1838. Sex Difference Redux—Part 83: Her Appearance and Him

Her Majesty Grace has repeated this for many years: “If she dresses like a whore, she is treated as a whore.” Pop culture values and fashion pressures put women at disadvantage for marriage; they have a better way. This post describes how a woman’s appearance impacts and stimulates the male nature.

Always alert, men receive distinct and even imagined sexual messages from every sexually attractive woman, and first impressions can last a lifetime. Some messages inspire male dominance and others neutralize it. Women benefit by neutralizing it, which starts with breast display, and so I focus there. Women have four options. Three encourage male dominance and one tends to neutralize it.

First option, first mistake. In hopes of establishing relationships, modern women assume the role of sellers with men as buyers. It makes a woman expect to prove her worth to earn a man, and they use sex as coin of the realm. (Her female nature should alert that its wrong for her, but women have been propagandized into adopting male-like sexual freedom. The sexual revolution was designed by and for males.)

It’s a far better attitude when she views herself as buyer and each man as seller. She sends loud messages to the effect that she’s already worth earning. Her selling price? He must prove his worth to her.

Second option, her biggest mistake. She advertises with cleavage and erotically exposed skin and expects men to be charged up such that her sexual assets will capture him for more than just sex. She tries to appear worthy of satisfying a man’s sexual appetite in hopes that he will bond and stay with her.

Women influence each man they encounter. Maximum cleavage and erotic skin exposure focuses men on sex. It takes their attention away from the female as respectable person and discourages searching for her non-sexual qualities. Whether intended as invitation or not, men are induced to focus on no more than what will lead her to yield sex.

Her immodesty is obvious, and it eases or relieves a man’s sense of masculine self-restraint, which also confirms his dominant spirit as okay with her. It also signals that she welcomes masculine-style sexual freedom—whether she does or not is moot, because he perceives it—and this shifts her into a player in the man’s game. She may attract and capture a man, but sex does not bond him; it only leads to temporary relationships because he never focuses on her enough to make her a keeper. This option also encourages the man’s game of wham, bam, thank you, ma’am and one-nighters with no follow up calls. By displaying her endowments so immodestly, she yields relationship dominance. (Foolishly, many women don’t believe they compete with women for men. So, they try to appear like their competition. In fact and quite naturally, men want a wife that appears unique and reflects credit on their ability to attract a mate.)

Third option, she doesn’t even try. She presumes either that she’s worthy or she needn’t attire herself to appeal to manly eyes. She may purposely seek to discourage masculine attention. Or, perhaps she seeks comfort because she’s not at this particular moment trying to attract a man. Regardless of size, breasts well-padded and shapeless shift manly focus to other women.

Sweatshirt-covered and bosom-shaped displays indicate age or attempts to dissuade men. Other women just look better. Big, shapeless, and comfortable for her won’t reduce a man’s eagerness for conquest, but it reduces his enthusiasm for keeping her after that. Wives often resort to comfort—even to sloppiness—without realizing the impact on husband. It’s not modesty but may be disrespect of hubby. In any event, her shapeless breasts lack ‘character’ and push men toward other women, and husbands are men.

Fourth option, perfect aim. Some women possess a highly conscientious feminine persona. They maximize their feminine impact on men. They do it for all men in order to attract the right candidates for Mr. GoodEnough. They understand that it starts with breast display.

Modest cover to the neck with two, albeit small, distinct breasts pointed uncomfortably high and perky forces decent men to focus on her eyes and other features in order to maximize their persuasiveness. No invitation for sex is apparent, and so he’s forced to find other interests to generate conversation. (Large breasts make him think of playing around in bed. Small ones take away playful thoughts and stimulate non-sexual actions out of his serious mind.)

She appears not only hard-to-get, but is implying ♫na, ♫na, ♫na, ♫na, ♫na, ♫na to his face—look but don’t even think about touching. Her appearance and attitude force the hunter-conqueror to plan for a long campaign. This empowers her to keep his attention focused on her and finding her other qualities so essential for her to be a keeper. He’s distracted from sex, which enables her to dominate their relationship.

Highly stressed modesty and two high, pointed, and perky breasts blended in a non-sexual ‘in your face’ attitude can easily overpower male dominance. Men wilt under that kind of feminine determination, unless they are only after sex in the first place. In which case, she will soon detect it from his actions and can put him back in the parade before he misleads her into a mistake or worse.

How women display breasts determines whether they can successfully handle men with feminine bossiness or get manhandled with masculine brusqueness. Women are in charge, as always if they act like it, and her well-designed offense can tamp down a man’s offense before he even gets started. Male dominance begins to quiver before such a woman, and a dominance-neutralized start up can later harmonize their marriage with him ruling the roost and her ruling the rooster.

1484. Cleavage Doesn’t Work

Just as eyes are the window of the soul, cleavage invites men to the bed. Women think not, but then they seem to know so little about the male nature.   

A lady asked about mama’s advice to mash down, lash down, and attire the shapeless bosom modestly. Evidently, it diverts a man’s attention away from his natural tendency to pursue sex. Mama was wrong or didn’t teach enough. It doesn’t discourage thoughts of sex. It discourages pleasant thoughts of the owner. As to bosom modesty, it isn’t shape or size; bare skin makes her immodest in both her heart and his sight.

Moreover, each guy still thinks of sex but his curiosity isn’t elevated and imagination stimulated sufficiently that he pays attention to her as person, woman, and possible mate. She too easily appears as an ‘also-ran’ in the race of life. He sees far too little feminine uniqueness to capture his heart. She gets too few opportunities to learn about men by screening and judging them.  

To encourage pleasant thoughts of the owner, a gal needs something to raise a man’s eyes and hold them with hers. That’s how she takes his mind off sex. She peers into his soul, makes him blanch or flinch, and the first one to blink follows the other. It calls for understanding the subliminal and subconscious pressures that result from boy meets girl, guy dates gal, woman captures man’s heart.

Distinctive and uniquely shaped breasts bring pride to her heart and generate self-confidence in her spirit. Tight bra straps remind of the price she pays for dedicating her resources to the betterment of her self-interest.

Her breast display pressures men to turn defensive and await her initiatives rather than shooting their ego-dominance from the hip. She strategizes to take his mind off sex and learn more about her. It elevates his curiosity about her as a person, and his imagination fires up even more. It won’t be soon, he thinks, but sometime he will score big, bigger, or biggest. If he doesn’t play his cards right, he may lose her without conquest.

By exposing her heart subliminally and displaying an ‘in your face’ self-confidence, she provides the challenge that makes men cautiously attentive rather than too bold, cautiously interested rather than too cool, curious about what price they must pay, and imaginative about how to keep from losing her before he conquers her.

More proud of shape than exposed skin, she puts the well-covered symbol of her most precious asset in his face, so to speak. Subliminally, the price of conquest will be great for him. In addition to uplifted, pointed, perky, and modestly covered, she adds something attractive at the base of the neck, such as necklace, scarf, pearls, broach, cross, choker, turtle neck, silk tank top under plunging neckline, or some other sexless device.

Unless he’s totally insensitive, a guy can’t stare at her breasts. He also can’t admit that she holds his attention; he has control. His gaze moves upward first attracted by the neck, which suggests no sex or interest. Men will stop to admire it or pass over it to look upon her face. Then he’s left with only looking into her face. If his gaze avoids locking with her eyes, she knows he can’t be trusted and should be returned to the parade of guys passing by.

High, pointed, perky, and covered enables her to dominate capturing his attention to focus on her rather than just sex. He’s impressed with the conviction that she will be no pushover; he has to learn much more about her to keep from losing her before his conquest. His curiosity and imagination thus shift from sex to her, and she’s figuratively off and running with him in honest rather than just prurient pursuit.

In the normal course of life, a woman’s symbols are taken in subliminally and men subconsciously react. Eye contact is the best detractor of evil thoughts. A guy can’t stay locked on her eyes and think about sex; he’s naturally pressured to think about her as person, female, woman, mate, spouse, wife, mother, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. It’s a far better way to make a woman appear pleasant and interesting than what mama proposed.

Modern women think cleavage does the same thing only better. However, it has the great disadvantage of keeping a guy focused on sex more than her as a person, and that works against every woman’s best interest.

1318. Boob Language—Part 25

• With big breasts to play with, a man’s attention turns easily to having fun instead of arousing her. Small-breasted women should be grateful and proud. They may think they lack attractiveness but they gain in building passion. With little to ‘play with’ and entertain himself in the imagined, adolescent-minded glory of big breasts, a man more readily or even accidentally focuses on techniques that arouse her.
• Women dress and groom carelessly and sloppily when they’re disappointed in their man, trouble haunts their marriage, or lack of pride endangers their sense of being pretty. With their mind focused on their blues, they do the opposite of lifting their spirits out of miseryhood.
• A woman uses exposed skin to build intrigue. But men don’t see what she intends. They see what they want to see. Namely, a willingness to venture into the sexual arena. Men are attracted and move in. She gets more than she wanted, seems to have little control over first encounters with men, and sinks into a depressed state about her prettiness, attractiveness, and obviously blemished skin. She tries to lift her depression with a tattoo or two. Depression lingers like the tattoo because she attacked the effect. The real cause is expecting exposed skin to produce the results she wants.  

1110. She is as She Appears

Modern women keenly enjoy their ‘rights’. Having the right to do something, however, doesn’t mean it’s right to do it. Unintended but silent consequences follow women as seen publicly. The following outcomes spring from women appearing unkempt and trashy in both grooming and attire.

• Men evaluate such women this way: Cheap and easy sex target, but probably not for me. It translates in man-speak to ‘she’ll still look like hell after someone other than me marries her’. 
• Such women help keep manly interest centered on sex and away from female worth. If she doesn’t care about prettifying herself, men think, she wouldn’t care about pleasing me.
• Women show little pride and self-respect. Dressed better for special events, they appear uncomfortable and desperate to catch a male. Men detect desperate females, before women admit they are.
• Men perceive married women as unworthy of husband, and his competitive stature weakens. Unmarried females imagine husband about to be cut loose or driven away, if they even care what their female competition looks like.
• Women bring daughters along equally unkempt and trashy. Little girls are imprinted early that preparation, hair care, and personal grooming are unnecessary in public. Personal taste should and ought to outrank public standards. Thus, the next generation learns to care less about personal responsibility.

Dennis Prager claims we all have a moral obligation to make ourselves happy and, thus, present others with a pleasant person to deal with.

Research, study, and experience tell me that women are happier the prettier they appear, or prettier the happier they are, and which comes first doesn’t matter. Also, women expect men to show personal responsibility in caring for women and children. It follows that females should have reciprocal responsibility to care about what men value ultra highly, feminine attractiveness.

Unkempt and trashy may fit female tastes, but it works directly against fulfilling female hopes and dreams.

1065. Big Breasts Revisited

My writing sometimes lacks clarity, and Her Highness Kristine questioned me at #1004:

“Just out of curiosity, why do you say women with big breasts are ‘blessed’, but then say that women shouldn’t get implants?”

I said this: Such women should exploit what they have until they consider themselves blessed by their own measure. A woman’s blessings flow from men investing themselves in her and her hopes and dreams, right? So, her blessings start with the unique attitude and pride of ownership that defies access other than after extensive manly investment in her.

Breasts are useful for fun, eroticism, and babies. The less she pursues fun and eroticism and the tougher to access her breasts, the more predictable and probably tougher to help along her way of life will be the man that finally succeeds. Lengthy competition before marriage gains his respect. Strong-minded conquerors don’t fully appreciate the women behind easy conquests, and breast access sure makes conquest easier.

The very same applies for small-breasted women to feel blessed. It’s not the size, but the unique attitude and attractiveness she displays to make men invest themselves in her.

As to implants, cosmetic surgery may improve self-image somewhat, but it fails to improve one’s self-esteem. Also, Her Highness Kathy beat me to it with her last paragraph commenting on #1004:

“It has been said that ‘happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.’ This is still true, even when it comes to breast size. If you’re not happy within yourself as you are, then having your breasts augmented won’t make you happy either. You may be happy for a short time, but happiness comes from within, not what you look like on the outside. Before too long, the thrill of having what you thought you wanted will fade, and you will be just as unhappy as before.”

Kristine also asked, “How is reading [that big breasts are blessings] supposed to make women with small breasts feel better about themselves?” It’s not. All women have to make themselves feel better, but keep this in mind: Big breasts fascinate adolescents, but the fascination dissipates if not disappears if and as men mature. Consequently, big-breasted women more easily attract adolescent-minded men, whereas small-breasted women more easily attract mature men aka the most permanent husbands.

908. Female Beauty: Make It Ordinary

Female beauty goes beyond the obvious but only if women persist and make other features attractive to male eyes.

Female beauty is a function of male perception and imagination, and the competitive spirit flowing between males standardizes it. Modern standards call for pretty face, well-cleavaged boobs, and slim shape.

Most women accept these male standards, figure they don’t have all or any of it, and see no need to try very hard. Thus, by disqualifying themselves, they betray their natural self-image and demolish their own morale. The real beauties capture all the attention, except for other women that focus on and provide sex to compensate men for dealing with them. 

Appearance-wise in daytime public not even 10 percent of females stand out among their peers. Most step down to common low standards. When females look alike, they keep male imagination focused on one thing, and that thing’s uniqueness disappears with conquest.

Considering how females appear in public today, it’s hard to distinguish the lower 50 percent of females from the lowest 10 percent based on attractiveness. Real beauties get all the benefits of beauty, because others forego their natural female instinct to compete with females.

Failing to dress uniquely female with heavy emphasis on feminine attractiveness creates three disadvantages for females: (1) They expect men to think of nothing but sex. Men do exactly that, because female unattractiveness leaves conquest as a woman’s only uniqueness. (2) Women are willing to grovel or be fawningly submissive to have a boyfriend. (3) A guy’s first impressions are clouded with a woman’s appearance closer to ugly than beauty, closer to common than extraordinary, closer to sex object than wife candidate.

Women won’t do much better handling men in their lives than they do today, until they jack up their daily appearance standards. Even husbands, God forbid, expect wives to appear attractive when they least expect it. It reminds husbands of their good judgment choosing her as wife.

865. Boob Language — Part 24

One indirect path to female glory with her mate lies down this road: She dresses and grooms herself to make most men drool about her pretty or better appearance. Not as sex object, but as super-attractive modest female obviously devoted to husband. Top that with lighthearted behaviors and ease to laugh, and most men envy or learn to admire husband.

Men may compliment a good looking woman but not with husband nearby. Men don’t comment even with innocent motivations about a wife to her husband. They know they’ll be misunderstood. But worse, it may make husband suspicious of wife more than the man.

When husband assumes or detects indirectly that other men appreciate his wife’s attractiveness, yet she remains devoted to him, he becomes proud. It’s an ownership issue, I admit. 

Pride pushes his masculine compete button, and he becomes almost obligated to help maintain her appearance on his behalf. Unless husband’s tight-fistedness ranks higher than wife’s appearance and his competitive spirit, he wants to display her gorgeousness. (Remember: He already thinks she’s good looking, so upgrade easily becomes gorgeous to him although not necessarily other men. Much he concludes about her in public results from his imagination and not about what other men actually think.)

She can dress much more attractively with his pushing for it than with her doing it on her own or trying to coax wardrobe and grooming money out of him. And if women wish to feel better about themselves, let them toss away the male-like, undistinguished, and dull-color attire.

801. Boob Language — Part 23

• Modern women attire their upper bodies as if boob quantity counts more than quality, as if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. Modesty and unique breast line shaping reverse that thinking among men.
• No surprise: Exposed skin diverts his curiosity away from her non-sex attributes. Surprise: Sex satisfies his curiosity instead of shifting it onto her other qualities. 
• Modest attire, grooming, and non-sexed up attractiveness is the only thing other than ugliness that diverts his sex drive to the back of his mind. (Not to claim that’s all he thinks about, but that she should expect everything to remind him of it, and she controls best with feminine modesty AKA her signs and symbols of personal restraint and supposed disinterest.)
• The movies show women attacking a man to expedite getting to intercourse, for example ripping off his clothes. It’s probably good for box office draw, but in the real world such a woman voids that man’s respect. (He thinks: If she’s that eager for sex, she’ll not discriminate with whom she does it. So, I’m certainly not special, just a tool. But that’s alright for now; I’ll take it.)
• Women copy masculine practices. They rely on unappealing clothing and choose carefree or careless grooming. They go along to get along, and after conquest have to get up and go along.