e. advantages, disadvantages and maneuvering tips). I value and appreciate to the highest degree any cautionary steps you might recommend I take on my route to secure a successful courtship.
    Optimistic Regards,
    Mariposa

    +1

    Your Highness Valencia,

    Welcome aboard. Its a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Her Highness Kathy beat me to the punch. She suggested the Virtual Virginity series and I add the other series with virgin in the title listed in the CONTENTS page at blog top. Her remarks are excellent too. If you can’t resolve you dilemmas and answer your questions there, ask for more here.

    Guy

  27. Mariposa, if you look under the “virtual virginity” series, or search the blog for that term, you will find your situation mentioned [it’s known/obvious that you are not a physical virgin, either because a woman has children from a previous relationship or a woman who has been previously married]. If I remember correctly, the same rules apply as to those women who either are true virgins or can pretend to be: her sexual history is off-limits and unimportant. What’s in the past remains in the past and he does not have the right to know. Since you do have a son and he knows you have had sex in the past [esp. if since you were not married, in which case he knows that at least at one point you had sex outside of marriage], you may need to say something about how you’ve changed since that time, or your standards have changed and are higher, or something. [He might expect you to be an easier target, but your actions will let him know sooner or later that that is not the case, even though you likely will not come right out and say, “no sex before marriage”.] I know that Sir Guy has said many times that women tend to disclose too much about their past, so you need to guard against that; mystery is still possible even with a child. Let him imagine what it might have taken that past boyfriend to get into your bed, especially since he’s having to work so hard to get into it now.

    And, fwiw, I can think of several of my friends who have either married a woman with a child(ren) or who were women with children conceived out of wedlock who married, and the men were all “high-quality”, and the marriages are solid; and in the cases of an absentee father, the men have adopted the child. [One of my friends has been married for, oh, probably 15 years now, and in addition to the woman’s son whom he adopted, they have 7 or 8 children together. Another friend just had his 4th, her 5th child, and they’ve probably been married 8 years.] I don’t pretend to know what their courtships consisted of, nor even what was the first attraction that the men saw in the women, but I do know that while the women may have made a mistake [even if they didn’t know/care at the time, and later became Christian, or whatever the case may be], that did not prevent them from finding “a good guy” and a good father for their child.

    Your Highness Kathy,
    Good coaching. I too was going to suggest starting with the Virtual Virginity series. I love it when pretty women anticipate me.
    Guy

  28. Gosh, some brainwashed femmies right here! My dear women, feminism has probably never been about equality; it was left-wing women wanting everything to change. Things were ALREADY changing for the better in the world, with states increasingly letting women vote, work, and have more rights, and England allowed female doctors before us, I think. But this, and the invention of birth control and modern appliances (which allowed women to leave the home) had nothing to do with feminism. And these progressions weren’t enough for femmies; they wanted far less children, males, and homemakers.

    Admin, the fact that you present these truths AND respect the need for more rights for women than we had back in the day wins my respect greatly. Thank you.

    Your Highness Jennifer,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
    Guy

  29. Brianne

    Dear Guy,
    I’ve been enjoying reading your blogs but there are so many I don’t quite know where to start, I’ve been bouncing around reading them. I’ve decided to try out your “University” to organize my reading.

    I’ve lived most of my life priding myself in being a strong confident woman and recently during a conversation with an ex, I asked him why things didn’t work out and he told me that I’m intimidating. At first I thought he meant my looks, but reading your blogs has shifted my thinking. It made me think that perhaps the reason I’ve been single for most of my adult life is caused by me buying into the feminist movement. I see I can continue to be the strong confident woman I am yet not keep scaring off men.

    I look forward to reading more. It reminds me of the advice that my Grandfather used to give me before he passed away.

    I see a lot of theme’s that remind me of The Secret :) I’m also a little confused by you referring to people as “Highness” heehee but I think I like it.

    Your Highness Brianne,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
    Guy

    Thank you

    • Kaikou

      I too get the intimidating remark from all peoples and have been relatively single my whole life. Sir Guy can you touch on this? I find it is different than being a hard woman though. People don’t think I am angry, but rather I wouldn’t want to talk to them or something. For example, not the friendly girl next door, but the hardworking intelligent girl from a reserve family? So what does mean to intimidate guys in this way?

      Your Highness Kaikou,

      Please don’t take offense, and neither should Brianne. I may misinterpret you all completely.

      But, I’m hearing that you lack interest in other people if their interests don’t parallel yours. If so, you likely present a superior air, an aura of invincibility. Nothing wrong; it’s a great preventer of mistreatment by men especially. However, it’s quite different from femininity that is crowned and strengthened purposely by a sense of softness. Intimidating ain’t feminine; it’s masculine but softening can fix it.

      May I suggest you study post 59. It describes jewels in the feminine crown. See if it can produce better results for you.

      Guy

  30. Kaikou

    I do not take offense and while I do get what you’re saying, I don’t know if that is quite it – all the time? Yes, if I find someone (man/woman) who engages or highlights activities I am not fond of I relatively ignore them, but I wouldn’t say that is most people. I find it easy to read people’s motives and spirits, so if I find that it doesn’t suit me i meander around them (ahead of time usually). I understand the “superior air” comment. I think it comes from the fact that I am often lost in my thoughts and have the look of someone who has agenda or something to do. Is this bad? I agree that it might not be exactly feminine, but I would much rather be that than helpless looking for validation from people. Again, I talk about balance, because I don’t think my way is of course working out best for me. I am constantly working on “my jewels”, so that is a good reminder.

    Lady Kaikou

    Your Highness Kaikou,

    You say, “I find it easy to read people’s motives and spirits….” Two subliminal problems flow from it.

    1. People don’t want their motives ‘read’ or even suspected. It makes them suspicious of what else you know or suspect and consequently they become cautious, reticent, or withdraw.

    2. People prefer to describe their motives themselves. However, it colors what they say with their hidden agenda, which means in the final analysis that you should not trust what they say motivates them.

    You ask, “Is this bad?” No, of course not. You’re entitled to your agendas without regard for what others think. However, it sounds as if you may shift into a more self-centered mode when around other people. If so, just practice externalizing your thoughts when around others. Make it a habit and your life will become more successful, I suspect.

    Guy

    • Brittany

      Guy,

      I really appreciate all of your pearls of wisdom!! I fall into the same category that Kaikou does, in that I can seem to easily read people’s motivations and spirits. I’ve been thinking over her comment above this one and your reply to it for a couple of days and I can see where if someone’s interests don’t parallel mine or if I’m not interested in the same things they are, I don’t completely ignore them, but I also don’t really show an interest in finding out more about them/their interests. I don’t do it to be intentionally mean spirited or anything, but I’ve learned I need to pay a bit more attention in how I come off to people. I can also get very lost in my thoughts and I can see how that would come off as ignoring people or not wanting to talk to them.

      Just one question though, what to you mean by externalizing your thoughts? How would you make it a habit?

      Thanks,
      Brittany :)

      Your Highness Brittany,

      Quit thinking about yourself so much. Think more about others and their interests. Find things to do that you can focus on without thinking so much about yourself. Develop new habits. For example, concentrate on new hobby or learning piano, become a more diligent employee, become a more loyal friend.

      Some new behaviors take as much as 90 days to become habitual. Others may take only 30 days. But, the road to new habits is specific actions repeated many times. In your case, for example, commit to never being late and never calling in sick (needlessly) for a year. Then see how much better you feel as an employee. And how much less you worry about your job and employment future.

      Or, show greater attention and affection to your best and second-best friend. Do the same with your family both individually and collectively. Such new habits will externalize your thoughts, because you’re living up to a life made more valuable to others and consequently more anxiety-proof for you.

      Guy

  31. Katarina

    Guy, I don’t quite know how to just email you or start a comment… But I was wondering what your take is on the Sarah Palin comment about the security detail ‘checking her out’ while guarding her. She was highly offended and of course the stories of infidelity and visiting prostitutes is totally out of line, but how unusual or inappropriate is it for men to ‘check out women’ and how much condemnation should they (the men) suffer for doing so? Does it interfere with, or enhance, the performance of their duties? Thank you!

    • A.GuyMaligned

      Your Highness Katarina,

      Only the shadows of those men know what ‘checking her out’ means. If Sarah responded as you claim, reporting herself as highly offended long after the event, then I am disappointed in her. I thought she had more class, sense of power, and feminine fortitude. You can be sure of certain things on the macro scale of society.

      Checking out chicks is a typical expression of the male nature. Now, if their nature is going to be demeaned or suppressed by women, whether by politics, political correctness, feminists, or women that don’t appreciate men, then women can expect that men will resent, resist, and even retaliate against the fairer sex. Only their shadows know where, when, and how.

      But this much is even more certain on the micro scale. Complaining of silent/non-physical appreciation of female beauty is unnatural for women. Women spend their entire lives seeking the appreciation if not approval of men; if they choose to condemn and isolate all but their own favorites, they harden their hearts against relationships with men.

      As women elevate their sensibilities above normal expressions of the male nature, the ultimate result is a shallowing of manly love for women. Hard-hearted women and females acting against their nature lose the respect of men. A man’s love is founded on unconditional respect for the female gender and conditional respect for one. So, when women publicly condemn some and let other men get by, women weaken the foundation of manly love. I recognize it as an anomaly of Nature, but women respect men without their earning it, while men respect women only when it’s earned.

      Why should the natural expression of appreciation for Sarah’s attractiveness be the subject of concern for anyone else? Unless, of course, their agenda includes demeaning men, gaining political advantage, injecting their busybody interests into the public arena, or by the media playing to their own agenda—which is probably also politically inspired.

      You ask what condemnation should her security detail get? NONE! It’s both too late and no one’s business but Sarah’s. If she observed and was offended, she should and would have straightened them out. Being professionals, they would observe her standards. BUT, if she imposed no standards such as by censuring with words or freezing them with a stare, then she tacitly enjoyed the attention, which any female would do unless she has ulterior reasons to abandon her nature.

      Guy

  32. Katarina

    Thanks for your comments, Guy, I feel exactly the same. Here is a link to a an interview with her:

    http://foxnewsinsider.com/2012/04/20/sarah-palin-blasts-back-at-secret-service-agent-who-checked-her-out-says-scandal-is-a-symptom-of-government-run-amok/

    This link contains more information than I had when I posted my question for you, but it doesn’t change the fact that I agree with your position on this. I ESPECIALLY agree with paragraph 2 of your comments…this is something I’ve been pondering for a long, long time. I am a little timid to express this opinion too much, but I see so much violence against women, especially by their husbands/boyfriends, and I wonder if they are just not so totally frustrated by all this ‘no-no-no’ all the time. I know that violence against a wife or girlfriend is wrong, but I see some women being very infuriating toward their men and whimsically demanding separation/divorce/loss of contact with children, etc.

    Thanks for your thoughts!

    Your Highness Katarina,

    I’m taking us off-theme temporarily, but I take back my disappointment in Sarah Palin. I’m proud of her once again.

    The offense happened years ago and Sarah just took advantage of today’s political opportunity. Good job. You can see she didn’t so much blast the agent himself as string him up as an example of government overreach, malfeasance, and dodging accountability.

    Beautifully executed, Sarah, that’s why the left had to kill you politically in 2008 and since.

    Guy

  33. A distinctly creepy blog, your Pompousness. I’ve been married to the same man for 23 years, the first marriage for us both. He does more housework than I do, and he’s the manliest, most wonderful man I know. And yes, I’m a Feminist. And we’re both atheists. So keep in mind that not all Feminists are struggling with relationship problems. Some of us are deliriously happy!

    Your Highness Linnetmoss,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Congratulations on your marital success. We all do what makes us feel good about ourselves within our beliefs. I hope yours lasts for life.

    Pompously,
    Guy

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