Category Archives: Dear daughter

2102. Compatibility Axioms #561-570


561. If husband expects wife to dress seductively in public, he wants other men to admire him for having her. This reveals his self-centeredness, and when aging makes her less youthful or attractive, she becomes expendable emotionally if not physically.  [202]

562. If he were as good as she expects, he would have bypassed her and chosen another woman  [202]

563. If his commitment—whether true or disingenuous—is enough for her to yield sex their first time, his devotion will likely never grow to her later satisfaction. [202]

564. If she chases a man or men, then to the man and men she’s desperate and therefore disposable because she lacks self-respect and is therefore not respectable enough for much more than sex. [202]

565. If she is unhappy with her man, he sees it like this: Her ingratitude appears unjustified, because he is a good man doing his best. If he thinks otherwise, he does not care about her unhappiness and probably looks elsewhere already. [202]

566. When men have to make arrangements for their own meals, whatever woman they are with becomes more expendable. [202]

567. A man enjoys looking at an attractive, pleasant looking female. When his woman looks sloppy and uncaring, he’s bored, knows that he has earned more, and soon looks for something more attractive. [202]

568. She acts ungratefully with and for her man. Then she blames him for her unhappiness. Her ungrateful actions dominate her feelings. [203]

569. Jean Jacque Rousseau was wrong about many things, but not this one: “The more women want to resemble [men], the less women will govern them, and then men will truly be the masters.” [203]

570. As with all of us, he produces better when he lives for something or someone higher than himself. Another reason why married men are more successful and live longer lives than their uncommitted, unattached male brothers. [203]

 

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2101 — Compatibility Axioms #551-560


551. Christian men complain that young women and girls dress so seductively for church that they discredit God and steal male attention away from church teachings. Church-going men usually make good husbands, but they must be proud of how their wife appears in public. [200]

552. If she doesn’t dominate the courtship agenda, she won’t have much power in any other arrangement—except separation. [201]

553. “We are mutually co-dependent,” she imagines. Women think or hope that men are like females in their thinking, habits, and urge to constantly be together—wrong! [201]

554. If she does not like herself and love being a female, she will not appreciate any man for very long—except the older, father figure. [201]

555. If she stands for nothing but the popular and fashionable, she will fall for what’s new—including another man. [201]

556. If women don’t condemn what embarrasses them, they undermine their self-respect and miss opportunities to gain the respect of men for female sensibilities. [201]

557. Marriage boils down to this: She chose him. As the relationship expert, she’s responsible to qualify him and place value on whatever he’s selling. Then, as the buyer, she makes whatever adjustments are necessary to live with what she ‘purchased’. [201]

558. Modern women use sex, hope, and loving affection to bond their future with a man. But the multitude of short relationships shows that it doesn’t work very well. [201]

559. Instead of making men prove they are worthy of her as the buyer and him as the seller, modern women reverse those roles in order to have a boyfriend. They consider the present more important than the future, which is the male and not female priority of life. [201]

560. Men highly value female virtue. The promise of eventual conquest of a virtuous woman adds honor to his manly persona and significance. But it’s up to women to demonstrate the qualities that men admire and decide are virtuous. [202]

 

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2100. 7th Anniversary, Tempus Fugit


Seven years ago tomorrow I posted my first article as declaration of war against Feminism. I titled it “Feminism Indicted.” I copy it here as still appropriate and the birthmark.

——

  • Feminism Indicted: Feminism is the philosophy of envy of men, the creed of anger at men, and the gospel of politics in relationships. Its inherent virtue merely equalizes unhappiness for women seeking or living with a man.
  • Femininity Acquitted: Femininity is the philosophy of attractiveness for men, the creed of faithfulness with men, and the gospel of devotion to one man. Its inherent virtue civilizes men, balances male dominance, suppresses male aggressiveness, inspires men to prove their worthiness, and rewards men for acting responsibly as both husband and father.
  • Feminism discourages male adoration of women. Femininity inspires it. Feminism demeans masculinity to get what women want. Femininity praises manliness to get what women want.
  • Feminism unleashes the savage male beast. Femininity tames it.
  • Anger energizes the politics of Feminism. Indirectness and modesty empower the cultural and domestic leadership of Femininity.

——

I started the blog with commitment to explain what women never hear and expected to post a few dozen articles. Now at 2100 I have become relatively devoted and intend to continue the mindset.

Those of you who comment make my duty more pleasant and enjoyable. Thank you.

 

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2099. Compatibility Axioms #541-550


541. Females are born hard-headed and soft-hearted. Males are born hard-headed and hard-hearted. Her hard-headedness captures a man. Her soft-heartedness holds him. [199]

542. Romance to males means foreplay or prelude to it. Women define romance as what precedes foreplay. [199]

543. Women can enjoy masculine-style sexual freedom, but they eventually lose playing that man’s game. (Losing defined as inability to keep a man for life.) [199]

544. Commitment made before conquest fades or dies afterward, whereas a man’s devotion may dip a little after conquest but it returns. [200]

545. Everything looks and tastes better when you’re grateful. Finding reasons to be grateful for yourself and others simply brightens life. [200]

546. Selfishness interferes with gratitude, the absence of which causes unhappiness. [200]

547. A man’s devotion depends on his respect for a woman, which mostly floats on her wavy ocean of self-respect, exceptionalness as a female, feminine virtue, unique qualities, and likeability as potential mate. [200]

548. A man’s enduring love is built upon his respect for women generally and respect and likeability of one in particular. Need for her intensifies his devotion. [200]

549. After conquest a woman ceases to be a challenge, because a man’s most pressing goal has been accomplished. He moves on to his current mission in life, whether she’s his keeper or a dumpee. [200]

550. Modest attire sends the message she’s interested in long-term relationships. Immodest attire signals she’s interested in a man, period. [200]

 

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2096. Children are Self-developers


Children pass through four development phases. Parents do best when they purposely adjust their emotions, skills, strategies, and intentions accordingly.

INFANCY. Good infant development depends on calm and unconditional mother-love and smother-love. Mother takes excellent care and continually showers the infant with attention, affection, and appreciation. Plus, she tries to ensure the absence of personality harshness, shocking noises, and other disruptions that may not shock but are too much to program the child’s heart with calmness. You instinctively know all that, but did you know that self-esteem is ‘hard-wired’ in infancy? However well the infant is treated with superb care and adoration determines how well they value themselves throughout life.

The calmer and better the mother’s performance, the higher the self-esteem that develops in the infant’s subconscious mind. Father-love works best in infancy when it copies mother-love. Infancy ends when the toddler’s conscious mind opens in the third year and he or she becomes aware that they too are an individual person. In each child’s heart, their adventurous life turns to self-development. They wish for more out of life and girls hope and boys aim to produce much of it themselves.

THE ‘WEANS’ OF TODDLERHOOD Mother weans the child away from her constant attention, endless affection, and unconditional appreciation. The toddler is weaned away from dependence on mom toward the independence and adventure of first grade. Nurturing continues but smother-love fades away in favor of proactively demonstrating unconditional respect of boys and unconditional appreciation of girls.

The most significant event in toddlerhood is that a child’s self-development begins. They are confronted with parental support or objections, and the groundwork is laid for their becoming troublesome children or not. The ‘weans’ end when the child settles proudly into first grade, enabled to proceed to work on their own without mom’s oversight. Mom’s nurturing should end except for self-development eruptions and disappointments in the child’s heart or mind.

THE ‘TWEENS’ BEFORE PUBERTY Mom should give up what she does best and what keeps her happy and satisfied that she’s doing well. In the course of everyday events, mom’s nurturing should fade away except when needed to restore a child’s confidence, settle emotional turmoil, or smooth out other disruptions in the child’s self-development. As mother’s role weakens, father’s role becomes vital. Leadership supersedes nurturing. Mature adult examples outshine words. Children learn to admire and choose to aspire to become adults. Not for what parents do or have but for what the child envisions he or she can do as an adult after having observed models and options in parents.

The tweens are critical in this way. If children are enabled to self-develop, they seek to copy admirable adults. If they don’t aspire to duplicate mature adult examples, they look elsewhere for behavioral examples and immaturely seek to copy peers and celebrities. What and whom they copy determine their adult life.

THE TEENS — Nurturing has no business in the teens. It embarrasses children. They are adult-like in their minds and firmly planted in self-development. Mom’s nurturing and dad’s lectures may be heard but not heeded. Both nurturing and close supervision are out of place among teens because they envision themselves as adult-capable. (I remind to extend teen years to the age proven through cultural history and traditionally used. Adult maturity arrives closer to age 21 than any other year in life.)

Coaching works best. It shows respect for the child, recognizes their adult-capability, and reinforces a child’s ability to make good choices. When poor or bad choices are made, parental empathy helps develop maturity by signifying the teen is responsible. OTOH, parental sympathy helps develop immaturity by signifying that the teen may not be responsible. It’s the subtlety and indirectness of coaching that makes it more effective with teens.

To match the child development stages, parents can use these strategies. Infancy calls for great nurturing. The weans call for proactively showing respect for boys and appreciation and importance of girls. The tweens call for leadership by example by both parents with father’s being the most indirectly influential and mother’s the most directly influential. After puberty coaching works best.

In each stage, the over supervision of boys and the lack of appreciation of girls slow or harm their development.

 

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2095. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 96


  • Women have pretty much convinced everyone that men are the primary culprits for mucking up relationships. Women are experts on managing relationships but men are not, so even equal blame may not be appropriate.
  • Infatuation is a powerful inducement to do wrong by letting feelings override a woman’s thinking. The infatuated girl or woman too easily disregards or fails to exploit the character shaping and guidance provided by God, modesty, vanity, morality, and the rest of her female nature.
  • Women do not have to embrace the feminist ideology to embrace feminist values. For example, modern women expect or sanction teen sexual activity to attract masculine attention. They let or teach daughters to dress like hookers, show cleavage to match plumber backside exposure, and dress erotically. Boys and men learn to insist on more and more, and females of every age acquiesce. Nowadays, boys exploit girls as friends with benefits. Men grow older eyeballing more and more exposed skin and dreaming wishfully or wistfully about going from older bloom to younger blossom. Compatibility decays further under social pressure to cheat rather than respect one’s mate. [131
  • A connected difference exists and women ignore or miss this point of nature today. Women hug a man to be held. Men hug a woman to kiss or more. Thus, the common practice of everyone hugging everyone confirms the woman’s importance at each man’s expense—he’s challenged. He may feel awkward with self-restraint or thrilled with the feel of the female body.
  • Why don’t women like to be approached or hit on by strange men? They don’t know how to react successfully because they lack self-confidence that arises out of self-respect that arises out of self-gratitude. IOW, they are not grateful for themselves and don’t like to be reminded of what they don’t deserve.
  • Females inherit typical female convictions, motivations, and qualities at birth in many combinations and variations. Each woman is born unique, and men have an endless variety of women in which to find virtue and from which to choose a virtuous mate. IOW, women are born to be virtuous as men define it, and men determine virtue by the unique female qualities they see in each woman. It means that each woman competes against women for virtuous uniqueness in order to have more options to pick and choose the best man for her.
  • Success in marriage depends basically on two factors. 1) She depends on what he does, his actions. On what he does to, for, and about her, which she perceives with her secondary sensor, her eyes. 2) He depends on her words. On what, how, and why she says to, for, and about him, which he perceives with his secondary sensor, his ears. It means success in marriage requires both sexes to pay less attention to their primary sensors. What she hears and what he sees are not the major determinants.

 

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2093. Compatibility Axioms #511-520


NOTE: A man’s domains are those relationship issues about which he’s the boss, near-boss, thinks he should be, or aspires to be that eminent person. Either as he sees it or concludes from daily negotiations or haggling with his woman. [189]

511. It’s the territorial imperative in coupledom. She shows disrespect when she invades his domains and signals his insignificance when she succeeds.[189]

512. Disrespect shown to a man piles up to kill his love. Insignificance piles up to end his presence. [189]

513. Symptoms of less love and his impending departure can be found in less interest for fulfilling his woman’s hopes and dreams. [189]

514. When women try to lead in masculine domains, much as feminists do, men find bigger or better ways to stay ahead. This leads to put downs, mistreatment, and an ‘I’ll show you’ spirit. Examples: rap music, family abandonment, and abusiveness. [189]

515. Relationship success comes from making daily decisions that build mutually recognized and honored domains for each spouse. An organization cannot long function under two equal CEOs. [189]

516. Men appreciate cheap and easy sex. But, they don’t much value unearned gifts. Such female behavior cheapens a man’s conquering spirit. It denies him opportunity to prove his manly worth by other than sexual performance. [190]

517. A woman’s eagerness for the excitement of sex make her appear too loose for a man to expect her faithfulness.  [190]

518. Being given what a man expects to be a challenge turns him toward other challenges. [190]

519. The female nature intuitively guides mature girls and women away from the extreme behavior of cheap and easy sex. They know something else is much better for them. [190]

520. Though not as women expect, casual sex energizes men. If she’s that free and easy, then he can pursue the next score, notch the bedpost again, and go after more. [190]

 

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