- As women go, so goes society. When men do not admire feminine qualities, they see less promise in women as mates, they pay less attention to female values, standards, hopes, and dreams. In response, they dominate women and children more disrespectfully and aggressively.
- Men appreciate but do not admire a woman’s display of her sexual attributes. Sizes and shapes may vary but every woman is equipped with the ultimate target for hunters. It does not make a trophy. Why should men admire what is so common? Consequently, her virtuous qualities far outweigh her sexual assets for both getting and staying married.
- A woman’s need of romance is not a virtue; men appreciate but do not admire her need. Fulfilling romantic notions is more of what he has to do. It is seed planting, prelude, and foreplay and usually in that order unless a woman yields easily.
- A woman needs both the warm mood and symbolic importance that romance provides; good results greatly please her. A man first needs the mood to initiate romance; it’s a way to achieve something else—please her, prove his interest, win her favor, enjoy her company, relax in her closeness, recover from his mistakes.
- When she harshly expects her man to react to her or pressures him to get her way, she stifles his initiative. His resistance and the backpressure of masculinity uncover this truth. Her will to prepare (e.g., seed planting and indirectness) is more important than her will to succeed (e.g., competing and insisting too much). That is, if she hopes to succeed getting more attention, affection, admiration, and even romance,
- Men may not admire neatness and uniquely feminine appearance at the degree that women expect. Men have different tastes, compete among themselves, and thus differ over what they admire. They definitely do not admire carelessness, sloppiness, or the lack of feminine traits.
- Women tend to dislike this part of the male nature. To admire something is to want to possess it. In man-think, marriage enables a man to possess a woman, which enables him to take her virtues for granted. The more effectively she uses the qualities that he admired in courtship as her promise for a life together, the less attention she appears to need beyond the altar. He paid her price and now she is trouble-free for him. (Equal? Apparently not. Fair? Only if she finds balance in her gratitude for all else that he represents for her. Disruptive? Yes, if she is unable to find enough gratefulness to satisfy her mind and reprogram her heart. In his mind, he is not taking her for granted. He is merely trying harder to make himself more effective pursuing his various missions in life that include her well-being. If she expects him NOT to take her for granted, she should find a pre-conquest way to motivate him accordingly. Lengthy courtships provide the time to encourage changes in his expectations and for him to form new habits.)
Category Archives: Dear daughter
“As for me, my primary motivation for transforming my outer appearance was to NEVER LET MYSELF BE ECLIPSED BY ANOTHER WOMAN in my boyfriend’s mind. Of course, if I stand next to a movie star, I might not be as outstanding, but I am confident that my continuous efforts at perfecting my skills will make me a dignified lady next to her. I just never want my boyfriend to ever think that some other woman is so gorgeous BECAUSE of my sloppiness.” [SBaby at 806]
“Many, many women — perhaps out of their woundedness — advocate manipulation (instead of indirectness), aloofness (instead of principled feistiness), superiority (instead of respect), etc. The differences might sound minor, but my experience has been that they instead are a gulf… and one avenue leads women to crustiness and increased discontent, whereas the other leads them to gentleness and increased peace.” [Not-so-annonymous Anne at 1409]
“Men are powerful, and women are magical. [Breatheeatlive at 1904]
“And yet I know it’s not OK, and that it is not right that women should be pressured into a kind of “lease with option to buy” arrangement with their boyfriends in order to have a chance at marriage and family.” [Lisette at 1945]
“I have to ‘play the game or stay on the bench’. The game being modesty and the bench being singledom.” [Brown_eyes at 1924]
“It’s the 10th day of my having adopted this philosophy and I’m still amazed by how my mood/confidence really rises and falls upon the degree of satisfaction and pride in my own appearance. I used to be guilty of taking shortcuts – I wasn’t a slob exactly – more of a 5/10 most days because I never thought of linking self-respect with personal prettiness, certainly not in the terms you’ve set out. I only bothered to dress up when I first started new jobs but inevitably, once the novelty and perceived need dwindled, so did my standards. Now it’s different – I can really appreciate the effect it has on my mood. When I’m very satisfied with my appearance, I genuinely am unaffected by what people think, whether it’s prompted by flattery, curiosity or envy. Compliments, when they come, are lovely but I don’t feel the need to seek them because I’m secure that I’ve met or exceeded my own standards for prettiness. One of my male colleagues told me I looked charming today. That’s the first time anyone (male or female) has said that about me and given the working culture I’m in, it was very nice icing on the cake! Thank you for making me realise that taking the time to make myself attractive isn’t trying to create what doesn’t exist, or mask faults, but rather to compliment, complement and highlight what I’ve been endowed with, and for which I am learning to be grateful!” [PeachBlossoms at 1146]
A female’s happiness starts here. The mirror confirms her self-love, aka appreciation of who she is. The mirror also provides nourishment to her sense of self-importance, aka appreciation for what she does. With those satisfactions, she becomes grateful for herself, and gratitude is the essence of happiness.
A female’s unhappiness starts here. Poor choices at the mirror contradict her self-love and under-nourish her self-importance. Those two dissatisfactions nullify self-gratefulness, which leads to finding other ways to feel good about herself. Overeating compensates and overweight follows.
When the mirror doesn’t make her feel good enough about her appearance, she abandons her natural tendency for caution and eats like men. Overeating drowns her intuitive nature about showing off her prettiness.
Mirrors spout guilt and generously spray women with desire to improve what they see. Thus, the secret to weight control and proper weight resides in mirrors made friendly by a female’s heart and nature. When the mirror is her enemy, she makes poor choices and betrays self-interest. She chooses to do too little, takes shortcuts, or otherwise fails to develop a satisfied appearance for the moment, day, or life. Poor choice today leads to more tomorrow, and future views at the mirror bring disappointment, frustration, and embarrassment.
Each female has both an easy weapon and strong ability to achieve her desired weight and shape, namely the mirror and new attitude. Change her actions and self-talk at the mirror and she changes her attitude.
Attitude is the outward expression of her heart. To change it requires actions that reprogram how she feels about herself. If she drops poor choices at the mirror and adopts good choices, her attitude changes, her appearance improves, and need to overeat diminishes. So, let’s define poor and good.
Poor choices follow this attitude. ‘I’m unable to fix or make future benefits out of one or all of my discouraging features. Therefore, I will copy others whom I envy for their appearance and ability to attract guys’. Her determination fertilizes decisions to become poor habits.
Good choices follow this attitude. ‘I’m dedicated to always make my features look their best and with improvements in mind for making each feature better, even if it takes years. To copy others whom I envy betrays my uniqueness and weakens my ability to compete with them for the man of my dreams. I’m my own person’. Her determination fertilizes decisions to become good habits.
Poor choices damage her ability to be grateful for herself. Gratitude brings happiness, and gratitude for how she looks is the first step. So every poor choice at the mirror takes a chunk out of future happiness.
The toll road to both slenderizing and happiness starts first thing in the morning as summarized in article 1440 and others mentioned there. At the mirror each day, this toll is paid: She identifies another good idea to study, tries and appraises improvements, and determines to turn into habit whatever prettiness presents her at her greatest before others and especially family. When at her prettiest, she believes in herself, manages her family better, and wields influence far beyond what poor choices produced earlier in life.
All women are pretty in their hearts. If they don’t expose it by prettifying their outward appearance,* they lose influence with females and personal effectiveness with men. Choices made at the mirror determine a female’s life, lifestyle, and happiness.
*Contrary to modern custom, neatness and bright colors magnify female prettiness. Males are colorful in the animal world to out-compete other males for sex and enable females to hide for protection. Females use neat and colorful attire in the human world to out-compete other females for a protective mate. Doing so lures males away from their protective places, methods, and manners.
- A husband’s sexual fulfillment comes from learning through the actions and attitude of his wife that he’s a great lover. Not greater, not greatest, and not anything else comparative. It’s just him and his ability repeatedly to honor her wishes and pleasures even over and above his own. According to her, he never weakens much less fails. On the other hand, failures in bed—regardless of fault—damage a man’s psyche and reduce admiration for her qualities, which makes her less virtuous and weakens her promise of being a great wife, which alters his devotion and questions his dedication to sexual faithfulness.
- Men think in terms of doing things and not in terms of how they feel. For instance, they don’t chase happiness like women do. They let it come to them and even then they don’t think much about it. They buy big toys for accomplishment and pleasure and not happiness although a little of it may follow. They still have too much to do even if it’s just to relax at beach, book, or beer. For instance, they don’t think much about their gratitude for something or somebody. They appreciate but they don’t dwell there. Gifting as expression of gratitude doesn’t carry much weight. It discloses their feelings too much for their own comfort. Thus, by not frequently expressing their gratefulness for somebody or something, their heart isn’t steered toward happiness per se, which means they just are not drawn toward it as women are.
- Work is the essence of a man’s significance. Men who are unable or unwilling to work lack significance in their own eyes; they end up of little or no benefit for their women too. ‘Work’ means wanting to accomplish worthwhile objectives and is best developed by fulfilling various responsibilities as a boy until achievement and productiveness become habitual. Boys not taught to work end up troublesome for both parents and later spouses. They become addicted to self-entertainment, such as video games, drugs, porn, gangs, and similar excursions into self-centered and troubled lives.
291. Except maybe for those who have been swallowed up by political correctness, men are judgmental about their woman’s sexual history. Even if a man insists on hearing hers or discloses his own to make it appear normal, she should not reciprocate. She has nothing to gain and everything to lose. 
292. Once she opens to door to her sexual history, men probe for details about the extent and justification for it. Her only safe route lies with silence even about platonic boyfriends. Every detail makes a heavier-than-usual bundle for the final straw that break his marital back. 
293. His respect and her unmarried sexual activity work like a zero-sum game. Highest respect equates with real or virtual virginity. Little respect equates with promiscuity and can be anticipated as proportional to her looseness—as he perceives it with a negative bias from what she discloses. (Fairness and equality are foreign to his conclusions.) 
294. If he honors her insistence for silence about her sexual history, his respect is doubtless deep and abiding—the kind that lasts and lasts and undergirds his love that bonds in the process. 
295. When emotion triggers a man’s anger, he too easily focuses on his woman’s sex life before he came into her life. This costs her respect when she needs it most. Her past promiscuity and even platonic relationships amplify her problems—if he knows about them. 
296. Total silence is her best protection, but that’s impractical. She needs light-hearted banter and smiles to disclose the absolute least possible as he probes for information. (Also avoid complaining, explaining, finding fault, and imposing guilt.) 
297. A woman needs to master the art of dominating this other issue during courtship in anticipation of what will follow naturally. A conqueror’s right to ‘ownership’ of their sexual agenda includes full-disclosure of her past. Once he’s had her, he seeks to measure himself against his competition—that is, other men. Who, when, and how many went before and may return, or with whom he may come face-to-face some day? 
298. A woman should never, never, never, never, never reveal the sexual ability of another man to her present man. Especially if better but even if worse; the quality of an earlier lover to present lover is toxic to HER. Let her never be persuaded to violate this axiom.
299. Feminists begrudge men notching their bedpost as disrespectful of females. So, women initiate sex to compete and match masculine behavior. This enables more and more men to take up notching. Women thus generate disrespect for their own gender. 
300. One biting and lingering effect of Feminism is that women envy men and dislike being female. This mindset empowers men to take greater advantage of women, especially those desperate and unhappy. 
281. The only window of opportunity to change a man opens before and closes after his sexual conquest of her. What she screws is what she gets, until his natural hard-heartedness mellows and hard-headedness softens much later in life. 
282. Some women are not true to themselves. They act phony to capture a man. Men marry expecting wife NOT to change, but she does. If she’s phony before marriage, she turns into a woman he did not marry. 
283. Women marry and expect their husband to change, but he doesn’t. Change is unmanly, but a man relents when necessary to convince, court, and conquer a unique woman viewed as extraordinary and marriage candidate for him. 
284. A woman’s openness with a man does not serve her until after years of marriage and maybe not even then. Men as hunter-conquerors like tough targets, difficult game, hard-to-get prizes that first challenge and later provide frequent reminders of their manliness. The woman that makes it easy for him to understand her—or to take up residence with her—trains him against her best interests. 
285. They are different. A man takes his relationship for granted. She reads it as his taking her for granted. Both are just following their nature. As the relationship expert, she has the burden to compensate. 
286. The way a person dresses plays a major role in how they behave. Other people judge them accordingly. Therefore, our attire and grooming generate judgments about us, and people act on those judgments when they deal with us. Husbands are people too. 
287. Extra grooming and dressing up not only improves her appearance. It improves the picture she has of herself, lifts up self-worth, heightens self-gratitude, sponsors happier thoughts, breeds self-confidence, and intensifies her ability to deal successfully with her husband. (For further details see articles 806, 1146, 1440, 1441, and 1752.) 
288. If women don’t want to light up the world men live in, men are released to ‘uglify’ it in their own style. Dress codes notwithstanding, the way women dress and groom themselves shapes the appearance and much of the morale of both home and workplace. 
289. Her sexual history disclosed to a man earns or lowers his respect. In general, closeness to virginity earns respect. Promiscuity detracts. 
290. A man can hardly help but judge his woman harshly about her unmarried sexual history. It’s the male nature, although men feign disinterest or deny it so they can discover more. 
271. After conquest the infatuated but less-than-fascinated man focuses on life with her as sex partner at the cheapest cost to him—girlfriend, lover, booty, live in, or wife if necessary. 
272. Even before a man starts a relationship, she’s his target for conquest. His appreciation, respect, and her value go up as he tries to overcome difficulty achieving his goal. Also, how he handles her objections and obstacles discloses if he’s truly into her, if he has the potential to become devoted to her. 
273. The feminist ideology wraps the female heart with meanness toward men. It breeds selfishness and self-centeredness and injects female ugliness into relationships. It makes women stand up inside and figuratively shake a fist at men. It pushes men to fight back with what often become abuse, abandonment, and violence. 
274. Instead of relying on the feminine side of their nature, modern women fish with exposed breasts and net a man with sex. But they can’t hold him. In that way, women pay the price of politicized and socialized elitism. (For specific differences, see the series Dark Side of Feminism) 
275. Acting feminine maximizes a woman’s value to herself and men. By doing so, she uplifts her self-worth, enlarges her self-image, and broadens her self-interest. She likes herself as girl, female, woman, mother, grandmother, and girlfriend. Masculine men react the same but in manlier roles. 
276. Men respond to feminine women by becoming more responsible, which encourages women to become more feminine. 
277. Feminine behavior attracts men to rise above themselves and accept domestic and fatherly responsibility. A woman’s feminine spirit makes her appear vulnerable and challenges good men. One will admire himself with thoughts of taking care of her. 
278. Femininity encourages girls to listen and duplicate mother’s and even grandmother’s experience. This enables each generation to improve on its ability to tame and harness male dominance into fulfilling female hopes and dreams. 
279. If she makes it easy for him to know her, she makes it hard for him to keep her. Mystery captivates. Candidness victimizes her with whatever strengths of dominance he chooses to use. 
280. The greatest male candidate for marriage has unconditional respect for the opposite sex that exceeds respect for his own sex. The same applies to women candidates, but it’s easier to observe in women than men.